Hello, I'm Vicky

vahv

Hi, I've finally decided to use all of the MFP features and sign up to some groups. I am going to start reading everyone's posts soon, but first I wanted to jump right in with my stuff...

I'm 36 and have been with ED since I was 11, if not earlier. I've tried various kinds of recovery and now I am pretty much in the obese category of the BMI. I am attempting to lose weight again; to get back to the weight (or shape, rather) I was just a few years ago, but I'm wondering if there is a saner way to do this. I looked pretty good when I was at my "fittest," but I was restricting, over-exercising, and I was heading for trouble again. Due to an illness which took months to get over I stopped working out, and then I binged my way back to a healthier weight--and then some. I wonder if it's possible for someone who is legitimately overweight to count calories and do an exercise routine to lose weight yet not get carried away. I am upping my calories to standard ED-recovery levels, which are way more than MFP levels. I have no desire to eat that little and I know full well that people can maintain decent body sizes on ED-recovery amounts. My issue is that since it takes longer to achieve doing it that way instead of on a crash diet I'm afraid I'll get frustrated and binge eat or restrict for a while and then binge eat. THIS is what I don't want to do.

Thanks for your time.

themo90

Hi Vicky!

I've too have been struggling with EDs since I was very young and have a similair story to yours. I got very sick last year (stress problems) wich prevented me from working out and I gained a lot of weight (almost 30kg/60lbs). Not all of that weight was "bad" weight since I was way to skinny and heading towards a bad state of my illnes again before. But now I'm balancing at the onese line of BMI and my doctor told me that it's okay for me to loose some weigth even considiring my E.D.

The thing I find very hard about it is doing it in a healthy way and not falling into my old behaviour - as you said - there are faster ways of doing it and sometimes I feel really restless. My trick: (this far, two weeks in) are

1) Not limiting what food I can eat. If I want to have icecram I can have icecream etc. But that means I have to eat a little less of something else or work out. But I can't go lower than my recomended intake of calories. (And that's the big struggle - and I have to admit I've failed some days but that's because I've been working out thoose days)
2) Setting strict rules for how much I can workout. E.g. I can't be on the threadmill for more than 30 minutes - even though I often feel like I want to continue until I almost faint.
3) Eat food that I really like so that I still find happiness in eating

It's hard, and as I said, I'm only two weeks in yet. But I do feel that for me the focus has to be finding happiness in eating so that I stil WANT to eat food - if I don't want to eat then I'll get really worried. Also I find it helpfull logging the workouts so that I get some support in upping my calories.

And maybe something obvoius: I've been talking to my friends and hubby, and they support me - making sure I don't work out to much and eat to little.

I hope you found some part of this post helpful - and if you did, don't hesitate to send a message if you need someone to talk too

Good luck and keep enjoying food!

badwolf4

Hey, I'm Amberley
I'm only 15, but I've had my ED since I was in 3rd grade. I used to restrict and over-exercise, but then a really really kind doctor talked me down. Over the next year I gained 30lbs leaving myself at my highest (212). I am very tall, granted, but my family is riddled with EDs, so I did not have a supportive home environment. My doctors after that point were hell to deal with, they made everything worse. It got to a point where the voice in my head telling me all those nasty ED things was my only friend, and so I fell a long, long, long way.

I nearly died.

Now, I am struggling to still lose weight, while restoring my metabolism, while not hurting myself more. I have been rather alone in this struggle, but in a way that's helped. I trip and fall, but I'm building the strength to keep getting back up. Today marked a fantastic point in my journey: I lost 10lbs in a healthy way for the first time in my life. In a 5 week period, not 1 week like it used to be. I want you to know that it IS possible, and it is difficult.

NOTE: I'm exhausted and have a feeling this post got away from me. Please, feel free to message me and we can hold a conversation on the subject. I work best like that.