When the Road Gets Bumpy

baconslave

We've finished the first month of a new year. How are we doing? Are we still firmly on the road to good health. Or did the road get bumpy on us, and we slide off.

I found this email in my inbox this morning from BodyFit by Amy (good YouTube workouts btw and FREE) that seemed pretty darn applicable.

THE "ON TRACK" TRAP

We are officially ONE month into the new decade! How is the new year treating you so far? How are those goals, resolutions, or intentions coming along? Are you "on track" or have you "fallen off the wagon"?

As a nutritionist, I hear my clients use these phrases multiple times per day to describe their health and fitness journey. In fact, I have often referred to my own health journey this way. But, while these phrases seem innocent, they could be problematic since they closely resemble all-or-nothing thinking. Read on to find out more.


A REAL MESSAGE FROM A REAL CLIENT

"First day of the week and already off to a bad start. I was doing so well. I worked out at 6 am and ate my veggie and quinoa stir-fry for lunch, but then my boss brought cupcakes from a local bakery for my co-worker's birthday. These cupcakes are my absolute favorite, and while I tried so hard to stay "on-track," I caved and had one. I felt so guilty and angry that I completely fell off the wagon on the first day of the week. I was so disappointed in how I ruined my day that I just picked up fast food on the way home because honestly - what's the point? I'll get back on the wagon tomorrow. "


THE ALL-OR-NOTHING CYCLE

Now, there's nothing wrong with the idea of wanting to get back to your routine after making some unhealthful choices. But, in the example above, one decision (and a negative mindset) led to a complete derailment of the train. I had ONE cupcake; therefore, the entire day is ruined, and there's no point in doing anything healthy now. This is classic black and white thinking and a common reason why we do not reach our health and wellness goals. If this person had the cupcake to celebrate the special occasion, enjoyed it, and went home to have the dinner they prepped, they could have reached their goals. But instead, anytime something got in the way of being 100% perfect, this person gave up for the day and chose to start again the next one. By the time Wednesday would hit, the whole week was "ruined," so the plan was to begin next week, and next week, and next week, and next year. You get the idea.


THINK OF CHOICES RATHER THAN DAYS OR WEEKS

It can be helpful to think of each CHOICE as separate entities, rather than each DAY or WEEK. Eating one cupcake in the afternoon has no effect on the quality of your supper/dinner. Missing one workout doesn’t change the plans for the next one.


EMBRACE THE IMPERFECTIONS

Look, some days, you will have every intention to workout for 45 minutes, or cook the healthy dinner that you planned for. But, life happened, and now you are tired, your kids are sick, and you have some work to finish up at night. Turns out, you don't have 45 minutes to work out or cook after all - and even if you could make the time, you are way too tired anyway. Instead, you rather go for a quick walk. Or do nothing. It's okay! Embrace it. Roll with it. This is normal. Walking 10 minutes or skipping ONE workout does not make you a failure. You are still on track, but the track got bumpy, and the weather got bad, so you had to make some adjustments. The weather will clear up, and the bumps will end. The choice to skip this one workout doesn’t mean that the whole day or week are ruined!


BE NICE

We are all bound to slip! No one is perfect, but how we respond to those slip-ups can make all the difference. Let’s say you've had some bad days (or weeks), and you've been allowing yourself one too many treats, and you've skipped several workouts. What now? Be nice. It’s essential to be kind to yourself, especially when you make choices you aren’t proud of. Forgive yourself - focusing on your failures won’t help you propel forward!

Hope that helped someone. It's so true. We make myriad decisions. Success is stringing along enough good decisions consistently until we make it there. We only fail if we stop learning lessons from the mistakes and give up.

So if your January got rough or wasn't perfect, who cares? You're still here. Dust yourself off, figure out what went wrong and formulate a hack for it, then get right back on that wagon. You have this. Really!

No guilt, but no excuses.

nrs101364

Thanks for this! It is indeed the truth behind so many failed attempts. I started gaining weight about 15 years ago. The mentality of all or nothing was definitely my Achilles heel. I am now much more realistic. If I want a cookie or chocolate or some other carb I merely just have it. Yesterday for instance, one of my co-workers brought in chocolate. I had a mini bag of m&m's. I also stopped later to see my friend at a local bar and had one beer. I taste carby foods when I want to and still have lost 100 pounds since joining MFP in July 2019. Life is tough enough, we must be gentle with ourselves. Our bodies and minds are our most valuable commodity, in fact we are each valuable, so we should treat ourselves as such!

Violet_Flux

Thanks for sharing this, @baconslave. 😺

We haven't been checking in for a while, somehow it fell off our routine & we kinda forgot all about it.

Still stuck to our plan, mostly, but the month was not 'perfect'. We got nearly there, but last week things kinda blew up & we lost control & someone binged... carbs & calories off the charts for one day. 😿

But its like, we were good for the other 30 days, so its not the end of the world. Just made us feel kinda sick for a couple days, like carb poisoning or something lol.

We're still here tho, still trying.

baconslave

Great posts!

This is such a mental game. As long as we keep our perspective in the right frame, this helps us more than we know. It gives us a leg up. Mistakes are an opportunity to troubleshoot and refine our strategy and aims us more toward a life that can maintain more easily once we reach our goals. 29 or 30 days out of 31 that are perfect is better than just 2 or 12. It's great! Consistency and persistence over time. There'll be mistakes, as that's what humans do. If we learn from those, we're still progressing.

Fall down 7 times. Get up 8.
Of course if we fall down fewer times, that's ideal. But if we keep learning, troubleshooting, and improving, progress will come.

It took me 1.5 years to lose the weight. Then I regained 15lb trying to deal with health problems and figure out maintenance. Lost it. Gained winter weight. Took a summer to lose it. I'm back down almost to where I can leave it alone. I have learned so much about my silly brain, and I will learn more still. I still have mostly kept off over 80 lbs for 4 years. I'm working on making that 85 or 90. I'm doing a lot better about not letting the swings be as far up as I go. I'm hoping one day, I'll get where I want and a swing only looks like 3-5lbs if there's any at all. We're always a work in progress.

TL;DR: Do the thing. Decide you will. If you mess up, so what? Learn and adapt. Keep working. One step in front of the other no matter how obnoxious the storm. If it blows you around a bit, meh, it happens. You'll get there. And you are worth it.

amckholmes

Thank you, as I mentioned on a different thread I have been struggling with bad decisions coming out of nowhere. Previously I would binge then restrict for days, punishing myself and feeling really horrible. This week I had an ugly binge, then just let it go and went back to my planned meals. My weight this morning was right back to where it was the previous week and I skipped all the feeling horrible part

canadjineh

Thanks, baconslave. I so needed that, family health and caregiver stresses have caused a lot of "falling down" for a while now and weight's crept up. I am checking in with an IRL friend for support and so far it's helping me stay with my food plan.
Carry on, y'all! 😽

supergal3

I truly understand the caregiver stresses. They have pushed me into many a cookie binge. I now try to relax more and de-stress with friends rather than food.

tishsmith101

Work stress has been knocking me down but I think I turned a corner yesterday. I've been reacting to the stress cause and I just can't allow that anymore. I control how I react and that realization alone lifted some of the weight off my shoulders. A very timely post indeed, thanks @baconslave !!

taylok23

Great read and I appreciate everyone sharing. I, too, have had days where stress creeps in and mindlessly eating makes you feel terrible. I had a few slips in the last month but didn’t let it ruin the whole day. I took measurements this morning since the scale didn’t move in January. I was down a half inch in the waist and and inch in the hips and thighs. So don’t beat yourselves up too much- those nonscale victories are out there. Sometimes you just have to search.

brenn24179

I am up 5 lbs, wanted to be down 5. My 92 yr old Mom is stressing me and the winters are rough, dont remember them this hard last year. I love done throw in the towel, keeping on keeping on. I know it gets easier when warmer. I got out and did a run/walk thing today when it got warmer, felt great. May have to bundle up like when I was younger and make myself get outside and walk. I hate the track at my gym, so boring.

CrispyStars3

Yes, great post @baconslave !
I used to have the 'complete breakdown' when I would not make the best choice(s) in times of "weakness". So true of me in the past to throw my hands up and say I'll start again the next day or on Monday... and here I am years later! I have wasted too much time doing that...lol. Over the last few years I've realized my expectations and reactions are a bit extreme. I've allowed work stress, daily life, holidays roll me into the all-or-nothing cycle.
Now- I've turned that cycle around---> relax, keep going. The 'guilt voice' is toned down. I don't 'fall-off', 'start over', or have 'cheat days'. And just like the post mentions: I just have choices. I own the choice I make regardless of what is going on around me. Continue moving forward...

anglyn1

I've had a ton of "family stress" which has honestly been ongoing for quite awhile but did not slow down for January...combined with being my birthday month I went a little too far on the treat yourself attitude. I've been working hard lately not to be so all or nothing and just trying to embrace baby steps in the right direction.

Kpaige428

Thank you for sharing this, I really needed to read something like this!

ploomka

I try to keep the 80/20 mindset and make 80% healthy choices. That’s like 60% higher than I used to do. It helps me to stay focused. Perfection is an illusion.

baconslave

Bumping this post. It's from Feb 2020, but it is still so applicable! Please give it a read if you are feeling frustrated or discouraged in your weightloss or maintenance journey.

NYPhotographer2021

Thanks for bumping this up @baconslave It is exactly what I would to to sabotage my diet in the past. I'd let one thing derail me, then it just kept piling up until I gave up completely and felt like such a failure. This time around, I'm hoping I can keep working past that. I have up to this point. I've had a few instances where something I ate was completely not in my plan and most likely just too many carbs/sugars. But this time, I just chalked it up to a moment of weakness, and just kept on keto-ing on.

Even now, with my weight on the scale bouncing all over the place, I am still plugging away. I'm at my lowest I've been in years. So I've decided to be happy and grateful for that! Yes, I still whine about it, but I just figure my body knows what it's doing. Even if I don't have a clue. I'm feeding it mostly good, healthy food, with a little treat here and there. I know from past experience that eventually I will get another Whoosh! and be even lower. I just have to be patient and enjoy & love my smaller self!