when cycling interferes with life
primal_cupcakes
Posts: 280 Member
Hey guys,
I was wondering if any of you have experienced that moment when cycling goes from harmless hobby to obsession. The thing about cycling is that it's a very time-intensive hobby. If you have a family and other commitments, how do you make time for cycling without irritating your loved ones?
One way I have found to minimize the impact of long rides on my family is to bike to work and school. It's a good way to get in some miles each day without substantially taking away from my time with them. But that doesn't change the fact that when Sunday morning rolls around and the weather is primo for a ride, that I'm not going to try and get out there and ride for a couple hours if I can swing it.
Can anybody else weigh in on this? How do you balance your obsession with cycling with all the other pressing obligations and commitments of everyday life?
I was wondering if any of you have experienced that moment when cycling goes from harmless hobby to obsession. The thing about cycling is that it's a very time-intensive hobby. If you have a family and other commitments, how do you make time for cycling without irritating your loved ones?
One way I have found to minimize the impact of long rides on my family is to bike to work and school. It's a good way to get in some miles each day without substantially taking away from my time with them. But that doesn't change the fact that when Sunday morning rolls around and the weather is primo for a ride, that I'm not going to try and get out there and ride for a couple hours if I can swing it.
Can anybody else weigh in on this? How do you balance your obsession with cycling with all the other pressing obligations and commitments of everyday life?
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Replies
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I do not care what others think,
its all about me,
I like it, I am going to do it.0 -
Cycling does not interfere with my life. I use my bike to commute, so I ride about 48 kms every day during the warm months. I can either spend that time on the bus or in the bike saddle. I choose the second option.
On weekends, my husband joins me and we ride together. We usually get in our Sunday morning ride before the teenagers even crawl out of bed, so they never even notice that we're gone. And we usually do our grocery shopping by bike, which is time we can either spend in the truck or getting exercise.
My family knows I'm obsessed, and they have learned to deal with my idiosyncrasies.0 -
My husband and I are both avid cyclists. It started with me, then he joined in. Now 30 weeks pregnant, I'm not cycling much.
When we did it together it was loooooong rides on weekend mornings or afternoons. Even at times when one or the other wasn't as "into" it as the other person, we'd take long rides to go for lunch or to the park or whatever. We'd often ride both days of the weekend, coming it at well over 100 miles a weekend.
Now that it's just him, he gets them taken care of early most of the time. I also see it as a great opportunity for him to have time with his buddies or by himself. He doesn't go to the bar after work, or do the whole pool league thing, so it's his time and there is no way I'd take it from him. Perhaps if he did those other things as well I'd be bitter about it, but since he doesn't I'm not.
During times when I was more into it than he was, I'd go early or late so it didn't interfere much with our time. And I made sure I didn't overdo it and be useless the rest of the day.
Another thing is we've volunteered at events that each other have taken part in. Either as SAG support or working rest stops.... it makes us both feel like we're together even though we're not.0 -
Cycling does not interfere with my life. I use my bike to commute, so I ride about 48 kms every day during the warm months. I can either spend that time on the bus or in the bike saddle. I choose the second option.
On weekends, my husband joins me and we ride together. We usually get in our Sunday morning ride before the teenagers even crawl out of bed, so they never even notice that we're gone. And we usually do our grocery shopping by bike, which is time we can either spend in the truck or getting exercise.
My family knows I'm obsessed, and they have learned to deal with my idiosyncrasies.
Sounds like you've got it down!0 -
I was the cycling nut when I remarried. For about 5 years, he didn't really ride except the odd mile or two with the kids on a weekend. Then we moved. He is now the cycling nut - though not so much the riding as the buying and selling of bikes and parts to build his very own bicycle custom to him. It's a nice passion as I've benefitted - I now have two bikes I would never be able to afford for myself. My kids all have great bikes. And we ride - we ride big rides on weekends. And we each ride what ever fits into our schedules on our own time during the week. Riding bicycles is a family affair. Though I'm the distance rider. I have promised myself now the kids are growing into the 'they can be alone' stage, to do the 100 mile rides for myself. That looks to be in the next year or so. Trying to get the boy to go for that too but have to build his confidence up to know he can really do it.0
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I do not care what others think,
its all about me,
I like it, I am going to do it.
Hi I'm a divorce lawyer........you may be needing my services at some time in the future (j/k I have a real job.....)
To the OP.....it's all about balance. I run early in the AM while the family is still asleep and I get my riding miles commuting to work and occasionally a longer ride on the weekends. It's getting easier as the kids get older, there were quite a few years that I didn't get to ride anywhere near as much as I would have liked but c'est la vie!0 -
Nope - don't have this problem. I don't have a life.0
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I commute to work ..20 miles round trip daily... I think most things including cycling are best when made a routine part of your life. But that is me... i like routine and family time having two boys one in pre-k and other freshman High School football player.0
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Riding on the trainer at 4 AM = happy marriage. On the weekend I'm on the road at sun up to minimize the amount of time I'm away from the wife and kids. Long rides are my "me time" so I try to take it from my sleep time or my R&R time or other time that would be dedicated towards me/my sanity before I look at taking away from family time.0
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I got a headlight (bright 500 Lumens) and a good taillight and head out between 4:00 - 4:30am for my long rides on the weekends. Even my shorter hour long rides are usually after the littlest ones have gone to bed.
The past couple of months I have been trying to do a group ride on Tuesday nights which are over now. However doing the ride at 6:00 pm on Tuesdays was a challenge and I usually felt guilty doing it.
So early AM late PM with a good light are the way I do it..0 -
I am lucky, I live in sunny Brisbane, Australia so my secret is early morning rides. Depending on the distance, up at 4.30 to 5.00am and back home before everybody else is out of bed. Weekends, more of the same. The other trick is to get the kids cycling as well. It might be slow but it is still time in the saddle. As they get older and develop a similar passion, the distance and speed gets better and the wife can't complain if you are 'taking the kids for a ride'.
The biggest trick is balancing the other activities (surfing and paddling) around the cycling balanced around the family balanced around work. Does anybody else feel as tired as me now I've had a good think about it.0 -
On the weekends, I'm out on the road before anyone is awake. and during the week, I ride as soon as the kids are on the bus. This system USUALLY works well0
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I do not care what others think,
its all about me,
I like it, I am going to do it.
I like how you think.
Unfortunately I can't ride to work or school to get fulfillment. I love riding trails. So I always find myself riding early in the morning on weekends. Sometimes, right after work.0 -
Easy answer.... I got divorced.
Now I can cycle all I want without demands.
(Not really the reason but it helps me get through....)0 -
I have two kids 8 & 10, my husband and I both work full time and both like sports that require significant time. He is a marathon runner, I ride. We try to work our event schedules so that only one of us is in peak training/racing at a time, and that person gets priority when time gets tight. My events tend to be late spring early summer, his are late summer early fall. Our kids activities require some additional planning, so we schedlue, schedule, schedule...
We are lucky enough to have family close so they get the kids on Tuesday, Wednesday & Thursday.
Monday I get the kids, take S to gymnastics & take V to the Y with me. Tim meets me at the Y after his run and gets V. Then I run and teach Spin class. I pick up S from gymnastics after my spin class. Family Dinner
Tuesday (S has gymnastics, V has horseback) & Thursday (V has dance) we can both do what we like as long as we pick up kids by 6:00pm, I try to ride at least one of these days.
Wednesday he runs, I set up for church youth group. In-laws bring the kids (already fed) to church and we go from there. If I need to I can go to the Y after church.
Friday (S Gymnastics) Tim get the kids, I teach at the Y and pick up S after. Family Dinner.
Whoever gets the kids, makes dinner, does homework, etc... Whoever is exercising can either get home in time to do the family dinner or they can have leftovers, guilt free.
Saturday's are event & weather dependent. Whoever is in their training season or has an event has priority, the other may or may not get something in. We almost alwsy have a family activity that we all do together on Saturday.
Sunday's are "Date Days" most Sundays my in-laws take the girls after church and Tim and I spend time together. Sometimes we'll workout, but most of the time we just hang out...movie, dinner, shop, house work (rarely), whatever. It just gives us time to connect amidst the chaos.
We try to get at least one family dinner during the week and at least one activity for the whole family over the weekend. We often drive separately to things so we can split up, and there is more tag team parenting than I like to admit, but somehow we make it work.
I guess it's all about having a partnership, being honest about your needs, determining priorities, planning and being willing to give up things once in a while when the plan gets disrupted. Our kids come first, so disruption is the norm, but it typically only affects whoever doesn't have priority.
Crazy but true, this is my life...0 -
I've got a wife and 3 daughters. I love them dearly. But I love me too. And I need riding time. So I take it. Usually with good feelings all around. But sometimes it gets a little tense.
So: Do I sacrifice my ride so I can eliminate the guilt of not being with my family? Or do I sacrifice my family time so I can eliminate the guilt of not being on my ride? It's a tough call sometimes, and usually if I have to make this decision, both sides lose in some way or another.
Still, for me, this is a really great problem to have. But it's still a problem and it still causes issues with balance (or lack thereof).
Ultimately, if I know I have a ride (or run, I do triathlon) that is going to take a lot of time from the family, I try to let them know about it as long before I ride as possible. Sometimes I'll remind them it's coming up. As a few mentioned, I also try to minimize the effects by getting up as early as I can. If I miss some sleep, I'll just go to bed at the same time as my daughters do. No shame in going to bed early.
The hardest part, for me anyway, is coming home after my ride. I'm given enough time to shower and change, then BOOM. Ride time over, Dad time started. No resting, no kicking back, no beer, no nothing. Just jump straight into Dad time like the ride never happened. This part can downright stink, but it's all part of it. For me, anyway.
Good luck figuring it all out.0 -
I like to say that Life interferes with my cycling . . .
Living in NH, not only does life interfere w/ my cycling . . . But so does the weather (winter is coming): The day-light hours are quickly shrinking leaving only the weekends for long rides; The gym & pool are now more packed w/ everyone else coming indoors; and my family's needs are also the most important (Happy wife, happy life).
So it's all about finding balance and minimizing the sacrifices that need to be made :-)0 -
It's about figuring out what is more important to you.
If it's all about YOU then the family suffers. For some people who don't care about their family, this is okay.
If it's all about the family then you find a compromise that makes everyone happy. There is such a thing, and there doesn't have to be hurt feelings from anyone.
Best of luck.0 -
Its a simple choice in my household, but there are still a few ups and downs.
If they want to see more of me (less riding), they need to get used to seeing more of me (bigger - 6 stone in fact).
If they choose to see less of me (more riding), they will see less of me (fitter, happier and more energetic).
I have a saying in my house, 'The sofa is the real killer'.0 -
I can so relate to a lot said in this thread, I do have a tendency to get obsessed with things which come and go over a period of a few weeks in most cases, guitar, gaming, mini helicopters, cross dressing (one of these is not true), the past three months have been cycling and will be for some time to come because it's getting me to the shape and state of health I want to be, it's eradicating my Asthma and probability of heart issues to name but two.
I've been with my current girlfriend *which sounds weird as were both in our 40s but hey ho* for 18 months now and she's still a tad clingy when it comes to getting time with me, the poor woman has to battle against my love of computers, footy, gaming and now cycling, in many ways I honestly wish I was single to fit more in without having to consider anyone else, of course that leads to a bit of a lonely existence.... for me anyway I like the company of someone to love from time to time
. I've learnt the hard way *through arguments* that the only way to have both is to put aside 'agreed' regular time that you spend together and the rest is free to do what you want, I let her pick one day at the weekend and we generally spend Tues and Fri evenings together as they are kids free nights generally.
Of course we still have disagreements about all this and she generally comes out with 'you never spend any time with me' which quite frankly does my head in lol but hey ho if you can't do what you want barring a little compromise then you'r going to be unhappy and probably with the wrong person.
The other problem with being in a relationship and being a cycle nut is when you suggest sticking a turbo trainer in the front room it doesn't go down too well, looks like I'll be training in the garage then when it's icy
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'you never spend any time with me' which quite frankly does my head in lol...
If I had a fiver for every time I heard that!
:grumble: :huh:0 -
Life has interfered with my cycling. I used to ride about 50 miles a week but now I'm in love with a mountain biker. It's a hard compromise to make us both happy. Now we mostly do city riding on the weekends. Fort a while it bothered me but I have rediscovered my love of riding for the sake of riding, and not just for training and pushing myself. I love those long, tough rides and I will get back to them soon but finding a man that will ride with me for fun has been amazing. My ex was a roadie but he used to leave me in the dust on every. single. ride. I think I can handle sacrificing a few miles to have a joy ride with the man I love.0
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I was an avid cyclist (both road and mountain but mostly mtb) after I went through a heart-breaking divorce. It was what kept me sane. I'd get 150+ miles in/week and lived that lifestyle. When I met my NEW wife, mileage decreased a bit just because I wasn't the only one to think about, but I still got a lot of miles in. Then, last October, my little boy was born.
And I've hardly ridden since. I went from the above mileage to MAYBE 20-miles per week in for the first 6-months. A youngun' like that just sucks so much time and energy. Not complaining, it's a wonderful trade-off but I did miss my bikes. And man, I got out of shape! I didn't gain too much weight, but my endurance just tanked.
Now that he is older and sleeping through the nights, I'm starting to find a better balance and one that doesn't have me gone for hours at a time. I'm a morning person anyway so I get up early and go for a mtb ride and am usually home before the wife and boy are even awake. I'm also commuting to work a lot more now so I get some road miles in. Also just bought a kid-hauler bike trailer, and aired up the tires on the wife's bike. We've been cruising the neighborhood with the boy in tow, so that's nice. Slow, casual miles but it's still on two-wheels out in fresh air.
But yes... the 40-mile long epic rides and weekend mountain bike camping/beer-drinking events are a thing of the past ... at least until the ankle-biter is old enough to enjoy camping. 0 -
Life has interfered with my cycling. I used to ride about 50 miles a week but now I'm in love with a mountain biker. It's a hard compromise to make us both happy. Now we mostly do city riding on the weekends. Fort a while it bothered me but I have rediscovered my love of riding for the sake of riding, and not just for training and pushing myself. I love those long, tough rides and I will get back to them soon but finding a man that will ride with me for fun has been amazing. My ex was a roadie but he used to leave me in the dust on every. single. ride. I think I can handle sacrificing a few miles to have a joy ride with the man I love.
Nothing annoys me more than seeing "significant others" left behind on rides. I see this so often and can't imagine ever doing that to my wife. So I'm glad you found a guy that won't do that!0 -
I was an avid cyclist (both road and mountain but mostly mtb) after I went through a heart-breaking divorce. It was what kept me sane. I'd get 150+ miles in/week and lived that lifestyle. When I met my NEW wife, mileage decreased a bit just because I wasn't the only one to think about, but I still got a lot of miles in. Then, last October, my little boy was born.
And I've hardly ridden since. I went from the above mileage to MAYBE 20-miles per week in for the first 6-months. A youngun' like that just sucks so much time and energy. Not complaining, it's a wonderful trade-off but I did miss my bikes. And man, I got out of shape! I didn't gain too much weight, but my endurance just tanked.
Now that he is older and sleeping through the nights, I'm starting to find a better balance and one that doesn't have me gone for hours at a time. I'm a morning person anyway so I get up early and go for a mtb ride and am usually home before the wife and boy are even awake. I'm also commuting to work a lot more now so I get some road miles in. Also just bought a kid-hauler bike trailer, and aired up the tires on the wife's bike. We've been cruising the neighborhood with the boy in tow, so that's nice. Slow, casual miles but it's still on two-wheels out in fresh air.
But yes... the 40-mile long epic rides and weekend mountain bike camping/beer-drinking events are a thing of the past ... at least until the ankle-biter is old enough to enjoy camping.
Laundry basket = tent crib, just FYI.0 -
Here is a prime example of some of the challenges that have been brought up in his thread: My boyfriend has been in Kazakhstan on business for a month. He will be here this weekend before heading back out of town on Monday for 11 days. This weekend also happens to be the date of a two-day, 100-mile bike event that I have done every year for like 8 years. He is a little butt-hurt that I am going to do the bike event this weekend of all weekends, but I really can't wrap my head around skipping it. So it is what it is.0
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ATM I have a good balance between biking and family life, I ride on my day off during the week while hubby is in work and kids are in school and on a Saturday morning while my hubby and son are at tennis and my daughter spends quality time with her nanny so it's a win win for all of us ????0
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I definetly have this porblem myself. I am an avid cyclist. During the season which turns out to be all the time at this point I spend anywhere from 8 to 20 hours a week on my bike. I have a wife and a 4 year old at home. During the summer time when training for some big races I was riding aroudn 300 miles a week. However I cant imagine not riding at this point. Some events or races have made life and scheduling very difficult at home. I would say the best thing I have done is to try and spend as much time with family as possible during recovery days and also during off season. When It gets dar early I spend allot of time on the trainer so at least I am home. I definetly dont have this figured out yet, but I do my best to spend any not riding time with family.0
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Seriously, your BF goes in Kaz for 11 days and he resents you doing a yearly event cause he is only home 3 days?Here is a prime example of some of the challenges that have been brought up in his thread: My boyfriend has been in Kazakhstan on business for a month. He will be here this weekend before heading back out of town on Monday for 11 days. This weekend also happens to be the date of a two-day, 100-mile bike event that I have done every year for like 8 years. He is a little butt-hurt that I am going to do the bike event this weekend of all weekends, but I really can't wrap my head around skipping it. So it is what it is.
LoL
I fail to see how this is your problem, unless yu gave him a hard time about the 11 days away :laugh:0
