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Is it wrong?

raige123
raige123 Posts: 352
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For the most part I'm actually happier being single. I mean there are times I miss having a someone but seem to be getting more annoyed by men lately then excited by the prospect. I'm running a lot more ... I'm back into my fitness like I was before my ex ... my dedication and motivation is back ... I don't want someone coming in and messing that up. Is it wrong to want to stay single and just casually date every now and again?

Replies

  • pa_jorg
    pa_jorg Posts: 4,404 Member
    No, it isn't wrong to know what you want.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I think life is about phases. What you want today, may not be what you want or need in 6 months or 5 years time. Just roll with it.

    I'm glad you're feeling content with life as it is. That's pretty awesome :flowerforyou:
  • Temporalia
    Temporalia Posts: 1,151 Member
    I could've wrote this myself, i'm there right now, I know exactly what you mean :love:
  • sewerchick93
    sewerchick93 Posts: 1,438 Member
    If it's wrong than I've been wrong for the last 20 yrs.
  • julesboots
    julesboots Posts: 311 Member
    Not wrong at all as long as you communicate that. I'd just worry that sometimes people don't believe you when you say you are only seeking something casual- or they think they can change your mind.

    Also, be clear if you do change your mind. My experience with that is that I didn't express a change of heart about wanting something more serious, and it went badly- causing a break up and eventual reconciliation that could have been avoided.

    Edit: Related to this, but maybe off topic a little- currently realizing how important it is to listen for the differences between wanting a long term situation and an actual partnership or marriage.
  • raige123
    raige123 Posts: 352
    Just feeling kind of pressured to find someone, because I'm getting older ... I'll be 38 in a few weeks. Friends think I should be out there finding my person. I kind of got fed up with men this summer as all that I was finding were head cases ... and I was falling for it. Just need a break to figure out what I want, but also I'm scared of someone coming in and screwing everything up again. I'm aggravated and annoyed with the whole process and would just rather not deal with it. But again ... friends don't understand that and I've been questioning whether it's wrong to just want to stay single.
  • MissingMinnesota
    MissingMinnesota Posts: 7,486 Member
    Just feeling kind of pressured to find someone, because I'm getting older ... I'll be 38 in a few weeks. Friends think I should be out there finding my person. I kind of got fed up with men this summer as all that I was finding were head cases ... and I was falling for it. Just need a break to figure out what I want, but also I'm scared of someone coming in and screwing everything up again. I'm aggravated and annoyed with the whole process and would just rather not deal with it. But again ... friends don't understand that and I've been questioning whether it's wrong to just want to stay single.

    Let me guess. All your friends are in long term relationships? My answer, find some single friends.
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
    Better to be single vs. an unhappy relationship.
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    Better to be single vs. an unhappy relationship.

    This!!!

    OP nothing wrong with it if that's really what you want. From what we've seen of your previous posts (I didn't look them up so forgive me if my memory has you confused with someone else) you may be putting out a vibe to your friends that you really truly WANT to be in a relationship NOW just happy to have no drama at present moment.

    I find that a lot of people who say they're happy to be single say it almost like they're settling for singlehood when in reality being single is awesome! No one else messing up your life spending all your food, getting mad because you want to spend your time the way YOU want, insisting you do everything for them but mysteriously never can find a way to help/do for you.

    I say all that but im actually in a relationship that is moving forward quite nicely. Funny thing is, I didn't really make progress with him until I truly became happy with myself regardless of my relationship status.

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