Boy or girl. Does it matter to your?

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superhelga
superhelga Posts: 68 Member
I had an early ultrasound and was told that we probably are having a girl. Having a boy already, that made me very exited. However, I'm pretty sure that if our 20 week scan shows its a boy , Ill be equally thrilled. There are things that make me exited about both having a boy or a girl.
But thinking more deeply about it. It really doesn't matter. Still. I could never be one of the people who wait til the baby is born to know.
I have no idea who this person is going to be, no matter what. The gender just tells me what clothes he/ she might wear and what toys will be marketed against him or her. I find society focus on gender in small children honestly very scary. Why are girls and boys portrayed and dressed so differently? Why on earth is it so hard to find gender neutral clothes?
Yes, I'm sure there are differences in behavior and preferences even from an early age, but its so weird how emphasized it is.
I'm probably a crazy hippie, but when I meet a little boy who loves nail polish and play with dolls it makes me really happy. Like the world is moving forward. If I have a girl, and she'd rather play with cars, Ill find it awesome.
However. I have to admit. One of the things that excites me about most likely having a girl is the cute outfits and the dolls. (my son is not interested) Yet, I'm terrified of my house becoming a jungle of pink princess thingies.
Guess I just really want to be all open, yet still have a lot of stereotypical ideas:)

How do you guys feel? Do you think having a girl or a boy makes a big difference? Do you have any preference to what you want, and why? I'm curious to hear your toughs..
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Replies

  • superhelga
    superhelga Posts: 68 Member
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    Hmm. guess I cant edit my headline typo..
  • lisapr123
    lisapr123 Posts: 863 Member
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    I'm delivering our kid next week, and we don't yet know the gender. And it really doesn't matter to us one way or the other.

    Overall, I agree with you on the marketing ploys and the excessive focus on gender roles.

    My mom wanted a girl soooo bad. The joke is, she got me. Having 2 older brothers I always tore off my dress in favor of a Star Wars t-shirt and corduroy pants. Maybe because we're a little bit older for first time parents (I'm 35, he's 38) we honestly feel we'd raise the kid basically the same regardless of gender. I recall an ex-boyfriend telling me he loved me because I could scream & curse and drink beer with the guys at a hockey game on Friday night, and enjoy a night at the opera on Saturday night. And it's one of the reasons I fell in love with my husband--he's much the same.

    On the one hand, I feel like girls show their personality sooner than boys do (just my observations from teaching & being around kids a lot) and their clothes are more fun--if they'll wear them! I also feel like it's more "acceptable" for a girl to be anything from a jock to a bookworm to a shy kid. So those are some "plusses" to a girl. But my heart says I want a boy. For stereotypical reasons. So I can take him fishing and camping and hunting (all things I did--as a girl). So he can pee off the back of the boat and we don't have to pull into a marina to use the washroom. So when he falls I can tell him to "man up" or "brush it off". And, yes, so I don't have to see pink princess stuff in excess in my house!

    I'm sure that next week, when I meet "Cletus the Fetus" as we've been referring to him/her....my heart will melt and I will fall in love regardless. I just hope we can stay on track with our "raise the same regardless of gender" goals.
  • miranda_mom
    miranda_mom Posts: 873 Member
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    My husband had a strong preference for a boy because we have a girl and then it would be "even". This was very weird to me but his sister was the same way (had two girls and a boy, very strongly preferred a boy). BTW, we are having a boy, she had a girl. I did not really care and could see advantages either way but I really, really wanted to know. I HATE surprises. A lot.
    My daughter plays with a lot of "boy" toys and we even occasionally buy her clothes from the boy's section if the mood strikes. I think society makes it easier for girls to cross gender lines than boys though.
    I don't like when people have expectations like "it's a boy so he's going to play football" or whatever. To me, that is putting too much pressure on a child. If he turns out to like football (or in my house, hockey, which is the only sport anyone has any interest in - and it's me, not hubs, by the way), great. If not, that is fine too.
    I think you're doing a great job trying to expose your children to lots of different things.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    This is going to sound strange from the minute I realized I was pregnant I knew it was a boy. It felt boy to me whatever that means.

    Our 2nd ultrasound the tech said it was boy, and I was ecstatic! So very happy to have a little boy.

    Now the next ultrasound the tech told me that no it was a girl, and I'll admit this, I was dissapointed. Just didnt feel right.

    This last ultrasound at a different facility, I had the tech check again, and sure enough he saw boy. I saw boy two little boy parts. And once again it felt right.

    I'm going with boy I just feel it is a boy, but in the end if the tech is right of course I'll love my little girl I was starting to get excited over the idea of a daughter. All that matters is he/she is healthy.
  • MandyMason7
    MandyMason7 Posts: 185 Member
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    Everyone in my family is hoping for a girl this time. I've had two boys and we'd really love to complete our family with a little girl. I'm not getting my hopes up and I keep telling everyone it's a boy. When I was pregnant with my second son I knew from the moment I found out we were expecting that he was a boy. I never had any doubt in my mind, it was just an overwhelming feeling of "boy". I don't have those same feelings this time but I also don't have overwhelming feelings of "girl" either.
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
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    With my daughter, I knew from conception it was a girl. I dont know how, I just knew. With this one, I feel it is a boy, but I dont feel it very strongly like I did with my daughter. I simply just think it is a boy but won't be surprised if I am wrong. I won't be disappointed either. Either way is fine with me :)
    My daughter is a little tomboy. She love hunting and hiking, tractors, trucks and dinosaurs. She loves science and all the critters of the world. She will go out for walks and come home with fish, snakes, lizards and frogs - even slugs a couple times. She loves jeans and t-shirts. She say her favorite color is camoflauge. Most of her shirts are brown, green or camoflauge patterned. She is my little 'boy' and I love it.
    It will be great if we have a boy because I think my daughter and my son will get along great. I am actually, strangely, more concerned about whether she'd get along with a sister.
    I have loved every minute of having a girl and wouldn't complain for a second about the chance to do it again. I want a boy, so that I can have one of each and have the experience of having a boy. Given a choice in the matter, I would probably say boy, but I really am perfectly okay with either.

    How early was your early ultrasound? I am having an ultrasound at 13.5 weeks, do you think there is a chance they will be able to tell then?
  • tiggerhammon
    tiggerhammon Posts: 2,211 Member
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    .....But my heart says I want a boy. For stereotypical reasons. So I can take him fishing and camping and hunting (all things I did--as a girl). So he can pee off the back of the boat and we don't have to pull into a marina to use the washroom. So when he falls I can tell him to "man up" or "brush it off". And, yes, so I don't have to see pink princess stuff in excess in my house!....
    I take my daughter fishing, hiking, camping and hunting. Dont need a boy for that. Okay, so she can't pee off the back of a boat but she is not shy at all about squating in the woods. I tell my daughter to 'brush it off' and to 'be tough.' My husband calls her his 'rough, tough girl.' Also, I started with some pink, never excessively though. It only lasted until I started giving her an opinion on what clothes she wanted to buy and there has been nothing pink since.
  • StrongAndHealthyMommy
    StrongAndHealthyMommy Posts: 1,255 Member
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    since before I got pregnant I have the feeling that we are expecting a boy even thought I would like a girl because my husband has a boy.... Im only 8 weeks now... we always joke around about it, but in reality we don't care if it is a girl or a boy
  • krystina_letitia9
    krystina_letitia9 Posts: 697 Member
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    .....But my heart says I want a boy. For stereotypical reasons. So I can take him fishing and camping and hunting (all things I did--as a girl). So he can pee off the back of the boat and we don't have to pull into a marina to use the washroom. So when he falls I can tell him to "man up" or "brush it off". And, yes, so I don't have to see pink princess stuff in excess in my house!....
    I take my daughter fishing, hiking, camping and hunting. Dont need a boy for that. Okay, so she can't pee off the back of a boat but she is not shy at all about squating in the woods. I tell my daughter to 'brush it off' and to 'be tough.' My husband calls her his 'rough, tough girl.' Also, I started with some pink, never excessively though. It only lasted until I started giving her an opinion on what clothes she wanted to buy and there has been nothing pink since.

    I disagree. Girls CAN pee off the back of boats, they just might get a bit wet from the water :wink:

    I'm having a boy. My husband KNEW it was a boy from the day we found out it was pregnant. Strangely, all of my friends and family, except my sister and my stepdad, all knew it was a boy too. How, I don't know! It took me until about 14 weeks to get a "feeling" one way or another. I just woke up in the middle of the night, knew it was a boy, and woke up my husband to tell him. At our ultrasound at 19.5 weeks, sure enough, it's a boy! We are first time parents, and would have been equally happy with a girl - I just wound have been shocked if it was :wink:
  • lisapr123
    lisapr123 Posts: 863 Member
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    .....But my heart says I want a boy. For stereotypical reasons. So I can take him fishing and camping and hunting (all things I did--as a girl). So he can pee off the back of the boat and we don't have to pull into a marina to use the washroom. So when he falls I can tell him to "man up" or "brush it off". And, yes, so I don't have to see pink princess stuff in excess in my house!....
    I take my daughter fishing, hiking, camping and hunting. Dont need a boy for that. Okay, so she can't pee off the back of a boat but she is not shy at all about squating in the woods. I tell my daughter to 'brush it off' and to 'be tough.' My husband calls her his 'rough, tough girl.' Also, I started with some pink, never excessively though. It only lasted until I started giving her an opinion on what clothes she wanted to buy and there has been nothing pink since.

    I disagree. Girls CAN pee off the back of boats, they just might get a bit wet from the water :wink:

    I'm having a boy. My husband KNEW it was a boy from the day we found out it was pregnant. Strangely, all of my friends and family, except my sister and my stepdad, all knew it was a boy too. How, I don't know! It took me until about 14 weeks to get a "feeling" one way or another. I just woke up in the middle of the night, knew it was a boy, and woke up my husband to tell him. At our ultrasound at 19.5 weeks, sure enough, it's a boy! We are first time parents, and would have been equally happy with a girl - I just wound have been shocked if it was :wink:

    I think it was just very "acceptable" for me to hunt, fish, etc... beacause I had older brothers. People just figured I was emulating my brothers. Whatever the gender, my child will (if they show interest) know how to shoot a pheasant, clean a fish, and pitch a tent.....as well as enjoy the Chicago Symphony Orchestra, the Art Institute, and the ballet. I feel it's my job as a parent to expose my children to all sorts of activities, cultures, and interests. The "boy" stuff just sounds more fun!
  • BunBun85
    BunBun85 Posts: 246 Member
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    This is going to sound strange from the minute I realized I was pregnant I knew it was a boy. It felt boy to me whatever that means...

    I don't think this is weird at all. I knew our bun was a boy from the moment I knew we were pregnant. I just felt so strongly that it was a boy. I only had dreams about him being a boy and I always talked about him as a he. It was confirmed on the anatomy scan, boy.
  • _DoingMe_
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    No idea and no preference.

    A boy would be nice as I'm sure my son would prefer a brother and I'm definitely a "boy" kind of mom.

    A girl would be nice as my mother in law has 6 grandchildren and 1 great grand child and they're all boys. And of the four children she had herself, 3 of the 4 were boys. She and everyone else on my husbands side would really like to buy pink for once. lol I'm not sure I'd know what to do with a little girl though, but I'm sure I'd figure it out.

    Either way, I'll be thrilled as so long as they're happy and cute, I'm good. :laugh:
  • SneakyBat
    SneakyBat Posts: 55 Member
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    I didn't mind one way or the other. I already have a beautiful 19 year old girl, who was never particularly girly ( just as well, I don't like girly things either)..I didn't find out her sex until she was born but I was absolutely positive I was having a blonde haired boy and lo and behold she was a dark haired girl.

    This time around I was convinced I was expecting another girl - my grandmother had girls, as did my mother and then me. At my 19 week scan the sonographer told me that we're having a "blindingly obvious" boy. Apparently he was proudly showcasing his goods. We're absolutely delighted :)
  • misskerouac
    misskerouac Posts: 2,242 Member
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    It doesn't really matter to me, I'm trying to convince my husband that we don't need to find out the gender. We are only planning to have one so I would really like that surprise after all the work on the big day. I think my husband would like a boy to "continue on the family name" but we'd be happy with either.
  • mycrazy8splus1
    mycrazy8splus1 Posts: 1,558 Member
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    We did not find out the sex. I would really like a girl but our track record is not so good for that. We have 6 boys and 2 girls. I have one very girly girl and one very tomboy type girl. I also have a son who loves the color pink, likes to do his sisters hair, and plays dress up with her (he loves girls so it is not a gay/straight thing, it is just who he is). My boys have all had baby dolls and my girls have all played with trucks. My older 2 boys were in dance classes, while my youngest daughter does wrestling. Both of my girls shoot, hunt, and fish. I think they are all pretty well rounded.
  • hotmomma0612
    hotmomma0612 Posts: 651 Member
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    I find out on December 19th at 18 weeks. I'd love another little boy, as I already have everything needed (I already have a baby boy). The boyfriend wants a little girl. He wants a daddy's girl so bad. Either way we'll be happy. :heart: :heart: :heart:
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    I have a boy and a girl already, so I don't mind what I have third time! I'd have been happy 2nd time to have had another boy, although I love my daughter to bits!

    My daughter is a real tomboy anyway and loves everything her big brother loves - cars, trains, scooters, lego, running around, climbing and jumping etc.
  • Lisa_Rhodes
    Lisa_Rhodes Posts: 263 Member
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    We didn't care if it was a boy or girl, as long as we have a healthy baby. Bc I didn't find out until my 10th week we were pregnant and was never sick, everyone thought of a boy. I thought at first I wanted a girl, but having a boy would be a nice change since between 2 brothers, there are 6 girls and 1 boy (FYI- we are having a boy!). I would like one of each, but if I get two boys, I'll won't cry :).

    My hubby and I are having a hard time finding more teal-like colors (or green) that we like bc we don't care for so much baby blue.... sometimes I'm just picky as hell!
  • dandelyon
    dandelyon Posts: 620 Member
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    Having my third boy. My husband is one of six boys and between them there are 14 children. 13 are boys. So I can't say I am surprised. Fortunately, I'm really happy being a boy mom. :D
  • Lisa_Rhodes
    Lisa_Rhodes Posts: 263 Member
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    I** won't cry... I can't spell for nothing, either :smile: