When to tell whom...

tzig00

A month ago I found out I was pregnant and within less than a week I had a miscarriage. I got engaged in that time and we were getting married in Feb. I told my boss I needed that day off after I miscarried and she asked if I was pregnant and when I told her that I miscarried she said no offense but it's probably for the best, you can't really afford that right now. Well...Sunday I found out I was pregnant again (I didn't think your body was supposed to allow you to get pregnant again so quickly), I went on Monday and had bloodwork done and my HCG level was 4,400+ and I had blood drawn today to make sure it's going up. On the 31st I get an ultrasound to find out just how far along I am since no one can begin to predict with me miscarrying last month. The ultrasound is on a workday and they need me for at least an hour. When do I tell my boss? My best friend already knows but when should I tell everyone else with just having had a miscarriage?

tzig00

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Lisa_Rhodes

First off, Sorry for your loss and congrats on this pregnancy; I hope all goes well. Generally most don't like to say anything until the end of the first trimester bc of the risk of miscarriages drops significantly. With your Boss' last response, I don't know if I would tell her now and may just make up something, but then again, you're going to be having more Dr appts, so you can always let her know but advise her that no one else knows bc of the previous miscarriage and wish to keep it that way. That's really your call and how comfortable you are with your Boss. Prior to my first appt to confirm our pregnancy, I didn't say the reason why I was going, but had to let mine know right after bc of the ultrasound that was schedule w/in a couple of days. When I found out I was much further along than expected, I then told other people bc I felt comfortable.

Good luck with everything!

ETA: I had a bad back problem prior to finding out and that was my excuse bc my back seriously didn't start to feel better until 4 weeks later.. no lie, that was the longest back pain I ever had. So until I felt comfortable telling people, I told them I was getting checked for my back, getting an MRI, etc..

ldrosophila

Personally, Id just tell your boss you have a Doctor's appt or a dentist appt. This early they dont need to know. And what a sh-t thing for you boss to say I hope she never has to go through a miscarriage.

I'm for keeping it a secret until you feel comfortable with the pregnancy. I didnt tell my Mom or work until 13weeks, and then the rest of everyone friends until 26weeks. It's too hard to explain losing the pregnancy over and over again the less people that know the better. In my little opinion.

eissacf25

I'm so sorry for your loss, but that's exciting you are pregnant again! Congrats and good luck

I agree with the others, I wouldn't tell your boss what kind of appointment you have unless you feel comfortable with her to do so. We have never been able to wait until 13-14 weeks to announce, its just such exciting news. I figure, as long as you see the heartbeat, your chances drop then too. Worst case, if something were to happen we just have that much more support and prayer.