relationship with partner?

miranda_mom

I'm 34 weeks and I feel like the last two months or so, my husband and I have been fighting way more than we ever did. We've been together since we were teenagers and are now in our mid-thirties so I have a lot of time to compare it to. Right now he is mad at me because we both wanted to go see a movie and he feels like I didn't do enough to facilitate that happening. (We were supposed to go last weekend but it snowed and now he is saying we should've gone anyway even though we would've had to take our daughter to my mom's house about 45 minutes away and the roads were terrible in my hometown). He is also insisting that he asked me to set everything up for today a few days ago but he didn't. And he's mad because the movie is long and I said a 7 PM showing was too late since we would have to pick our daughter up at my mom's afterward. But like I said, this is like the third fight in the last few months. Is this normal? Maybe we are both just stressing about a new baby, or maybe it's my hormones - I don't know.

krystina_letitia9

In my personal experience, I've found that since being pregnant, I'm always forgetting what people tell me. Are you SURE that you didn't tell him you were planning the movie? My grandma called yesterday and told me my Xmas present was at her house and I could pick it up whenever, because it's a big present that she will have a tough time transporting Xmas morning. And then she said, "But you know what it is!" because apparently, I told her what I wanted. I've been wracking my brain and can't remember what I would have told her that is a big package. I've had to write notes to myself so I can remember things I've told people and things that I say I'll do! It's ridiculous.

That being said, it doesn't sound like a major fight. It sounds like he's stressed and he's picking a fight about something silly. Try talking to him and figure out what's going on. And if that doesn't work, well, then I'd say you have plenty of reason to be annoyed and mad.

WickedZoey

Some couples get closer because of pregnancy and some fight more. My husband and I have fought a few times in the past few months but it's mostly little stuff and me being crazy. I genuinely recognize when it's the hormones because when I reflect later, it seems ridiculous. I'm a little over 39 weeks now... but I think the stress of our first baby definitely adds to it.

Lisa_Rhodes

Some couples get closer because of pregnancy and some fight more. My husband and I have fought a few times in the past few months but it's mostly little stuff and me being crazy. I genuinely recognize when it's the hormones because when I reflect later, it seems ridiculous. I'm a little over 39 weeks now... but I think the stress of our first baby definitely adds to it.

This is definitely my DH and I lately... I stress out over little things more so than usual. Things have been stressing him at work and when I was upset and stressing out over something he did (it was a mistake, it happens), he blew up and it was a horrible fight the other night. We have since said our apologies, but I forewarned him I would be like this bc like you, I reflect after a bit and realize, 'really?' I usually apologize, lol.

DawnieB1977

Hormones, blame the hormones

I was a nightmare in my 2nd pregnancy, although I didn't realise it at the time. My husband said he was worried I'd actually leave him, I was so stressy. He was worried to have another baby. But I'm 23 weeks with our 3rd now and I've been ok. I was fine with our first too.

The only arguments we have are silly ones, like me getting annoyed because he hasn't done the dishwasher/put the clean clothes away etc. Stuff that annoys me when I'm not pregnant too!

Sixel

We've had some fights which were clearly stress-related. I know of friends who have them more regular during pregnancy. It has to do with the woman having a one-track mind (everything's related to baby) and the man not being very involved ("we have plenty of time until the baby arrives; right now it's business as usual").

I wouldn't worry about it too much.

lieselLalor

It sounds to me like he feels like he isn't paid enough attention which would make sense being pregnant. You don't even put yourself first anymore. You put the baby and your body first, like not wanting to be out so late. Women seem to be a little more realistic. Men don't always seem to realize the stress your body is in and sometimes something simple like going to the movies seems like more work than its worth. My husband and I NEVER fought until my son was a few months old. I didn't seem to be moody at all in my first pregnancy, for this pregnancy however I've been extremely sensitive. I wouldn't say we are fighting more but the things we do fight over seem to stem from me being extra sensitive. I would just try to talk to him about it.

lisapr123

I'd say it's time to have the heart-to-heart talk. You're probably both stressed about things & don't even realize it. We just had baby #1 so it was pretty easy....it was just about the three of us. I imagine if we're lucky enough to have another, it'll be more difficult as we'll have our daughter to care for too. My big fear while pregnant was becoming overly sensitive, so I took active measures to keep myself in check. And when I was feeling sensitive, I went to my girlfriends not my husband. I guess I was trying to "protect" him from evil momma bear

Does he have a buddy he talks to about stuff like this? My husbands boss is forever in my debt, as he walked my husband thru this whole pregnancy/childbirth (and IVF too, since he went thru it too) thing and my husband was able to air his grievances about me to a friendly ear. My husband will only tell me he griped about me to his boss, I have no clue what was said or how I'd feel if I knew. (On the negative side, his boss also knows about my milk production, C-Section scar, and how long I bled afterwards...but still, worth it since he totally distressed my husband!)

Hang in there. Have a little chat. Schedule a date night and go thru with it even if you're only half-hearted about it. It can't hurt.

miranda_mom

I actually really want to see the movie and am doing everything I can. The problem is we have to rely on my mom for babysitting because his parents are not reliable (they almost always cancel at the last minute) and he is also trying to arrange with a friend, who works retail so obviously his schedule is not ideal. Then when I told him that he could go with the friend and I would stay home with our daughter, he got mad about that too.