Advice on blabbermouths

tzig00

I have told one person that I'm pregnant and that's my best friend. I know she would never say anything. There has been some speculation going on in my office between my manager and a couple coworkers but no one has come out and asked me so I'm not saying. I'm not ready to tell as I still don't know how far I am. Yesterday my fiance called his best friend and his best friend offered his congratulations on me being pregnant. My fiance has never told his friend or any of his friends for that matter. There is one person we all have in common and that's a coworker of mine who is in the speculation with my manager. I don't have concrete proof that she is the one who said something but I don't know who else would have. I'm torn because I'm mad at my coworkers for speculating behind my back and getting angry that I'm not saying anything and saying things to other people when they have no right to do so, but I don't have concrete proof that she was the one who said something so I don't want to call her out if it wasn't her fault by some miracle. Someone please help me and tell me how I should handle this. My pregnancy emotions are all over the place right now and if it were up to me, I'd slap her and then tell her what it was for. lol

miranda_mom

Your fiance's friend was probably baiting him to see if he could find anything out. If he was like "About what?" then the friend could report back to your co-worker that you're not (or you're not telling) but if he was like "Oh thanks" then you can bet everyone knows about it by now.
People are going to speculate - that's just natural. I find myself doing it too. We had one woman who works for one of our vendors who didn't tell anyone until she was like five months along but she was already wearing maternity clothes so I think it's only natural to wonder.
My advice would be to just continue to play it cool until you're ready. Try to ignore your co-workers if possible. Soon enough you will be able to say something.
BTW, I was kind of happy about the speculating and gossip because I was really not into making a big announcement to my whole department so I was happy when people asked me and already knew because I could just say "Thanks" and move on with my life. This is my second though, so I think that makes it a little different.

dandelyon

I posted my ultrasound pic on the office bulletin board with the text Yes, I am.

They spend so much time with us.. they can't help but notice.

At my first workplace, 7 years ago, I just told the office gossip and let people come up to me with congratulations, rather than awkwardly going around trying to work it into conversation :P

lisapr123

At my first workplace, 7 years ago, I just told the office gossip and let people come up to me with congratulations, rather than awkwardly going around trying to work it into conversation :P

^^This!! We didn't "announce" our pregnancy until I was 33 weeks along (I wasn't really showing much before that) but instead let the gossip fly, the congrats roll in, and enjoyed things as they were. One thing I've learned is I cannot control other peoples thoughts and actions, so why bother? My in-laws are big on the gossip front and it irked me that they told people before we had the chance to (I'm talking 12-16 weeks, not 33!) but no point in getting upset over it. Rumors flew at my husbands office early on as he was suddenly missing work/leaving mid-day for appointments/etc... (we did IVF so there was quite a bit of early monitoring) but we let people speculate. If people asked directly, they got a direct answer. If not, they were left to wonder. We'll never know who started leaking to people in other departments/buildings/etc... but in the end we got a healthy, happy baby so we don't really care. (We also had a loss in early 2013 and rumors had already spread then too. They subsided as time passed and we never announced.)

miranda_mom

At my first workplace, 7 years ago, I just told the office gossip and let people come up to me with congratulations, rather than awkwardly going around trying to work it into conversation :P

I totally did that too.

hiba_84

I totally agree with PP. Play it cool, ignore the gossip until you are ready to make the announcement. I asked my husband not to tell anyone until i complete the 1st tri. He obviously couldn't keep the secret and went ahead and told his sister who has taken the liberty of going and telling her dad ( and i bet all of her other brothers!!) That made me furious! It's our news and we should be the ones announcing it. Neither she nor her dad has said a word to me directly. I caught her a couple of times staring at my belly trying to see if i were showing yet and her dad kept throwing mean comments trying to get me to react. What did i do in both cases? NOTHING. Let them burn, they won't hear it from my mouth until I decide to tell them. Sorry for the vent, lol

tzig00

Update: I just had my Ultrasound on the 31st to find out just how far along I was and what happened with the "miscarriage" in October/November. I found out I was 9 weeks, 4 days along which puts me as pregnant before my "miscarriage" so we'll never know what happened there. I told my boss right after I found out and told the office after that. When I announced it to the office one of the girls said "we already know" so I just looked at her and said fine, never mind, I won't let you know any more of it until I give birth since you already know everything before I can say anything. I know that probably wasn't the best response I could have given, but it was what I was feeling at the time and I have a hard time with the filter lately...