First Date Etiquette for the over 40 crowd
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I agree with the answers.
I would add that, as a woman, you are NOT to cross or anger the man you are dating. So I would be wary of offering (even humbly) to pay, as the man you're dating could become angry and be offended - and it would probably be over by then. It seems obvious when said but only real men can be emasculated.
As men, we have traditionally been the breadwinner and money is a symbolisation of our power. Take this away, and you take away our power.
We like to show on a date that we are able to protect a woman, like a knight in a bank-note armor (yes, we love to sprinkle a bit of humour too as you can see!). This is why we insist on paying, because we want to show the woman that we are the right person for her (Mr Right), able to protect her and able to cater for her needs in the future.
So many women complain that their man is a leech, a couch potatoe. But the man who is earning enough money to pay for dinners earns enough money to pay for his bills.
Of course it is also a nice thing to pay for dinner (and it pleases us). This is our way of showing we are nice and there are other ways for you to repay us later.
It is true that sometimes we appreciate when the woman asks, as it gives us the opportunity of showing our resolve and determination in paying ("I insist!") - it's a fine line for women, maybe a bit risky as you are taking the risk to anger the man depending on their individual level of susceptibility.
But for us, this is a subtle way of showing our strength, power, determination.
Wow, just wow.0 -
How did the date go? We need an update!0
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How did the date go? We need an update!
Date was Saturday night and it was really, really nice. We met at the movie theatre. It was raining so he ran to my car with an umbrella and we shared that to the door. He paid for movie and popcorn. We went in his vehicle to the restaurant about 20 minutes away and had a drink at the bar while waiting for our reservation time. He sat me down at a table at the bar, asked what I wanted to drink and went to the bar to order. He paid for drinks.
When we were seated at our table for dinner, he told me to order anything I wanted. He had the King cut of Prime Rib (they come and carve it table-side) and I opted for the petite portion of Surf and Turf (prime rib and Lobster tail). When the bill came, I asked if he would like to me contribute something toward the dinner and he said simply "No." I followed up with a "Thank you, this was really nice."
He then told me he didn't want the evening to end and suggested we find a bar that had some live music. So, off we went and found just that. We picked a table in the back corner, talked, listened to music and people watched for another few hours. The first kiss was here, at the bar. Just a little one. He drove me back to my car and again, kissed me goodnight.
He called the next day (yesterday) and told me that it was the most amazing first date he's ever had. He followed that up with a request to see me again.
I have to say it was the first time, post divorce, that I actually felt like I was being courted. I didn't have to plan anything or pay for anything. All I had to do was look good, show up and enjoy myself. I definitely think that a second date is in my future
Thank you all for the advice. It's always an awkward situation for me.....dating and dating etiquette. I really never expected to be dating again at the age of 46.0 -
Terrific news that it went so well! :drinker:0
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Wow, that sounds perfect! Congrats!0
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YaY! How lovely :bigsmile:0
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What a fabulous date!!! I love how he didn't want it to end. So happy for you!
To answer your original question, I always have some money on me so that I *can* pay, but I never offer to. Only once has someone expected me to pay my way (in 3 years of dating). There have been other times when I insisted on paying but that was ONLY because I could tell right away we were NOT a match and I personally feel like I shouldn't let a guy pay my way if I never want to see him again.
Again, I'm so happy for you!! I hope the next date is just as fabulous!0 -
JanieJack, that is an excellent idea for my question about paying. I have been on a few dates where I just know that nothing is going to ever click, and yes, this would be the time for me to offer to pay my share and perhaps let him know why. It's the perfect awkward moment ice breaker.
It was an awesome first date and he called last night and wants to see me again this weekend It's my birthday on Saturday and he wants to celebrate it with me on Friday or Sunday, so that I can spend Saturday with friends and family. We're going to make a plan tonight. 0 -
It was an awesome first date and he called last night and wants to see me again this weekend It's my birthday on Saturday and he wants to celebrate it with me on Friday or Sunday, so that I can spend Saturday with friends and family. We're going to make a plan tonight.
Very sweet! :flowerforyou:0 -
How did the date go? We need an update!
Date was Saturday night and it was really, really nice. We met at the movie theatre. It was raining so he ran to my car with an umbrella and we shared that to the door. He paid for movie and popcorn. We went in his vehicle to the restaurant about 20 minutes away and had a drink at the bar while waiting for our reservation time. He sat me down at a table at the bar, asked what I wanted to drink and went to the bar to order. He paid for drinks.
When we were seated at our table for dinner, he told me to order anything I wanted. He had the King cut of Prime Rib (they come and carve it table-side) and I opted for the petite portion of Surf and Turf (prime rib and Lobster tail). When the bill came, I asked if he would like to me contribute something toward the dinner and he said simply "No." I followed up with a "Thank you, this was really nice."
He then told me he didn't want the evening to end and suggested we find a bar that had some live music. So, off we went and found just that. We picked a table in the back corner, talked, listened to music and people watched for another few hours. The first kiss was here, at the bar. Just a little one. He drove me back to my car and again, kissed me goodnight.
He called the next day (yesterday) and told me that it was the most amazing first date he's ever had. He followed that up with a request to see me again.
I have to say it was the first time, post divorce, that I actually felt like I was being courted. I didn't have to plan anything or pay for anything. All I had to do was look good, show up and enjoy myself. I definitely think that a second date is in my future
Thank you all for the advice. It's always an awkward situation for me.....dating and dating etiquette. I really never expected to be dating again at the age of 46.
That's awesome! 0
