Gender Ultrasound on Monday!

spunkychelsea

So excited!

I'll only be 15 weeks, but we're paying for a private scan early to just find out the gender - only $50 and we did it with our other two kids as something fun. Then we still have our 20 week anomaly scan to confirm!

We had a son, then a daughter. Hoping for another boy! Eeek!! 4 days! Can't wait!

stephysd

Very exciting!! I wish that was an option around here. It's driving me crazy not knowing what we are having. Hope your little nugget cooperates so you can get a good view and find out.

qhiggins86

How fun! You're a lucky girl... I can't convince my husband to spend that $50 to find out sooner, so I'm sentenced to wait until Christmas Eve to find out the gender! :sad:

OtiWanKenobi

How exciting! Keep us posted on your results!

I won't find out till the day after Xmas... I figure it'll be an awesome Xmas gift!!! :bigsmile:

tiggerhammon

I will be living vicariously through all of you until my time comes (not until early February.)
So excited for you!

spunkychelsea

Well, baby cooperated and we're having another girl. I am very disappointed. I was convinced it was a boy and so so wanted a boy. I always said I'd rather have 3 boys and no girls if it came down to it. My son was born in June and so a May baby boy would have been perfect for all his old clothes. Now I'm having another girl. I am happy she still looks healthy and she was active and gave us several different shots. I have no hope of her changing gender by our 20 week ultrasound in a month. My family made things so much worse. My parents and brother went with us. My brother had never been to one and throught it was very cool. My mom said before going in that she was "worried" if it was another girl we'd try for a fourth...Because babies are so bad? We're financially stable and have a loving home, so I have no clue what her problem is. She also said she's been saying boy to keep me happy and stable but in her heart she knows it's a girl. My dad called girl from day 1. We go to the waiting room to wait for the pics and my dad looks at me and says "I'm sorry. I was right." I start crying and at least he tries to be comforting. My mother tries to be all comforting but she hasn't been supportive this whole time. She hasn't really been anti baby. But when I was pregnant with my second, my daughter, and I told her she asked fi we were happy about it. Um, yes, we were trying for a second child. Told her I was pregnant with 3rd? Her first words "Are you ok" Again, yes, we were trying for this one too. So she tries to be all fake comforting and demanding tissues from anyone within ear shot. I wish they hadn't been there. Dad at least was nice afterwards. They came over to my house afterwards because we were going to eat dinner, we decided we didn't want dinner (big lunch no one was hungry) and then we're talking and fine and I'm showing off the pics and I offer for us to play games (we like board games and my brother isn't in town often) and she instead asks if we'd rather them leave so I can process the information with my family. WTF? We were all getting along fine, no one was upset. So I left the room to cry more. Seriously? I'm trying to cope with my imaginings of 2 boys being destroyed and act normal so I can visit with my brother while he's here and you keep offering to leave. Then she has the nerve to hug me and kiss my stomach when she leaves. Like she's all happy and supportive. I wish they would have just left.

Oh well. My husband and I talked girl names (which are impossible for us, we had the boy name picked out already though of course which I'll never use now because we are done - neither of us wants more and our house wouldn't fit another child) and I'm feeling better about it. But I'm not feeling better about how they reacted. It may not seem that bad (and honestly my dad was a smug jerk for about a minute and that's it) but with hormones and disappointment it was so not what I needed.

I guess end rant. I hope everyone else has a better time than I did!

qhiggins86

I'm sorry you're disappointed... I'm just having my first so I think I'll be happy either way the dice lands, but I know my older sister badly wanted a boy. She had 4 girls, and just had her 5th a month ago... she finally got her boy. My mom had the same attitude toward my sister as your mom does to you, except my sister is not well financially and her kids suffer because of it.

It's upsetting when parents can't just be supportive. I would be devastated if my mom had that attitude with me. ((hugs)) :flowerforyou: But congrats on your healthy little girl!

superhelga

I'm sorry you are so upset and feel let down by your family. That must incredibly difficult. Maybe they are just trying to be supportive, knowing you really wanted a boy, but are doing so in a very clumsy way.. Congratulation on having a healthy girl. I'm sure she will be awesome!

superhelga

Just please never let her or her sister know how badly you wanted her to be a boy.. That can really mess their confidence up. I'm talking from experience. Take care!

araromi2

There are people that would give almost anything to have a child. I don't think the sex of the child should matter.

TLCEsq

I just found out yesterday at 15 weeks that we're having a girl!

spunkychelsea

I want to start out by saying thank you for the encouraging/supportive comments. Even if you don't agree one can't help how one feels.

Yes, I'm sure I do sound ungrateful for being disappointed. I have friends that have gone through several rounds of IVF with no success and have given up on the hopes of having children. I would never share my feelings about this with them. I thought a mommy group of women that were already pregnant and hormonal would be a safe place to share my feelings and possibly understand where I'm coming from even if they don't agree. I will keep in mind to edit myself here too then.

I do not plan on giving my children issues regarding their sex or the sex that I desired at one point in my life as I know I love daughter just as she is. My mother has told me for 15 years what a difficult child I was due to being a girl, and how much easier my brother was. Going so far as to call me evil when I was a child because I misbehaved as children do. I never did drugs, I never drank alcohol that they didn't allow me to have, I didn't have sex before I got married, I didn't get in trouble at school, I had a 4.0 when I left high school and went onto to college and a successful career, yet I was never allowed to live down the fact that girls are harder or that I was difficult as a child because I was a girl. This is why I have such a complex about girls. My husband and I have talked at length to never let our girls feel the way my parents made me feel. To this day my mother still laughs and says she hopes that my daughters are just like me so I can experience what she went through. I am starting to think they are going to be less and less involved in my children's lives if they continue to make such remarks. I do not need them passing on my complex to them either.

I had honestly completely forgotten I even shared my feelings about this here. This was the only place I put my thoughts into writing. There is no shame in disappointment at some point. There will always be disappointment about something. Coming from experience no one has a perfect pregnancy and a perfect birth unless they are so optimistic not even pain can bother them. I wanted a boy with my first pregnancy and got him. There is still a weird feeling when your child is finally here. I wouldn't say a disappointment then either. But I read somewhere once your child is born the child you imagined dies. They will never be exactly as you imagine them. More often than not they will surpass your hopes/dreams/expectations and you will find yourself loving them more than you ever thought you could. There is nothing like becoming a parent. So judge away, I really don't care. Everyone will find themselves disappointed at some point and I hope you will find ways or people to comfort you.

KimberlyTG2

I really thought my first child was going to be a girl, and I was a little disappointing at the gender reveal sono. My niece had just had a little girl and had all the cute pink stuff. At the time I thought we wouldn't be able to have another child, the first was a surprise. So yea, I was a little disappointed. But like you say my son has surprised and amazed me. Even thou he can be a huge brat sometimes, he is so smart and so funny. Not sure what we are having this time but I would like to get the gender sono done over the holiday. I think if we have another boy it will disappoint others a little because they want us to "experience" a girl. I think 2 boys would be great ... we already have all the stuff:)

TLCEsq

I really thought my first child was going to be a girl, and I was a little disappointing at the gender reveal sono. My niece had just had a little girl and had all the cute pink stuff. At the time I thought we wouldn't be able to have another child, the first was a surprise. So yea, I was a little disappointed. But like you say my son has surprised and amazed me. Even thou he can be a huge brat sometimes, he is so smart and so funny. Not sure what we are having this time but I would like to get the gender sono done over the holiday. I think if we have another boy it will disappoint others a little because they want us to "experience" a girl. I think 2 boys would be great ... we already have all the stuff:)

I wanted two boys as well but they're pretty sure this one is a girl! Congrats on being pregnant again :-)

Like spunkychelsea, I have a complex about girls for a lot of the same reasons although my parents had all girls so there were no boys to compare me to. But my inlaws are constantly commenting now on hormones, and just wait till my daughter is a teenager, and all that kind of stuff. I try not to let it bother me but sometimes it does. I am not into all the frilly girl stuff and will raise my daughter however I see fit, so to heck with everyone else!

superhelga

Spunkychelsea. Gender-dissapointment is very common. I think most people don't talk about it, because as you say they are afraid to be judged. First time I was pregnant and found out it was a boy I was slightly bummed out too. I had these vivid ideas of what having a baby girl was like, I was sure I was having a daughter. But I didn't tell anybody.
I think you are brave to share your feelings, and they are totally legitimate. But I have to admit I came right to your thread from the thread of the woman who found that her fetus was no longer alive on the sonogram, and I found it more difficult to relate to your disappointment in that perspective. So as to sharing in a community with other pregnant women. I think we all are very supportive and respectful here, but we also represent a wide range of pregnancies and experiences. I just pray we all have healthy babies, because thats what matters in the end.