Push Presents?

qhiggins86

So this was a relatively new concept to me, but after reading around the baby birth boards I guess it's a real thing. My sister-in-law actually talked to my husband before I could tell him about it, and she's been bugging him about what he's going to get me. Now, to understand my husband, he's the mr. anti-establishment kinda guy. He hates getting flowers or jewelry (although he'll still get them for me because they make me happy), things he considers corny or thoughtless... I've accepted it for whatever it is, because he shows his romanticism in different ways.

Those of you who have children already, have your significant others given you push presents? My husband asked me what I would like and begged that it not be jewelry... LOL. So I'm starting to look for functional things like a FitBit or the BodyMedia devices to help me get back into shape after the baby comes.

TLCEsq

We had heard about this and had friends who did it. I don't really see a need for it personally, but if other people want to do it then more power to them! My husband has never bought me jewelry except for my actual wedding ring which I picked out, haha. He has gotten me flowers a few times. I think having a healthy baby is present enough in and of itself, but I also understand that pregnancy and labor is exhausting and it's kind of cool to have something to look forward to afterwards. We were so busy right after our son was born last year and my husband got sick and had to go to the ER downstairs while I was recovering in postpartum... maybe a push present would've been nice, haha!

qhiggins86

That's too funny... I designed and picked my own engagement ring to make it easier for him too. He also thinks having a healthy baby is the push present. I'm not going to press him for it because it won't mean anything if I feel like I forced him to get it for me.

KimberlyTG2

We had read about them, but were to broke by the time we bought all the baby stuff. I think it would be sweet to get something related to the baby, like with their birth stone or something

MandyMason7

I have two other kids and we never did push presents, I never even mentioned them to my husband but one of his friend's mentioned it to him this time and asked him what he was getting me. He came home and told me about it and asked me to start thinking of things I may want. I told him what I'd really like is a bracelet from Origami Owl to go with the necklace I got for Christmas and he was sold on that. So, for the first time, I am actually getting a push present. I think it's kind of fitting though as this will be our last child so it'll be a nice way to finalize our baby making.

spunkychelsea

We had heard of them and discussed them and decided it was pointless for us. He buys me presents, I've gotten nice earrings for an anniversary. My wedding ring, I don't need a lot of fancy things. For my 30th birthday I told him to buy me some oversized beach towels. I don't go to the beach, but it's always nice to have a big towel or two. I'm fairly simple. I feel a healthy baby is a good push present. My husband has been a wonderful support to me during my labors, that to me is the best present he could ever get me. If he were to get me something I would be fine with it, but honestly he does all the diapers in the hospital and him and my mom take turns the first two weeks usually (I hadn't changed my son until he was 2 weeks old!). I got to nurse and recover and they got to do that part. THAT is best friggen present. I recommend all husbands and helpers do this.

Has anyone warned you how long it may take you to go to the bathroom after you have a baby? It took me 10 minutes to pee after the kids. I needed stitches both times. First pee, then use a water bottle, then pat dry, change pad, use numbing spray, witch hazel pads. It's an ordeal. Don't know why I'm throwing this out there but that's what surprised me greatly. Anyways! Sorry!

MandyMason7

My husband has been a wonderful support to me during my labors, that to me is the best present he could ever get me. If he were to get me something I would be fine with it, but honestly he does all the diapers in the hospital and him and my mom take turns the first two weeks usually (I hadn't changed my son until he was 2 weeks old!). I got to nurse and recover and they got to do that part. THAT is best friggen present. I recommend all husbands and helpers do this.

My husband is the exact same way. I've never changed a diaper in the hospital and he is the most amazing person on the planet while I'm on maternity leave. He cooks all meals, does all shopping, stays up late/gets up early, gets baby to bring him to me to nurse. He is seriously A-MAZING when we have a newborn. I wish all women had men like that when they have babies.

qhiggins86

My husband has been a wonderful support to me during my labors, that to me is the best present he could ever get me. If he were to get me something I would be fine with it, but honestly he does all the diapers in the hospital and him and my mom take turns the first two weeks usually (I hadn't changed my son until he was 2 weeks old!). I got to nurse and recover and they got to do that part. THAT is best friggen present. I recommend all husbands and helpers do this.

Has anyone warned you how long it may take you to go to the bathroom after you have a baby? It took me 10 minutes to pee after the kids. I needed stitches both times. First pee, then use a water bottle, then pat dry, change pad, use numbing spray, witch hazel pads. It's an ordeal. Don't know why I'm throwing this out there but that's what surprised me greatly. Anyways! Sorry!

OMG... if there were a way to know that my husband would do this, screw a push present! I guess I need to have a convo with my hubby about what we think our roles are once the baby comes... otherwise I see myself getting upset or expecting he do things we hadn't discussed. I don't know about yall, but my husband is terrible at reading minds! :laugh:

Also... I'm all about getting info where I can get it, and weirdly, in any detail people are willing to share about after birth. All my friends who have had babies are pretty hush hush about that kinda stuff and I want to know ways to handle myself. My family thinks it's cute that I've invited my mom to stay with me for the first month or so after the baby's born... but none of them know that I just want my mommy there to help me!!! LOL

spunkychelsea

@Mandy Mason - My husband is super good about up early/up late too. With the first baby we were usually both up, but he would sleep for an hour or two at a time, so we could rest. Second baby wouldn't sleep without being held. So we did shifts. OMG, they were horrible, but in a way we didn't mind. We did alternating 3 hour shifts (AND he was still going to work! - my mom stayed to help during the day but she was useless at night) he said he liked that he could watch all HIS shows (Star Trek that I wont watch) and have bonding time with the new baby. And same, he brings me the baby to nurse in bed, then takes baby away. I am very blessed to have so much support in him. People think we're crazy to be on number 3, we live in CA where it seems everyone thinks that 2 babies is the norm (though I have several friends with more my family was super surprised when we announced this one) and while I know it's hard work I have the support I need so I know it'll be fine. Other parents who their husband has changed 5 diapers and the baby is a year old? I might freak at having several small babies.

@ qhiggins glad random info is welcome! LOL, yes I much prefer the support to a present. My husband has literally yelled at his male coworkers in his office for not changing enough diapers and shames them. I honestly didn't know what to expect before first baby, and we didn't really talk about it. BUt I was so rough after birth (and nursing hurt so much I cried everytime he latched) I was pretty much useless except for feeding baby and limping around. Our pattern worked well for us: baby wakes up I would go to the bathroom (it's good to go regularly and frequently early on - so this ended up being like every 2-3 hours) he would change the baby then I would limp to bed and he would bring me a clean hungry baby. Multitasking at it's best. Nursing hurt me for a good 3 months with both kids. I apparently have very sensitive nipples. I had 3 different lactation consultants come in with my son (1 came each day while you were there just to chekc on you) and all said he had a good latch and it would just be painful for a while. Go home day 3, go back to the lactation consultants day 5 becuase my nipples were bleeding and he was throwing up pink milk. Lovely, right? I was concerned for him more than me but was "reassured" when I was told babies can eat a lot of blood and ibuprofen. So I got to take meds and they told me he had a good latch but bad manners (he would latch, pop off, latch, pop off stretching my nipples and hurting like hell) so they showed me how to literally hold him to me and not let him back off (FORCE that baby to feed!). At one point the lactation consultant had her hands on my boobs, my mom took me and the LC was showing her how to help so her hands were on my boob, my son's hands were on my boob. I looked at them and said "With 8 hands on my boobs this does not feel beautiful or natural." I also used a nipple shield for a week or two to let them heal and went topless a lot (it was June and 100 outside) to let them air and dry. This helped tons. The pain though stayed, but it did lessen over time. I nursed him 13.5 months until he quit when I was 16 weeks pregnant with my daughter. My daughter is almost 13 months and nurses 3 times a day currently even though I dont think there's much left. I'm telling you this in case you really do want to nurse (it's ultimately your and your baby's choice and I am of the firm belief as long as you feed your baby I don't care how you do it) and it sucks it can get better with help and time. My mother was horrible when it came to this. All she would say is if you're doing it right it shouldn't hurt (NOT true all the time - it can be true which is why I kept getting help - but they told me he was fine I was just going to hurt) and that she didn't remember it hurting. Thanks, thats not helpful, and telling me that EVERYTIME I cringe for days just made me feel like a failure. I finally told her not to use that line anymore and she said it less at least. My mom typically takes the first week off and my husband works and then takes the following 3-4 weeks off. Don't know why it works out like that but it does. She does cooking, cleaning, diaper changing, and taking cafe of the older kid(s). Any help is big help as long as they don't make you feel bad or step on toes. I hope your mom is a Huge help

MandyMason7

@Mandy Mason - My husband is super good about up early/up late too. With the first baby we were usually both up, but he would sleep for an hour or two at a time, so we could rest. Second baby wouldn't sleep without being held. So we did shifts. OMG, they were horrible, but in a way we didn't mind. We did alternating 3 hour shifts (AND he was still going to work! - my mom stayed to help during the day but she was useless at night) he said he liked that he could watch all HIS shows (Star Trek that I wont watch) and have bonding time with the new baby. And same, he brings me the baby to nurse in bed, then takes baby away. I am very blessed to have so much support in him. People think we're crazy to be on number 3, we live in CA where it seems everyone thinks that 2 babies is the norm (though I have several friends with more my family was super surprised when we announced this one) and while I know it's hard work I have the support I need so I know it'll be fine. Other parents who their husband has changed 5 diapers and the baby is a year old? I might freak at having several small babies.

Lol, I live in California too and am also on baby #3 (our last!)

spunkychelsea

Lol, I live in California too and am also on baby #3 (our last!)

Do you feel as judged? I am more by my family it feels than friends (I was asked if I was a glutton for punishment). Most of their second babies were accidents and they made sure not to have another. I thought this would be our last, I was convinced, told everyone we were done. Then I found out we're having a girl and I'm not sure if we need to try for another boy. We will see what happens after she gets here, but we are choosing to put permanent methods off for now.

MandyMason7

I don't feel judged but I think that's because my husband comes from a huge family. He's the oldest of 6 kids, his sister is pregnant with baby #4 (they want 6) currently. I'm an only child but the rest of my side of the family all have 2 kids each. I'm getting my tubes tied when they're done with my C-section this time.