The Diary of a Barefoot Nurse Stuck on a Temperate Deserted Island

Options
MatthewTyson238
MatthewTyson238 Posts: 4 Member
edited July 15 in Social Groups

Desert Island Log – Day 1 (…or Day 100?)

Day 1. Or maybe day 100. Hard to tell anymore. Time's slippery here. Like a wet banana peel on a tiled floor.

Let’s call it Day 1 anyway – the first day I’ve bothered to write anything down. Nursing at the Alfred feels like a lifetime ago… but logically, it was probably last Friday. Funny how quickly your frame of reference shifts when you swap shift work and coffee orders for coconuts and storm-dodging.

Woke up this morning with the usual existential dread and mild dehydration. Fixed the second one by drinking water laced with one of those wake-up tablets I salvaged from the shipwreck. Thank the gods (or capitalism) that a container ship hit the same reef my little yacht did – unlucky for them, but jackpot for me. Among the debris: enough supplements to keep a CrossFit mum going through the apocalypse.

Brewed coffee (yes, still living bougie even in survival mode), added some creatine and glutamate like I’m prepping for leg day – which I guess I kind of am. Wandered across the peninsula to the ruined gym. Who built it? No clue. The gods of cardio, maybe. Or just some poor soul with more optimism than structural integrity.

It’s still standing, mostly. Abandoned. Dusty. Full of ghosts and cobwebs. Still… cardio day. FFS.

Did I mention I hate cardio?

Lucky my walkman survived the wreck. Currently listening to Let Them by Mel Robbins. Motivational as hell – even out here. She's shouting at me to stop whining and get on with it, which feels oddly appropriate.

The island is cold today. When you hear “desert island,” you think sunburn and tropical breezes. But nope – it’s grey, wet, and miserable. The kind of weather where everything feels damp. I’ll need to light a fire later.

Workout plan said:

  • 20 mins elliptical
  • 20 mins walking
  • 20 mins cycling

The elliptical’s working. The bike needs fixing – naturally. Hard to find a decent repairman on a deserted island. And the treadmill? Occupied. By a Hope Snake. Don’t ask me why it's called that. Probably ironic. Anyway, I’m not negotiating with a snake today. So, 20 mins elliptical it is.

Workout done, I grabbed Dotty – the ship’s dog and now my emotionally co-dependent best mate – and we headed out. Misa, the Japanese parrot, squawked at us from the shelter but stayed behind. She’s not one for drizzle.

We wandered to the ruined coffee house. Again – don’t ask. The people are long gone, but the barista gear remains. And praise Poseidon, the container ship had Happy Happy Soy Boy milk and good beans. Pulled myself a soy cappuccino. Small, but satisfying. Still got it.

Wandered back to the shelter. Dotty made a beeline for the fire (her version of Netflix and chill) while Misa waited, staring at me like I owed her rent.

Lunch was simple: low-fat yoghurt, two scoops of protein powder, and three eggs from my chickens (yes, I have chickens – thank you, container ship). Hard boiled the eggs. Great snacks. Better than coconuts. Coconuts lie.

Fed Dotty and Misa, then sat down to eat. Now I’m here. Sitting by the fire. Watching the rain. Thinking about dinner. Probably too much.

Honestly, food occupies way too much of my brain. I mean, yes – survival, calories, protein. But also… pasta. Remember pasta?

Anyway, that’s Day 1. If I die tomorrow, tell people I tried. And that I made a damn good soy cappuccino in the apocalypse.

— Matt (a.k.a. The Barefoot Castaway Nurse)