18 months later...still hate my body. Need support!

Hi Ladies,

I have two kids (3.5 and 18 months). I'm 5'4 and was 164 lbs before I got pregnant with my first. I got back down to 164lbs and got pregnant with my second. I've been back to 164 lbs for about a year now. I knew I was overweight before I had kids but it just looked differently. My stomach has the nice c-section flap going on now and seems to still push out like I'm pregnant.

I have a hard time getting motiviated to lose the 20lbs I'd like to because I know my belly will never look good again. I don't feel I look good in any clothing because I can see the pouch of skin/fat under my jeans in everything I wear.

About 2 months ago, I start the Insanity program at 6AM every day. It was the hardest thing I've ever done physically. I didn't change my diet at all (which wasn't much of a diet). I ate whatever but my weight stayed the same. I figured if I wasn't gaining before, adding that extreme exercise would help me lose. WRONG! I gained 5 lbs. I look better in other areas of my body but my stomache still looks huge and gross. This does not motivate me to eat right because I don't feel I'll ever look good again.

Has anyone else been where I am right now? Any advice on how to get over it and motivated to lose 15-20lbs.

Replies

  • Cheeky_and_Geeky
    Cheeky_and_Geeky Posts: 984 Member
    In July, I weighed 167lbs & now I weigh 138lbs. Dieting is the key to weight loss. I was exercising harder without dieting (probably ate a bit more) & gained. Strength training (sit ups, leg raises, bicycle crunches, planks, pilates, etc) will help shape your stomach. Even after losing all that weight, I still have a pouch of skin & fat on my stomach as well as 8 incisions from losing gallbladder @ 5 months pregnant then losing appendix 2 weeks after childbirth & a ton of stretch marks. I never expected that any of my body would be flat anymore, I'm losing the weight for health reaons. No I'll never be able to wear a bikini, but I am healthy enough to be active with my kiddo, not wearing plus sized clothes anymore, and not feel like an outsider. Most women have a pouch & the c section scar will likely never fade completely, you have to learn to love your body & not compare yourself to anyone or even what you looked before you had kids. Good luck!
  • kgerm317
    kgerm317 Posts: 191 Member
    Eating at a deficit is absolutely the key to losing weight. Even if you don't exercise, you can lose.
    My best suggestion to lose weight AND tone your tummy (based on my experiences. I am not a doctor or professional):
    -Go to www.iifym.com and figure out your TDEE- 20% and start eating that.
    -Get a nice mix of cardio and strength. Jillian Michael's has some amazing programs.
    -Eat plenty of protein.
    -Attitude is everything. Your tummy may never be the same as it was before kiddos. But you can certainly be HEALTHIER, STRONGER and more FIT than you were.
    -Set short-term goals for yourself.
    -TAKE MEASUREMENTS and PICTURES!

    If you want to feel better about yourself, the first step is to accept that your body is different than it was before kids. OF COURSE IT IS. You've created two lives! Two miracles! No way will your body (or your heart) ever be the same. And if you can create life, what on Earth makes you think there's something you can't do?!!

    YOU CAN DO WHATEVER YOU SET YOUR MIND TO. :flowerforyou:
  • Thanks for the support/motivation! For some reason I am really struggling with sticking to a diet. I keep trying and getting off track very easily. I have a super supportive husband but for whatever reason I just can't get with it right now. I've got myself down to 137 on other weight loss programs in the past. So I know I can do it, it was just a lot easier without kids when cereal for dinner was an option, haha! I thought I'd try working out instead but that definitely did not work. I like that I feel/look better but overall it's the numbers on the scale that I want to see go down. I know one major problem I have...work. I sit all day and everyone has candy bowls and there is a cafeteria and all kids of temptations with leftover meeting foods. Stress and boredom get the better of me.
  • addicted2numbers
    addicted2numbers Posts: 83 Member
    I have this same problem. I have flab on my arms, thighs, and belly is the worst. My thighs and arms already are toning up and I am just about to finish week 3 of insanity. I have the awful skin flap after a c section and high weight loss but the feeling of being healthy is amazing. Having more strength and energy is great. And I like to keep the hope that I can still improve my belly so never give up. :)
  • jbuc07
    jbuc07 Posts: 914 Member
    My youngest is 20m. So I'm with you. I was overweight before I got pregnant. I've lost all my "baby" weight, but now I struggle to lose all the rest. It's hard. I like to eat. I don't like to work out, and yet, I look at my body and wonder WHY it's not changing, and if I'll ever look the way I want to. I'm currently doing JM 30 Day Shred. It's hard. Well, for me LOL. I've also never made it past level one. Today will be day 7. As much as I hate it, it's making me eat better. I had those TOM cravings yesterday, gave in, and ate like a PIG. Went way over calories, and then worked out. It sucked, I wanted to puke. But I did it, and (hopefully) learned my lesson.

    Set a goal for yourself. Mine is completing this shred. What's yours? Feel free to add me if you'd like. I know how hard this can be.