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Men acting hot and cold

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  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    I think I read once that men need to pull away when they get too close. Something to do with feeling overwhelmed and putting the brakes on. I think the metaphor was they are like elastic bands!! :laugh:

    I wouldnt worry about it until he pulls away for good :wink:

    Anna, I often wonder if this is the reality as it happens to me too, or where I am the common denominator, if its me.

    Hmmm! Well, I think it depends on the guy. But in your case Raige, I think if it's happening every time then you need to soul search a bit? They may be pulling away cos they find you too intense? Too much, too soon? Too needy? I dont really know, but the 'elastic band' comment was more for men in relationships, rather than just a few dates.

    I think I read it in the Mars v Venus books? Long time ago now, but I think it makes sense as men are more inclined to back off and assess their emotions and keep them in check, whereas women are just emotional train wrecks, most of the time!! :laugh:

    Anna, as I soul search more and more, I discover things about myself that men probably don't like. I have a very hard time letting a man pay my way on a date ... I hate it in fact. I like to pay my own ... probably a side effect of being single without really dating for 10 years prior to my last relationship ... I'm very independent. I am also one of those girls who likes to take care of her man ... I like to cook for him, give massages (not all the time obviously) ... little things like that. I have read on numerous dating advice sites that it is very emasculating to a man for a woman who wants to go dutch on date, and that being too attentive to a mans needs makes him feel like he is being mothered which is not attractive to him. My issue is going to be if I can put myself out of my comfort zone and allow the man to be the man, for lack of a better way of saying it.

    I'll take the the attention and the massage.. but I'm paying for dinner! . .
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
    I think I read once that men need to pull away when they get too close. Something to do with feeling overwhelmed and putting the brakes on. I think the metaphor was they are like elastic bands!! :laugh:

    I wouldnt worry about it until he pulls away for good :wink:

    Anna, I often wonder if this is the reality as it happens to me too, or where I am the common denominator, if its me.

    Hmmm! Well, I think it depends on the guy. But in your case Raige, I think if it's happening every time then you need to soul search a bit? They may be pulling away cos they find you too intense? Too much, too soon? Too needy? I dont really know, but the 'elastic band' comment was more for men in relationships, rather than just a few dates.

    I think I read it in the Mars v Venus books? Long time ago now, but I think it makes sense as men are more inclined to back off and assess their emotions and keep them in check, whereas women are just emotional train wrecks, most of the time!! :laugh:

    Anna, as I soul search more and more, I discover things about myself that men probably don't like. I have a very hard time letting a man pay my way on a date ... I hate it in fact. I like to pay my own ... probably a side effect of being single without really dating for 10 years prior to my last relationship ... I'm very independent. I am also one of those girls who likes to take care of her man ... I like to cook for him, give massages (not all the time obviously) ... little things like that. I have read on numerous dating advice sites that it is very emasculating to a man for a woman who wants to go dutch on date, and that being too attentive to a mans needs makes him feel like he is being mothered which is not attractive to him. My issue is going to be if I can put myself out of my comfort zone and allow the man to be the man, for lack of a better way of saying it.

    I'll take the the attention and the massage.. but I'm paying for dinner! . .

    lmao oh is that how it is?! :tongue:
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member


    Anna, as I soul search more and more, I discover things about myself that men probably don't like. I have a very hard time letting a man pay my way on a date ... I hate it in fact. I like to pay my own ... probably a side effect of being single without really dating for 10 years prior to my last relationship ... I'm very independent. I am also one of those girls who likes to take care of her man ... I like to cook for him, give massages (not all the time obviously) ... little things like that. I have read on numerous dating advice sites that it is very emasculating to a man for a woman who wants to go dutch on date, and that being too attentive to a mans needs makes him feel like he is being mothered which is not attractive to him. My issue is going to be if I can put myself out of my comfort zone and allow the man to be the man, for lack of a better way of saying it.

    I'll take the the attention and the massage.. but I'm paying for dinner! . .

    lmao oh is that how it is?! :tongue:

    Yep. . and I'll return the favor on that massage too. .

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