"Pinkwashing" Children's books

fbmandy55

One of my favorite blogs, "Mom's who drink and swear", posted a rant in response to a NY Times article from a mom who "pink-washes" stories she reads her children to make them childproof. The story in the article is Harry Potter, she changes the death of Harry's parents and some of the consequences to the trio's actions when they bend or break rules.

http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2013/11/08/child-proofing-harry-potter/?_r=1&

As a Harry Potter fan, this infuriates me. She is raising her children on her own personal version of Harry Potter. If she doesn't like the story or doesn't think it is age appropriate, why not wait until they are older or write a damn book herself? To me, this seems like a huge insult to authors, especially of books like Harry Potter, that we are sure to call a classic someday...


Changing the death of Harry's parents not only defeats the majority of the series but also prevents her children from understanding death, the inevitable, in a painless way. When a relative dies, is she going to tell them a lie or try to make them understand something that they have no exposure to? Changing the consequences of the actions of Harry, is she teaching her kids to always do as told and to never be a hero?

Would any of you agree with this mom? Disagree?

adrian_indy

Yeah, pretty lame. It's her decision and all, but I really have never understood the point of sheltering children to such a degree. But then again, I know that I am in the minority when it comes to parenting styles. My sons, 5 and 3 have already began asking me the life and death questions and the "what do these do" while pointing to his testicles. I just tell them. I don't break out schematics or anything and try to keep the technical stuff to more their level....but I told him "when you get older, your testes make a liquid that helps women make babies". And what happened? Not much...he just made a funny face, squealed and ran away. It was really funny. My kids have also seen a pair of...brace yourselves....boobies on the TV. We just all laughed. It was no big deal. I feel like too many parents just want to shy away from hard issues with their children, but the parents need to know that they are the ones making it hard.

k8blujay2

OH!!!! I saw a blog on Shine about childproofing books, but I didn't read it... so this must be what it's referencing.

Meh, I don't plan on doing it for my kids... the story is written the way it is for a reason. But then I am probably not going to read or allow them to read certian stories until I know they can handle them or the answers to the questions they have.

TheRoadDog

Welcom to the "New and Improved" Poltically Correct America.

Better that they be inside with Mommy, than being outside playing "Cowboys and Indians" and undermining the plight of the Native American or some other dastardly past time.

marsellient

Being well past the child rearing age, and retired from teaching, I've never heard of such a thing. I don't understand why you'd bother with a book if you didn't like what was in it. Could this be a parent who doesn't like what's in it, but doesn't have the gumption to say, "No, I don't approve of the content, and we aren't going to read that book right now"?
I find this interesting, because I grew up with a very religious mother who read everything, and at age 86, still does. We were encouraged to do the same. She thinks everyone should make up their own mind and be secure enough in their beliefs that a book won't corrupt them.

castadiva

Sounds like helicopter parenting gone mad to me.

Dragonwolf

While I don't disagree with the sentiment that Harry probably should have been punished for disobeying the order to not fly, it's obviously not a black and white issue (he did it because Draco had taken the remembral and thrown it; Harry disobeyed so that is now-injured friend wouldn't lose a keepsake). There's also the fact that McGonagall probably didn't know about the order to not fly, nor was it entirely her place to punish anyone who disobeyed, anyway (at least not without consulting the professor that was in charge at the time). And it's not like the kids never get punished for anything. (At least in the movies) there are umpteen times where they're punished through the point system, and their entire house gets docked points. They often get "cancelled out" due to the reason for breaking a rule ("you broke this rule, so you get docked 50 points, but you saved the lives of everyone in Hogwarts, so we're awarding you 50 points for that"). Again, it's not black and white, and that's part of what makes the Harry Potter series so good.

And why it's not a series for a 5 year old to begin with.

I'm all for saying "my child isn't ready for this book yet." Just like my mom wouldn't let me watch PG-13 (and later, R) movies when I was a kid, at least until she watched them, first, I wouldn't let my child read a book or see a movie that I think they're not ready for. I'm not going to "pinkwash" something. My son's not ready for Tom Sawyer, Huck Finn, or Old Yeller, either, but that doesn't mean I'm going to read it to him and just change the issues of racism in Tom Sawyer/Huck Finn, or gloss over the fact that they had to put Old Yeller down. I'm just not going to read those books to him until he at least has the capacity to understand things like death or racism, and that he can understand the concept that certain things used to be acceptable, but aren't today, and that certain books are valuable because they reflect the time period in which they were written. And when he does read these books, I'm all for putting the concepts in context and in general, talking about the scene (ie - Voldemort tried to kill Harry out of fear that Harry would be able to stop him in the future, and being "evil" and power-hungry, Voldemort wanted to prevent that).

I am curious, though, what the author of that article would do with regards to the Bible or other such sacred text that has just as many complex and gray topics throughout it and yet is often regarded as something that everyone should read from the time they learn how (the plague of the Egyptian firstborns, anyone?).

Bahet

Team Adrian. If my kids ask a question I answer them honestly. If they are old enough to read a book they can read it. I might issue some warning if I think it might be scary or racy but it's never been an issue. A few years ago my youngest and I were watching TV when a Cialis commercial came on. He asked "What's 'erectile dysfunction' mean?" I told him. He said "DUDE! That is MESSED UP!" We still laugh about that one.

richardheath

Ugh!

I can't help but think that poor parent has it all totally backwards!

My first problem here is that she got the term "pinkwashing" from Pinkalicious! Where the girl had to eat green veggies because she had eaten too many pink cupcakes and turned pink. Well, eating the green veggies was in part punishment. But, because this lady's kid like veggies, she uses different verbs to describe them. She takes the punishment, and turns it into a reward. And yet, she says that "[a]ccepting the consequences of one’s actions is a theme in our house". Well, unless you are Pinkalicious, I guess.

She is also going to run into trouble as she tries to remember the "lies" she has told.

Plus, she's going to have to explain to her kid in a few years why she changed the stories.

Plus... she's doing it all wrong. Her kid (5 yo) may not be reading along with Harry Potter yet, but he may well be with Pinkalicious, or will be soon. I found getting my kids to read books they know well a good way to boost their confidence. But what is this little guy going to do when he tries to read "yucky" as "yummy"? It is going to confuse him!

Meh. Don't lie to your kids. Don't change stories. Use the bits you don't like to start a discussion, but don't mess with the books!

UsedToBeHusky

Well... depending on the age of the kids, I'm not sure introducing children to the concept of death would really prepare them for it if something happened suddenly to someone they are close to.

I do, however, feel like she is over-sheltering these kids. I'm sure this isn't the only instance where she has "pinkwashed" something to protect them from the horrors and indignities of the world. This attitude is sure to cause them some serious psychological and emotional development issues in the long run.

As for her changing the book, I'm not a big fan of Harry Potter. It's an acceptable story, but I found it to be a boorish read. However, it has earned its place as a literary icon, and changing it is highly inappropriate. If you don't want your kids to read it, then don't allow it.

Curiously, this makes me ponder... back when schools were trying to ban books like Tom Sawyer for swear words like "damn," how different would that have played out if they just requested a re-publishing with the word replaced with "darn". How would you all feel with a re-write as opposed to banning a book entirely?

Dragonwolf

However, it has earned its place as a literary icon, and changing it is highly inappropriate. If you don't want your kids to read it, then don't allow it.

Curiously, this makes me ponder... back when schools were trying to ban books like Tom Sawyer for swear words like "damn," how different would that have played out if they just requested a re-publishing with the word replaced with "darn". How would you all feel with a re-write as opposed to banning a book entirely?

Rewriting is a slippery slope, though, and has a very much 1984 ring to it. I mean, if you can rewrite it to edit out "damn," why not rewrite it and remove the racist references? Let's make Fahrenheit 451 about rewriting books, instead of burning them!

The opinion of the masses is a finicky beast. There was a time when the Mona Lisa, or showing one's ankles, were racy, when The Beatles and Elvis were sexual icons. Literature (and art in general) shouldn't have to be forced to comply with people's current squeamishness.

vim_n_vigor

I'm not sure that I can say I haven't been guilty of something like this, but for different reasons. My kids have a book that they love the pictures, but the story, not so much. Over time, they made up their own story and that is how I have been telling it to them for years.

When it comes to Harry Potter, my 7 year old really wanted to start reading them. I talked to him about what happens in the books, and I made him watch certain parts of the movies first. He was ready to read them and started. He is reading them very slowly and he talks to me about what is happening in the books as he reads them. My 5 year old is not at all ready for the themes in the books or movies and I tell him that. I'm not going to change words and make up stuff so they aren't scared and don't get their feelings hurt.

When it comes to Tom Sawyer and other 'banned' books, I feel like we are really missing an opportunity to teach our children. Books from different historic periods can teach kids more about what life was really like during those times than any text book. Yes, history is full of horrible things that people said and did. Let them learn about it. It's now ok to have our kids reading very sexually charged books in school, but take a book from a time when '******' was an acceptable word, or where someone says 'damn', or someone dies, and we have an uproar. How can a child learn why '******' is such a horrible thing to say without context? Do we need to be mindful of the ages of the children as they are studying these topics? Of course.

fbmandy55

Curiously, this makes me ponder... back when schools were trying to ban books like Tom Sawyer for swear words like "damn," how different would that have played out if they just requested a re-publishing with the word replaced with "darn". How would you all feel with a re-write as opposed to banning a book entirely?

I feel like substituting curse words is acceptable, though I personally wouldn't. Then again, I would also let my child use a curse word if reading it aloud in a book but then again, he knows that it's not appropriate to use any other time. Even when I read the Harry Potter books, I made up words for those I could not pronounce in my head...ad an adult. :laugh:

I oppose a rewrite AND banning of such books, as I feel parental responsibility should be placed back on the parents, to decide what is appropriate to read or not read. One may suggest a rating system such as used on movies and video games, which saddens me since common sense is a rarity these days.

UsedToBeHusky

Curiously, this makes me ponder... back when schools were trying to ban books like Tom Sawyer for swear words like "damn," how different would that have played out if they just requested a re-publishing with the word replaced with "darn". How would you all feel with a re-write as opposed to banning a book entirely?

I feel like substituting curse words is acceptable, though I personally wouldn't. Then again, I would also let my child use a curse word if reading it aloud in a book but then again, he knows that it's not appropriate to use any other time. Even when I read the Harry Potter books, I made up words for those I could not pronounce in my head...ad an adult. :laugh:

I oppose a rewrite AND banning of such books, as I feel parental responsibility should be placed back on the parents, to decide what is appropriate to read or not read. One may suggest a rating system such as used on movies and video games, which saddens me since common sense is a rarity these days.

I was very sheltered as a child, but not from things like scary movies (not sure mom's logic on that one). But many things were kept from me entirely for various reasons. As such, I did many things out of curiosity, and it led to some behaviors that I later in life deeply regretted.

As a parent, I have taken a different approach. I feel like, as a parent, I am not going to be able to stop the world from exposing my children to certain things. Instead, I've tried to keep open communication with my children. I have always answered all of their questions, though admittedly, there are times when I just had to be honest and tell them that I couldn't answer their question because I didn't know the answer.

The revelation about Santa and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy were delivered before school started. Discussions about sex, genitalia, their purpose, and what is appropriate and inappropriate with that regard was given starting at school age. Discussions about death began in toddler-hood because my father passed away when I was three, and I had to explain to them where there grandfather was and why they would never know him in their lifetimes. I've also informed them about most of my past. All the mistakes I made, the reprecussions that I had to face, and how things would have been different if I had made different choices. All of this was discussed, in an age-appropriate manner, since they were both very small.

I feel like the only way a child can be prepared for what the world dishes is out is if the parents prepare them for it, not shelter them from it. And parents have to do that before the world can get the chance, therefore, early on.

It has worked well for me. I have a teenager who is not out having sex, drinking alcohol, doing drugs, and is preparing for the future. Basically, she is doing NONE of the things that I was doing at her age. Of course, I am blessed. My children are gifted and can have intelligent conversations with adults. They are capable of grasping advanced concepts. I have had a bit of a finger-wagging from the psychologist because he believes that they aren't emotionally ready for some of the things I have shared with them in discussions. But thus far, my parenting methods haven't failed me.

Everyone takes a different approach. Most people believe that you have to protect the children from the world, and in the effort, lose sight of preparing them to enter it.

I guess what I'm saying is, I had no concerns about my children reading Harry Potter. My oldest did get her hands on the Girl with the Dragon Tattoo when she was about 11-yo, but I knew nothing about it and assumed it was young reader. When my sister informed me of its content, I did take it away from her, but I explained to her why I was taking it away from her and what type of content that it contained that I was concerned with. I did agree to allow her to read it when she was a bit older.

Koldnomore

I wouldn't agree with re-writing the whole story but I don't think there is anything wrong with skipping all the gory details and instead just shortening things to say "they fought" instead of describing every move and action to a young child who may not understand it. If you have to change everything then why even bother to read it?