De-fluffing

maruby95

Ok. I can't take it anymore :0. I decided at the beginning of the week to try to de-fluff a bit, see where I am, and possibly go back for more bulk. Started out aiming for maintenance, but ended up under by several hundred every day, so pretty much my cut number. Anyway, the irony is that after working so hard to try and gain before, I guess my body doesn't want to quit! It's on a roll! Despite my calorie reduction, I'm still gaining consistently. I'm not really worried b/c I know how this works and I can't be really gaining on a deficit. But still, a little crazy to watch it keep going up and up. Hopefully, my body will catch on soon and start shedding some of this fluff!! The bad news is that I could already feel the diference in the gym yesterday (not in a good way)- but may have just been a bad day. Hope so. Pretty much love watching those lifts go up .

Here's to a quick de-fluff so I can get back to bulking in a happier place.

Kestrelwings

Unless your body is capable of defying the laws of physics, the continued weight gain is most likely the normal variation of your menstrual cycle! Panic not. If your lifts are not so good, it sounds like your body itself is not of the opinion it is 'fluffy', and would very much like to continue putting down more muscle? Hope you feel more 'in balance' soon.

89nunu

I accidentally de-fluffed when I stopped counting for two weeks over christmas (I was also ill for a couple of days). But I totally know how you feel! I felt so nice and skinny afterwards but also very ready for more muscle and more stregth. So good luck on the de-fluffing while holding on to all the lovely muscles you build!

cmeiron

Giiiiirl, I'm calling you out:

Come on, let's hang in there till the end of Jan. We can both do it and we'll be glad we stuck it out when all that beautiful muslce starts to surface .

Sound familiar?

TriLifter

Giiiiirl, I'm calling you out:

Come on, let's hang in there till the end of Jan. We can both do it and we'll be glad we stuck it out when all that beautiful muslce starts to surface .

Sound familiar?

oooohhh....BURNED! :devil:

yogaga1

Giiiiirl, I'm calling you out:

Come on, let's hang in there till the end of Jan. We can both do it and we'll be glad we stuck it out when all that beautiful muslce starts to surface .

Sound familiar?

oooohhh....BURNED! :devil:

SLAM!!! :laugh:

You know I feel you right now... But, something magical happened this morning and I woke up on the right side of the bed. So, I'm going to come play devils advocate! :devil:

If you reaaaaaaaally reaaaaaally can't do it, I'm not going to give you ****. Your body, your call. But, if there is still a tiny little voice in there somewhere tellin' you to keep going just a little bit longer and you're ignoring it right now because of a little extra harmless fluff...let me grab the megaphone for you...KEEP GOING GIRL!!!!!!!!!

But like I said, your body, your call. I'll cheer you on either direction! :flowerforyou:

ssaraj43

I'm de- fluffing for the week. My Christmas day food fest turned into about a ten day food fest. I finally stopped on Sunday when the scale said 141 (a lb. over my goal weight ). Had it down to 135 yesterday but this morning was 136 which I believe was just from a killer leg workout yesterday. Sunday I'm going back to bulking calories no matter what the scale says. I figure I'll just have to cut the extra ten days this spring. At 43 and still a noob I feel like this is my last chance to make any gain. Not sure if that's true or not and I will try another cycle this fall.

No shame in getting back to a happier place :flowerforyou:

pandorakick

Ok. I can't take it anymore :0. I decided at the beginning of the week to try to de-fluff a bit, see where I am, and possibly go back for more bulk. Started out aiming for maintenance, but ended up under by several hundred every day, so pretty much my cut number. Anyway, the irony is that after working so hard to try and gain before, I guess my body doesn't want to quit! It's on a roll! Despite my calorie reduction, I'm still gaining consistently. I'm not really worried b/c I know how this works and I can't be really gaining on a deficit. But still, a little crazy to watch it keep going up and up. Hopefully, my body will catch on soon and start shedding some of this fluff!! The bad news is that I could already feel the diference in the gym yesterday (not in a good way)- but may have just been a bad day. Hope so. Pretty much love watching those lifts go up .

Here's to a quick de-fluff so I can get back to bulking in a happier place.

Do what you got to do! :flowerforyou:

maruby95

Giiiiirl, I'm calling you out:

Come on, let's hang in there till the end of Jan. We can both do it and we'll be glad we stuck it out when all that beautiful muslce starts to surface .

Sound familiar?

LOL! I've been waiting for you to show and yell at me .
I know! Totally hypocritical! Meant it when I said it- just woke up one day and can barely stand to look in the mirror . I 'want' to hold out in that I want the muscle, but I'm geting so discouraged, even wondering if I've gained ANY muscle. My lifts are better, but not tons better. I've surpassed my original weight goal. Nothing fits. And I'm short, so 10 extra pounds looks…well..like 10 extra pounds. I see some people's post bulk pix and they look strong and muscle-y. I just look fat. Seriously. Truth.
If it's any consolation, even though I droped my cals at the beginning of the week, my weight has continued to go up. Can't even say I'm just de-bloating. Seems to be getting worse, not better.

Whaaaa!!!!

maruby95

You know I feel you right now... But, something magical happened this morning and I woke up on the right side of the bed. So, I'm going to come play devils advocate! :devil:

If you reaaaaaaaally reaaaaaally can't do it, I'm not going to give you ****. Your body, your call. But, if there is still a tiny little voice in there somewhere tellin' you to keep going just a little bit longer and you're ignoring it right now because of a little extra harmless fluff...let me grab the megaphone for you...KEEP GOING GIRL!!!!!!!!!

But like I said, your body, your call. I'll cheer you on either direction! :flowerforyou:

OK- I hear you on having a bad moment/ day. I've been feeling crappy about the fluff for a week or more. But there IS a tiny voice that wants to keep going. I will be sooooo pi$$ed at myself if I cut back down and haven't gained any muscle, which I'm afraid is going to be the case. I just struggle so much with the fluff. And I know from experience that I can't get as lean as I want to (and stay healthy) without adding LBM. My body just won't let me.

I gain most of my weight in my belly/ love handles, and being a 'banana' already, this is not attractive at all! I totally lose my waist and already have no boobs and skinny legs (which NEVER seem to change, no matter how much I try. Grrr.), so I look like a boy with a beer belly. Hard to ignore. Hate getting dressed. If I could stay in my house and wear sweatpants for the next 2 months, I think I could do it. But since that's not happening…

Sorry to be a whiner.

I really wouldn like to be talked out of my big wimp out…or tell me some way to make it more bearable.

maruby95

I'm de- fluffing for the week. My Christmas day food fest turned into about a ten day food fest. I finally stopped on Sunday when the scale said 141 (a lb. over my goal weight ). Had it down to 135 yesterday but this morning was 136 which I believe was just from a killer leg workout yesterday. Sunday I'm going back to bulking calories no matter what the scale says. I figure I'll just have to cut the extra ten days this spring. At 43 and still a noob I feel like this is my last chance to make any gain. Not sure if that's true or not and I will try another cycle this fall.

No shame in getting back to a happier place :flowerforyou:

At the beginning of the week, this is what I thought I was doing…just backing off a little to lose some bloat from the holidays. I figured there was some significant water stuff going on. But I'm not having your experience. I think that would have helped me enough to motivate to keep going. But when I'm continuing to 'gain' (I know that's impossible) on a deficit, it's starting to freak me out and make me question my ability to get the fat off when it's time :0.

yogaga1

GIRL! Story of my LIFE!!! Whine all you want. All gains to the belly here too. Had you posted this a few days ago, I would have jumped on that de-fluff train with you, NO LIE. I too look at pictures of others in their bulk and compare and I say "What in the actual ****"... I'm sure you can figure out that blurred word is.

The reality is, I started from square one, and I'll be honest- like a few of us here, I struggled with ED in the past. While I feel like I'm in a MUCH better place now, I know that these feelings creepin' up have a LOT more to do with that than they do of me actually looking like crap. I'm getting the vibe that this might be the same from you. Because I wasted away muscle for years- it's going to take a few bulk and cut cycles for me to still appear like I lift during a bulk. It's hard to come to terms with, but if I keep doing the same thing I've always done, I'm going to have the same result. Amiright?

Only because you asked...I'm TALKING YOU OUT OF IT!!!!!!

STAY ON THE DARK SIDE. WE GET TO EAT MORE COOKIES.

maruby95

@yogaga1- you are dead on. I know I lot of this inability to deal with the fat is ED. And I know ED is the reason I'm stuck unable to get lean without replace all the muscle I, too, wasted away over the years. And part of the reason I wanted to do this bulk in the first place was to flip off old ED and prove to myself I wouldn't actually die if I got fat. But of course, now I feel like I'm going to die :0. and giving in feels a bit like letting him have the win. Which pi$$es me off.

You are absolutely right- if I don't change something I'm going to end up in the same place. Question for me is: have I actually accomplished something in this bulk? I can't really tell. And can I cope with more gain without ending up depressed and vowing never to bulk again?!

It really does help to know I'm not the only one struggling with this…

And cookies helps too. I'm flipping STARVING right now but have already eaten all my (cutting) cals for the day.
That might convince me….:)

SonyaCele

i've been defluffing for the last two weeks and i feel AWESOME, i needed it mentally and physically. I am gonna continue two more weeks and then back to fluff and iron and muscle for another 3 or 4 months. my weights aren't noticing a difference yet, i think it would take more than a month to lose any signifiant muscle mass to notice a difference in strength.

yogaga1

Look how far you have already come... You walked out on to the ledge and said "I'M JUMPING! DEAL WITH IT!" and here you are 10 weeks later into your bulk.

I saw this cute quote on Pinterest that said "If you don't take care of your body, where are you going to live?". Be gentle with yourself. If it's too much, it's too much. But because you know you still have a whisper of a thought to carry on...when it starts to feel suffocating, flip that middle finger up for a few more days. Maybe that will be enough time to snap out of it. If it's not, then at minimum- you can pat yourself on the back for an extra two steps forward that you may not have made in the past.

I've got your back either way.

Kestrelwings

EDs are evil little gremlins that lurk in the back of your mind, twisting what you see in the mirror and screwing up the 'simple' process of eating what your body needs.

Whilst the gremlin may never be evicted, it can be made to shut the hell up and kept on a short leash. I never thought I would be able to eat as much as I do now (2200-2400 cals), or be so pleased with what I see in the mirror 'most' of the time. I have still got a long way to go, and so far have not gained on my attempted bulk, but even so there is now an anti-gremlin which is using my love of being able to lift heavy things to tempt me to move away from old habits.

I am pretty sure the 'fluff' is invisible to everyone apart from the person feeling 'fluffy' most of the time.

ssaraj43

Well said DrNadya

maruby95

I agree Dr Nadya…lifting has the biggest help in fighting ED. Way better than counseling, dietitians, etc. I love pushing my body and the rush of a new PR. And I've broken lots of 'calorie records' in this bulk :laugh: . If you told me a year ago I would consistenly eat 1800-1900 calories I would have laughed. So, I am thankful with progress on that front.

As for the fluff being visible mostly to me…you're probably right about that, too.

Woke up feeling a bit better about things today. Going to eat maintenance today and tomorrow and see how I feel. Seriously considering going back to bulking calories for another 2 weeks (until end of Wendler cycle).

THANK YOU, ALL :flowerforyou: . What a fantastic and supportive bunch of ladies you are!!! So thankful for this group .

cmeiron

Woke up feeling a bit better about things today. Going to eat maintenance today and tomorrow and see how I feel. Seriously considering going back to bulking calories for another 2 weeks (until end of Wendler cycle).

*slow clap* :drinker:

89nunu

Woke up feeling a bit better about things today. Going to eat maintenance today and tomorrow and see how I feel. Seriously considering going back to bulking calories for another 2 weeks (until end of Wendler cycle).

You go girl!!

Springfield1970

I have to say you people are really amazing and loving. It's really hard for people to understand how powerful EDs can be. It's also true, it is going to take a while to get back that wasted away muscle

MaRuby you're very inspiring to me! I feel what you're going through. I'm too terrified to even step on the scale but I ain't backing down. I keep knocking 100 cals off a day so no more bulking for me but I'm quite into my shape,strength and the amount of food I'm eating and will keep things stable if I can.

yogaga1

Woke up feeling a bit better about things today. Going to eat maintenance today and tomorrow and see how I feel. Seriously considering going back to bulking calories for another 2 weeks (until end of Wendler cycle).