Overwhelmed with all this baby and birthing stuff
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ldrosophila
Posts: 7,512 Member
This is my first child, and we have nothing for the baby besides a side sleeper minus mattress. I am feeling so overwhelmed what do I need for the baby for those first few months? Do I just buy newborn diapers? I am a total idiot when it comes to baby stuff or birth stuff so you have to use simple terms for me because I have no idea what a boopi is or a snuggle wuggle sleep sack or whatever else they call it. Please help!
Seems there is so much to learn and so little time.
Seems there is so much to learn and so little time.
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I think safety is probably the most important thing to know right off the bat. The rest of the stuff you can just figure out. Car Seat for the Littles is a great page on facebook and car-seat.org is a website with lots of helpful members, people who can figure out what infant seat is going to install most easily in your car, awesome stuff like that. I'd want to get that right above anything else, as it is very easy to do car safety wrong.
My personal rule is buy everything used except your breast pump and car seat.
Equipment that I think is good to have - bassinet, changing table, swing, stroller and sling (if you find your choices overwhelming just get an Ergo and don't start researching slings, there are a ton of options. If you DO want to research sling I'm glad to help, though!).
Buy clothes and diapers in a variety of sizes. Keep the tags on any newborn stuff because you might want to return it if your baby is large or even just long.
You don't need the boppy (breastfeeding pillow) or the sleep sack (it's a wearable blanket) but they can be nice to have.
I tried to keep this as simple as possible but the truth is, these are just my preferences and your parenting style may lead you to totally different conclusions
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Hey there... I found a checklist for you to check out.... I hope this helps!!
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/12/what-will-my-baby-really-need-a-new-parents-checklist/0 -
Oooh, and grab one of those baby first aid kids with the thermometer, baby tylenol etc... they always have their weirdest symptoms in the middle of the night.0
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Hey there... I found a checklist for you to check out.... I hope this helps!!
http://www.janetlansbury.com/2010/12/what-will-my-baby-really-need-a-new-parents-checklist/
I like that list!!! We're pretty minimalistic over here and basically have all hand me downs so far. I am skipping the changing table in favor of a changing pad (the big molded kind) that we can put on the spare bed that is staying in the nursery, or wherever we want to move it.
Our friends have been generous with both advice and hand me downs. The "must haves" according to them are:
--several receiving blankets/burp rags/etc... Many said they used tons of these for everything from cleaning up diaper blowouts and spit up to a quick cover on the car seat or changing pad to a game of peek-a-boo.
--first aid stuff.
--clothing and diapers (if using cloth like we are) depends on how much laundry you think you will do.
--car seat (a must have for our suburban life)
--pack & play
--an on-the-go changing pad, wipes container, etc... to make any bag a diaper bag
There are lots of things that are "must haves" but not necessarily right away. We're having a winter baby so long walks in the stroller aren't likely for a few months (we're getting one before baby comes, but I'm just saying we don't HAVE TO have it right away). Same thing with a high chair (we're leaning towards a booster type chair since a bright monstrosity doesn't exactly match our household décor, plus this way we can bring it to on our travels), toys, etc....
I'd suggest going to whatever store you like (Target, Buy Buy Baby, Babies r Us, etc...) and registering. Even if you're not having a shower you'll get some goodies and a book of their idea of what you might need. Like us, you can go thru and judge it, declaring "unnecessary" to everything, but no doubt you'll learn a few things too. Plus they generally give you a nice coupon/discount to buy stuff off your registry closer to the due date. In the meantime, hit up garage sales, church sales, whatever and find yourself some bargains. My town has a facebook page with "for sale" stuff and often times there are lots of 30+ pcs of infant clothing for like $10, strollers for $15, etc...
I've been told that my lifestyle--not retailers--should dictate what I need and I couldn't agree more. Remember, too, that we've been having and raising babies forever now and most of the things on the market today are supposed to "make things easier" and are not at all necessity.0 -
I don't have any suggestions, but I feel the same way you do. We are also in the process of looking for houses (hopefully to move before baby) and I really procrastinating getting baby stuff when we don't have a house yet!
These suggestions are great.0 -
I like to think of it in terms of meeting specific needs. Baby needs:
- A safe place to sleep. Crib, bassinet, playpen, side-sleeper, or bed-sharing (if you follow the rules for safe sleeping: http://cosleeping.nd.edu/safe-co-sleeping-guidelines/) are all acceptable options. Bedding should be light, no pillows or stuffed animals, with sheets fitting snugly on the mattress. I have practiced bed-sharing with all of my babies, so I don't buy anything for this.
- Something to eat. If you plan to formula feed, you will need formula and bottles at a minimum. If you breastfeed and plan to pump, you need a good pump (cheap pumps are a waste of money) and bottles. Personally, I have always breastfed and not used bottles at all, so I don't buy anything for this.
- Some way to deal with pottying. Unless you are practicing elimination communication, that means you need diapers and wipes, either cloth or disposable. If you use cloth, you also need some way to wash them, like a diaper bucket and appropriate laundry detergent. I like disposables.
- Some way to keep warm. This usually translates to clothing and blankets, and depends on where you live and what time of year your baby will be born. I live in a very warm climate and plan to wear my baby most of the time (so sharing bodyheat), so even though I'm having a winter baby, I'm only buying onesies, socks, hats, and some light receiving blankets. If you live in a much colder climate, you should consider long sleeves, layering clothes (like a onesie underneath footie pjs), jackets, or snowsuits.
- Some way to get clean. Some people like the traditional plastic baby bathtub, which you put in your bathtub and fill with water. There are also soft inserts that you can place in the kitchen sink for bathing baby. Or you can just take the baby into the bath with you. Personally, I like to shower with my baby, so I bought a mesh water ring sling: http://www.etsy.com/listing/54337320/ring-sling-baby-carrier-water-mesh?ref=shop_home_active that helps me hold the baby in the shower. The sling is definitely not a necessity, but I like it.
- A car seat. It's not really "meeting a need," but if you ever plan to put your baby in a car, it's an absolute necessity. Personally, I prefer a convertible car seat (which can be used for a newborn all the way through toddler, but can't be taken out of the car and carried around with baby strapped in) rather than the traditional infant bucket seat. A lot of people find it convenient to be able to get baby in and out of the car, and carry them around, without having to take them out of the car seat, but I find bucket seats heavy and awkward, and I HATE carrying them.
Then there are things that are more like "desires" that parents have, for example:
- An easier way to transport baby from place to place, or carry baby around. I think the two main options are strollers and baby carriers, and there are lots of options for both. Some people have both, and use them for different things. Personally, I like to wear my baby, and I have three different types of carriers, in addition to the one for the shower. I have a simple ring sling (a simple and very adjustable cloth carrier that goes over one shoulder), a mei tai (a padded piece of cloth with long straps that you use to strap the baby on either in front or on your back), and a wrap (a very versatile carrier made from a long piece of cloth that you wrap around yourself and the baby, which has kind of a steep learning curve). I like baby carriers because I can also use them to carry baby around the house so I'm not stuck holding a fussy baby who doesn't want to be put down.
- A place to put baby down, or a way to make holding baby easier. There are LOTS of options: swings, bouncy seats, playmats. Boppi pillows help you prop baby up while feeding, and you can lay baby in it (on the floor, with supervision). The problem is that not every baby actually *likes* all of these things; in fact babies can be very picky about where they are willing to be put down. If you want to try a swing or bouncy seat or whatnot, the best thing is to either go used, or borrow something from a friend and try it out first. Don't spend a lot of money on anything for setting your baby down until you are SURE she likes it! Personally, I've pretty much given up on the idea of putting my baby down if it isn't naptime because none of my babies liked ANYTHING I tried, so I'm not bothering to get any of these things. I have my baby carriers, and I just plan to wear my baby around the house during the day.
- A way to carry baby's stuff around. If you spend a lot of time out of the house, you'll probably want a nice diaper bag. There are lots of options ranging from stylish to cutsey, expensive to cheap, big with lots of pockets to small and simple. I keep a fully stocked diaper bag in the car (with lots of diapers and wipes, plus extra clothes), and carry a diaper clutch in my purse. A diaper clutch is basically a diaper changing pad with pockets for diapers and wipes that folds up into a small clutch.0 -
I felt the same way with my first.. I remember registering at Babies R Us and seeing their little checklist of things you "need" for a baby and I wanted to pass out.
Things that are a MUST HAVE for me:
1.) Car Seat.
2.) First aid/health - thermometer, baby acetominophen, baby orajel, cotton swabs (belly button and ear), nail clippers for the future, etc.
3.) Bassinet - I pushed my first throughout the house in this thing when my body would start to ache from carrying her around all day. She slept, played and hung out in it. Best hand-me-down I had received. She never slept in my room, nor will this one, so I didn't have a need for a pack and play -- she slept in her crib at night and the bassinet during the day when I was awake.
4.) Diapers - If you are going with cloth, you need to decide how much laundry you plan on doing. If you are doing disposable, I would buy one box of "Newborn" size diapers and then move to size 1. OH, and diaper rash cream. Oh, yes.
5.) Clothing - Ok, my first LIVED in these sleep bag things (we obviously didn't get out much, haha). She slept in them, she hung around the house in them and they were the best things of all time when it came to changing. No buttons in the night -- YESSSS. Other than that, I have about 3 onesies, some soft pants (winter baby this time!), 3 sleep and plays, socks and MITTENS (babies have sharp little nails that will leave scratches on them and since you cannot cut their nails right away, you have to cover them up).
6.) Bottles/Breast pump - whichever way you go, make sure you have one of these! If you pump, make sure you have storage bags/bottles, as well. If you are planning on doing formula, you will need lots of this.
7.) Receiving blankets/snuggle blanket - When my daughter was born and I was taking her home for the very first time, the carseat was FAR too large for her so I had to use some blankets to "prop" her up and keep her in position.
8.) Somewhere to sleep -- whether it's a bassinet, pack and play or crib, the baby will need somewhere to sleep.
9.) Baby shampoo - I used this for both the hair and body.
Diaper bag? Psh, backpack. My arms were sore as all get out from an actual bag and one of the backpacks I had laying around was PERFECT. Just get one of those little "to go" changing pads and wipes containers to throw in and you're golden.
Window shades? Nah, I used blankets. Sure, I looked a little trashy but I was a broke, single mom trying to finish up her degree.
I never used burp rags or anything... I just used regular rags or towels.
I am a HUGE fan of zipper sleep and plays -- it's so much easier for changing instead of having to do a million buttons....especially in the night when the sleep bags were in the wash. Yikes.
I didn't buy a baby bathtub. I gave my baby a bath in my tub using a little chair thing. I'll post a link of an example.
99% of everything I have, or had for my first, is from Craigslist, garage sales or hand-me-downs from my generous friends/family members.
In the future:
1.) High chair/booster seat -- I preferred booster seat so the baby was "at the table" with the family. I'm weird like that.
2.) Stroller - Getting the baby outside to look at the world is comforting to them and you.
3.) Baby carrier - Ergobaby is my preference and while it's pricey, it's sooooooooo good on your back (at least for me it was compared to others I had tried).
4.) Food teether - OH MY GOSH. My daughter was obsessed with this.
Food teether:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=13193088&fromRegistryNumber=51125216&product_skn=878885
Sleep bag:
http://www.carters.com/carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play/V_127-840.html?cgid=carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play#navID=header&start=6&cgid=carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play
Sleep and Play:
http://www.carters.com/carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play/V_115A100.html?cgid=carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play#navID=header&start=4&cgid=carters-baby-neutral-sleep-and-play
Baby Bather:
http://www.toysrus.com/product/index.jsp?productId=17886536&cp=2255957.2273443.4392756.2256088.2256094&parentPage=family
Reason for editing: I was mortified by my elementary spelling errors.0 -
I'm on baby #5 and have learned that babies really need very little. Clothes, nappies and a blanket are really the only 'musts'. Instead of a changing table or mat I use a thickly folded towel, as it absorbs messes and is easily washable. Instead of a moses basket or bassinet I've used a large rectangular laundry basket, with another thickly folded towel in the bottom. I can move it around the house with me and baby stays comfy. Instead of buying a car seat for the ride home we're borrowing one off of family as I don't drive and rarely need to be in a car. Either get a baby carrier/sling or a pushchair/buggy/pram, often a sling will do for tiny ones for a few months while you save for a buggy. Neither of these have to be brand new either, check second hand sites and ebay for bargains. My cot cost me about $15 off of ebay this time. Healthcare products you can also buy as and when you need them, the only one I would keep in the house is infant liquid paracetamol for bringing down a fever. If your child is burning up you rarely need a thermometer to know that they're too hot, so it's not a 'must'. For the first few months baby rarely gets dirty so a once over with a cloth or sponge or 'top and tail' is often sufficient to keep them clean, maybe with a baby all-over use liquid soap/shampoo. I once had a baby bath, but only used it twice as I found it a pain to fill and empty, so I use a bath insert/support for a regular bathtub when they're ready for it. And if you feed the child yourself you need nothing more initially. That's it.0
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Typically I don't buy newborn stuff (diapers or clothing).
Baby clothes - because you get SO much of it with a baby shower that you never end up using or the baby wears once and you have so many clothes, they never wear it again. The ONLY exception to my newborn clothing rule is buying the "home from hospital" outfit. You want something special to keep and remember them the day you took them home.
Diapers - Newborn diapers don't last long size wise, so you end up with a pack of diapers (or two) that you can't use and end up donating or giving to others. They are expensive! Opt for buying later sizes (3-6 mo, 6-9 mo) if you want to stock up.
I also refuse to buy lotions, thermometers, shampoos, powders, etc until after the shower. I'm not kidding when I say that I still have unopened lotion from my daughter's shower almost 9 years ago. It seems to be the "go to" gift when people don't know what to get you.
I use cloth diapers as burp rags. They're more absorbant than official "burp rags" you can buy. They do come in patterns if you don't want the standard white.0 -
thank you all for the advice. I live far from family and friends, so dont expect a shower. The advice is really great. Makes me feel a bit at ease. Any more ideas is appreciated.0
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I never had a changing table, I felt like it was a waste of space. Plus I tend to change my baby wherever I am so I kept a box in each main room with a few diapers, wipes, and a burp cloth to change them on. I would change them on the floor, bed, couch, anywhere without having to go to a specific place just to change a diaper on a table that will be useless in 2 years...
Diapers, wipes, food and clothes are all a baby truly needs. I used a pack and play for sleep, play, etc. Baby doesnt care they are not in a fancy crib or bassinet or basket.0 -
I stumbled across this today and thought it was a nice list (and well-written too). Don't forget about us mom's (there's a little list for us too).
http://www.rookiemoms.com/shopping-registry/0 -
I wonder if it's because I cloth diaper but I love my changing table. It's been much more useful to me than a stroller or crib (although any central diapering set up would do, but it would look a lot like a changing table in my opinion).0
