"Are you sick?"

mudtea

That seems to be the "compliment" I receive a little more often than I'd like. I know my face doesn't quite have the fill it had one year and 50 lbs ago, but "sick" isn't exactly the the first word I hope to hear from people who haven't seen me in a while. (I'm 5'9" and 162 lbs, btw.)

Maybe because I'm a gay man, I'm slightly taken aback by a perceived and dated stereotype of gay men dying of AIDS. Or maybe I'm just a little overly sensitive. I do know that I'm actually pretty fit these days, so in that way, it burns me all the more. All the same, I'm polite and just answer that I've intentionally lost weight but that I know all too well where to find it again in case I really need it.

Do gay women or straight people get this just as much as I seem to? Do other gay men, for that matter?

TattedInStilettos

I a couple gay male friends that lost weight and they've told me that's what a few ppl said to them or have them crazy what the **** looks... Myself as a lesbian fem have gotten are you on drugs because i drop 30lbs in a month and a week... Why because drugs are big in the lgbt community... Ppl are stupid ignorant...

jmwolffyy

I had bariatric surgery a year ago. I also recently met my girlfriend, who has trichotillomania (hair pulling syndrome), and offered to support her by buzzing my hair and growing mine out beside her - which she accepted. So within a year I lost > 120 lbs and started wearing bandanas on my head to work (because they keep the temp in my office at around -5 degrees and my almost bare head was COLD!), and there were a bunch of people who started asking my coworkers if I was ill. The funny thing was, when they heard my story, they finally were able to speak directly to me, but not before that! I don't know if that is better or worse than people who ask you directly if you are sick.... I also don't know if I would have gotten the question just based on my weight loss, but the hair thing sure triggered it fast.

wendyapple

i think "are you sick" is a notch or two worse than "you look tired." i admit, i have had to stop myself from saying to someone that they look tired, only because it's just not something i like to be told, so i can't imagine it's pleasant to hear people asking if you're sick, when your intention is to be just the opposite - healthy. keep up your good healthy work, and treat yourself well. maybe invest in a new article of clothing that flatters your new shape, or a spiffy haircut that shows off your new angular jawline. they say the best revenge is living well, so live it! :flowerforyou:

EATYOURKIMCHI

I recently had a co-worker say "are you sick?" after not seeing me for a year. I didn't say anything really but just kind of ignored it. I guess it comes with the territory of losing weight.

MartialPanda

i think "are you sick" is a notch or two worse than "you look tired." i admit, i have had to stop myself from saying to someone that they look tired, only because it's just not something i like to be told, so i can't imagine it's pleasant to hear people asking if you're sick, when your intention is to be just the opposite - healthy. keep up your good healthy work, and treat yourself well. maybe invest in a new article of clothing that flatters your new shape, or a spiffy haircut that shows off your new angular jawline. they say the best revenge is living well, so live it! :flowerforyou:

This. Embrace and kill them with you looks. They're jealous and trying to bring you down.

sassymanatee

The office rumor is that I'm bulimic which sort of bugged me at first because it's like they didn't expect me to lose weight through hard work. Now I just laugh at it.

brandiuntz

I have to laugh at how some people respond to seeing other people get healthy. Fortunately, I have not been asked if I"m sick. I get plenty of "you don't need to lose any more weight" comments.