Anyone else struggling with BFing and motivation?

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RBXChas
RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
I'm having a tough time getting motivated again after the holidays. I guess I'm just to the point where I've resigned myself to not losing weight (or at least not losing very much weight) until we've weaned. I'm obviously worried about gaining weight, but I feel like even that requires too much restriction, and being so disciplined with no results is frustrating.

I still have fitness goals in mind, but I'm struggling with the eating part. I want to just say, "F it" as far as my eating. I find it ridiculous that I can't lose weight BFing as much as I still am and eating 1800 calories.

Honestly it's the same mentality I had during my pregnancy when it became obvious that no matter what I did I was going to gain a ton of weight.

Am I the only one who has/had this mentality that it's not worth the effort until, well, the effort pays off?

My baby is 7.5 months old, eating two servings of solids a day, and I figured by now I'd be well on my way to what I used to weigh. Instead I'm over 50 lbs away. I've been logging since 2.5 weeks postpartum, so logging now feels like beating a dead horse. It is painful to think that I can't even make any real progress until late May (when my baby will be a year old).

ETA that my ticker is deceiving, and I should remove it. I lost 20 lbs immediately postpartum, and almost another 20 by late November (right around my son's six-month birthday). I would bet I've gained 7 or 8 back since, especially when you consider that I didn't hit that low again once my baby started STTN, which coincided with his six-month birthday.

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  • redheadmommy
    redheadmommy Posts: 908 Member
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    I totally understand your feelings and frustration. I am the exact same way , I can not lose during breastfeeding and it is extremely annoying. Plus gained 65 lb during the pregnancy and I kept logging in the entire time and I only ate maintanance for the first 6 months and only 300 extra in the last trimester. Based on that I only should have gained like 25 lb or less, so where the hell the extra 40 lb fat accumulated from ?
    I am logging since 2 days after I gave birth. I was losing nicely on 1750 calorie prior to pregnancy, and my max was 2200 in the most demanding period in breastfeeding. After my baby started solid I reduced my total calorie intake very fast, and still nothing. My baby is 1 yr old and she only Bfing twice a day, but I am eating 1650 calories now. I am eating less than prior to pregnancy and still barely no weight loss?!?!? I am just super annoyed by this.
    I have to admit this was one of the main driving force why I wanted to wean my baby over the holidays. She was sick, and instead of weaning she ended up Bfing a lot more than normal. Now I think I wait a couple of months with the weaning until the flu season ends. Plus she is not walking alone just yet, only if I hold her hands. For me walking by herself represents the difference between baby and a toddler. If I wait just a bit more until she will be officially a toddler and not a baby, and I won't be feeling as bad about the whole weaning.
    There are days I just want to throw in the towel and scream! I want a T-shirt that says : I am only fat because I decided to breastfeed. , lol
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Thank you! I have wanted to wear a sign that said that I got fit after #1 but am not fit this time yet because I'm BFing! (Plus "I just had a baby" is no longer a "valid" excuse!)

    Let me tell you, I've considered the mental cost of BFing vs. the monetary cost of formula, but I can't bring myself to give him formula.

    Not that I'm throwing in the towel and buying candy and pints of Ben & Jerry's, but I'm really debating the pros and cons of continuing to log. Besides the habit, the only pro I can see is not gaining weight, but even that doesn't feel like enough motivation to do it. I'm not sure if the frustration has legitimately caught up with me or if I'm just feeling sorry for myself today.
  • chickybuns
    chickybuns Posts: 1,037 Member
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    Yes, I understand completely, it's like why try? I actually kinda gave up after September, and I gained a few lbs, but all but 1 have come back off within a few days. It is a weird emotional thing though thinking about weaning. I think I'm going to try Miles on whole milk soon and see how he does, maybe that will make my decision to wean easier. I just want to make sure he gets some boob juice throughout winter, even if it's 6oz a day of my frozen. But I really want to lose this weight and get my body back.

    RBX-You are really getting close, I thought the first half was the worst. He will be one before you know it, and like you said who knows if you will want to wean or he may start self weaning before that. I understand. I gained 70, lost 25 easy lbs, then 20 or so more that I worked for, and have 20 some holding on for dear life....jerks. But what helped me was when I was training for the tough mudder. I decided to forget about the weight and just get in shape, I know you have some running goals, so maybe just focus on those?? I am doing a mini in May, so that will be my new focus. And maybe in a month or two I'll wean and lose weight easy and give you some hope :) I'm thinking now I might make it to 15 months pumping, we will see. Hang in there :))
  • chickybuns
    chickybuns Posts: 1,037 Member
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    And we totally need to make those shirts..lol!!
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    Thanks to you, too! I am thinking about just focusing on running/training. Maybe I just need to log but give up on the scale?
  • FitMama2013
    FitMama2013 Posts: 919 Member
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    My suggestion would be to keep a food journal, but don't track calories, and to weigh once a month until you wean.

    ETA: the journal will keep you accountable, but not be as time consuming or brain frying as counting calories. I think sometimes taking a step back is good! And, weighing once a month because I've done the most "damage" when abandoning the scale in the past.
  • RBXChas
    RBXChas Posts: 2,708 Member
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    My suggestion would be to keep a food journal, but don't track calories, and to weigh once a month until you wean.

    ETA: the journal will keep you accountable, but not be as time consuming or brain frying as counting calories. I think sometimes taking a step back is good! And, weighing once a month because I've done the most "damage" when abandoning the scale in the past.

    Thanks :)

    For me the scale is a double-edged sword. If I don't weigh in, I risk gaining and being consciously oblivious to it. Also, I tend to take liberties when I hit lows, so I hit a low and then don't make progress for a while after that.

    I think logging is fair without worrying about whether or not I hit the goal. That way I'm keeping up the habit and being honest about what I'm eating (which will keep me somewhat accountable because I won't eat crappy food or overeat).
  • prplrose33
    prplrose33 Posts: 78 Member
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    I am right there with you. The past couple of months I haven't even bothered logging. I step on the scale at least twice a month and I haven't gained anything since I stopped logging. I lose the same 4-5 pounds each month. I did get down to my lowest since having my 2nd about a month ago. Not sure how, but I was pretty excited. I try and workout a couple times a week. There are days that I just want to throw in the towel, but then I remember how great I felt when I was 20 pounds lighter than I am now and I just keep plugging a long. As soon as I wean I will cut my calories and really start to focus on exercising. Right now I am just going to enjoy that I get to eat more food so that I can maintain my supply. 5 more months until really start to work on getting my body back.
  • Jenny_Rose77
    Jenny_Rose77 Posts: 418 Member
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    Same boat!! I will say that I have been SUPER lax about logging for the past month, and I'm pretty sure I've gained weight. It's so frustrating. Basically, I think for some of us the reason to log is to avoid gaining weight while BFing (as opposed to actually losing). Wah-wah! :frown: