Having some troubles 4 months before surgery
trinity9058
Posts: 149 Member
And I need some help. I am having a major meltdown. Let me give you a bit of back story.
I have never, ever been able to lose any amount of weight and keep it off. I've trended upwards, since I was 12 years old. I've been tested for all medical conditions under the sun and I have nothing that would account for the weight gain. I am active daily, doing cardio for at least 30 minutes a day as well as some sort of strength training. I eat between 1300 and 1800 calories, trying to keep my body guessing because it definitely likes its comfort zone. I have decided to pursue a gastric sleeve.
Due to my insurance, I have a six month waiting period where I have to lose 15 lbs before they will approve the surgery for me. I am 3 months into this period and I have actually gained 5 lbs since my initial weigh in. I am anxious all the time about what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising, to the point of having nightmares about it.
A couple of weeks ago, I actually had a nightmare that made me sick to my stomach. It was the week before my surgery and it was time to start my liquid diet. I was in the kitchen staring out my window and I was getting upset. My husband was beside me, trying to get me to drink my first protein shake. I wouldn't take it and he kept trying to get me to take it, telling me that I had chosen this and that it was for the greater good and that I really needed to get the weight off. This lasted for a couple of minutes until I finally started screaming at him to leave me alone and that I didn't want the damn shake. He just looked at me and set it on the counter and said I knew this wasn't going to work, you would never let it. As he walked away, I slid to the floor with my hands over my ears, just sobbing my heart out about how everyone was taking my food away and how could they do this to me and don't they know what food means to me. And then I woke up.
I was terrified when I woke up. I knew that this meant I have a major food addiction and I got myself into therapy ASAP. I am now in my second week and while I know that I will get a handle on this some day, I'm worried about how this will affect my surgery and my weight. I am still anxious. I am still stessing over every little thing. I'm wondering if I should put it off until I get my mind right. Any thoughts? Anything would be helpful at this point. Thanks in advance everyone. Sorry about the book.
I have never, ever been able to lose any amount of weight and keep it off. I've trended upwards, since I was 12 years old. I've been tested for all medical conditions under the sun and I have nothing that would account for the weight gain. I am active daily, doing cardio for at least 30 minutes a day as well as some sort of strength training. I eat between 1300 and 1800 calories, trying to keep my body guessing because it definitely likes its comfort zone. I have decided to pursue a gastric sleeve.
Due to my insurance, I have a six month waiting period where I have to lose 15 lbs before they will approve the surgery for me. I am 3 months into this period and I have actually gained 5 lbs since my initial weigh in. I am anxious all the time about what I'm eating and how much I'm exercising, to the point of having nightmares about it.
A couple of weeks ago, I actually had a nightmare that made me sick to my stomach. It was the week before my surgery and it was time to start my liquid diet. I was in the kitchen staring out my window and I was getting upset. My husband was beside me, trying to get me to drink my first protein shake. I wouldn't take it and he kept trying to get me to take it, telling me that I had chosen this and that it was for the greater good and that I really needed to get the weight off. This lasted for a couple of minutes until I finally started screaming at him to leave me alone and that I didn't want the damn shake. He just looked at me and set it on the counter and said I knew this wasn't going to work, you would never let it. As he walked away, I slid to the floor with my hands over my ears, just sobbing my heart out about how everyone was taking my food away and how could they do this to me and don't they know what food means to me. And then I woke up.
I was terrified when I woke up. I knew that this meant I have a major food addiction and I got myself into therapy ASAP. I am now in my second week and while I know that I will get a handle on this some day, I'm worried about how this will affect my surgery and my weight. I am still anxious. I am still stessing over every little thing. I'm wondering if I should put it off until I get my mind right. Any thoughts? Anything would be helpful at this point. Thanks in advance everyone. Sorry about the book.
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If food is comfort to you, if athletic events are about food, if parties are about food, if holidays and family events are about food.....you may need therapy for more than 4 months. Just being honest. If you do not live the highly restricted diet after surgery you will promptly stop losing wt after the 1st 20lbs.0
