14 worst types of cockblocks

MissingMinnesota · October 2013

http://elitedaily.com/humor/the-15-worst-types-of-cockblocks-this-cockblocktober/

The 14 Worst Types Of Cockblocks This ‘Cockblocktober’

LOL Lists • Tyler Gildin Oct 11, 11:11am

The month of October is known for many things, like Halloween, Breast Cancer Awareness Month, the first official month of fall…but I bet many of you don’t know the true significance of the tenth month of the year — it’s also Cockblocktober.
For those of you unfamiliar with what cockblocking is (liars!), it’s when one dude prevents another dude’s chances of getting with a girl. A.K.A it’s the number one sin of brotherhood and pretty much the most un-bro thing any guy could ever do. But cockblocking is not just a male on male crime, anyone or anything can be a potential cockblock.
This Cockblocktober, we’d like to help our fellow brethren out by pointing out the biggest obstacles in their way. Here are the 14 worst types of cockblocks this Cockblocktober:

The Authoritative Cockblock
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This is when some outside force steps in and doesn’t allow you to get your nut off. Whether it’s the cops, a bouncer at a club or an RA who cares way too much about his job (you know who you are Phillip!), these people with authority manage to put you in a position in which the only action you’re getting that night is from your hand.

The Father-Daughter Cockblock
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There’s nothing tougher for a dude to deal with than a father who doesn’t approve. No father wants to let his baby girl be deflowered, and especially by someone he doesn’t approve of. A father’s cockblockage can be the most detrimental to any bro.

The Third Wheel Cockblock
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Harry Potter is the classic example of the third-wheeler; kid just won’t let Ron get his wizard on. He needed to back off and let Ron ride her like a Nimbus 2000, and make her get her Wingardium LeviOsa face on, like the dirty DumbleWhore that she is. Who cares if she contracts HogWarts?

The Big Brother Cockblock
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Finally, Ron gets even! The biggest difference between the Father-Daughter cockblock and the Big Brother cockblock, is that a father most likely won’t punch you in the face for sleeping with his daughter, a big brother will.

The Wasted Best Friend Cockblock
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This is your boy who’s just too sh*tfaced to allow you to do your thing. It’s not that he intentionally doesn’t want you to get laid, he’s just too f*cked up to realize he’s committing the cardinal sin.

The Ex-Boyfriend Who Won’t Go Away Cockblock
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Probably the least liked of them all, the ex-boyfriend cockblock is so frustrating because the kid brings a whole bunch of baggage to the table. He’s clearly been with the girl before, so he has a history, but he won’t leave it in the past.
He just keeps popping up and popping up, practically mind-f*cking his ex into not getting with anyone else. You’ve already got yours, bro! Your rent is up! Move over and let someone else move in for a while.

The Competition Cockblock
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This occurs when more than one male is fighting for the flower of the same lady. Guys can get pretty competitive, especially when it comes to fighting over women. Things can get pretty ugly at times, but hey — let the best man win.

The Out-Of-Towner Cockblock

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This is when you have someone staying with you for the weekend, meaning they need to share the bed/living space. It’s fun during the day, hanging with them, but at night, unless they’re cool with watching you bang, your **** is out of commission for the weekend.

The Creepy Pet Cockblock
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It’s always great when you find a chick with a pet, except when you’re trying to bang. Some pets like to lurk around, making it extremely uncomfortable to get any action going. Whether they’re sick, want to get walked, peeing on the carpet or just straight up refusing to move, some pets, as cuddly as they may seem, are in fact enormous obstacles in **** conquests.

The Best Friend Cockblock
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This occurs when either your best friend or her best friend doesn’t want you two together. Whether it’s because of a bad history, or the fact that one of you is currently in a relationship, or just because they “don’t approve,” these best friends become your worst enemies when it comes to getting some action.

The Period Cockblock
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Nothing’s worse than when Aunt Flow is in town. Sure, we’ve all ran the red light once or twice before, but you have to be REALLY comfortable with her. Most likely, if you see red, your balls will be blue.

The No-Wingman Cockblock
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This is when your boys won’t go out with you, leaving you wingman-less. It’s not impossible, but it’s definitely difficult to score when you’re riding the solo train.

The Whisky-**** Cockblock
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This one’s pretty much all your fault.

The Guy Who Slaps Your Girl In The Face Cockblock
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Don’t you hate when that happens!? Cockblock and drop it!