New Vegan and Falling off the Wagon =(

VeganMotoGirl

I have been dancing around going vegan for years now. In the last year I have been through some things that made me bring my life into focus and I did not want to keep wishing I could be vegan. I made the decision just over a week ago but I have already fallen off the waggon and had to jump back on. I find that I can do it when I am prepared and have my meals all made up so they are easy to grab when I am hungry. But when I don't have something made, or my husband (meat eater) wants to grill something. I am giving in out of politeness and also laziness. How can I work past the fear that I will insult someone if I tell them I don't want to eat what they are. I am just going to have to bring my own meals everywhere?

BobbyDaniel

I'm the only one eating vegan in my house right now, which makes it interesting since my wife tries to eat gluten free and my kids think bacon is a food group by itself. I just let them know up front I'm eating this way because I want to, and not to be offended if I choose not to even take a taste of what they have even though they might think it is as close to heaven as they have ever been. I also make sure I have ample amounts of plant strong alternatives on hand, which usually means a freezer full of frozen veggies that I can steam in a hurry and get filled up on.
As for others outside the home, I'm eating this way for dietary reasons and not ethical, so I probably have a little more leeway on that end. I have to be flexible because of the job I do and I realize that people are just trying to be nice and here in the south that is done often with food. So, this weekend I will be eating one of the largest lasagna's any person will ever see because the dear lady who is making it simply wants to love on us.
In some cases though, I simply try to bring my own alternatives or find some creative way to skip out.
Just don't feel like you are a failure, it really is a process and like learning to walk you will fall a few times!

deb3129

All I can say, is hang in there. It does get easier. I have been plant based for almost two years, and I live in a house with four others who are not. At first it was really hard, but over time it has gotten easier. Planning ahead really does help. And I always carry my owns snacks and stuff with me when I am going to be away from home. Eating out is hard, but you learn what places make it easier, and a lot of places will work with you and make something you can eat.

Don't beat yourself up about falling off the wagon. I think it happens to a lot of people when they are starting out. And even if you fall of the wagon and eat something sometimes that is not vegan, you are still doing a lot of good by avoiding it most of the time. It does get easier, I promise!!

thatpixichick

Make big quantities of things you can pop in the fridge/freezer for easy reheating and eating later. Stir fry, curry, chili, and soup are all great and there's so many varieties! Make sure you have plenty of fruit and veg to snack on (you could ready prepare those too in little easy to grab pots) and ensure you have alternatives to all your hubby's meals, such as veggie burgers.

Don't beat yourself up too much, keep trying and it'll eventually come naturally.

Edit: Oh and don't forget how super easy it is to whip up some pasta with veggies and tomato sauce! Minimal effort for a really good filling meal

HurricaneLindsay

There is so much social baggage with going vegan! Don't beat yourself up about slip-ups, there is no such thing as a 'perfect' vegan.

It helps to know why you want to be vegan (ethical, health, environmental, etc) and have a prepared response about your lifestyle/dietary decision, what it entails, and why (ex: I'm a strict vegan for ethical and animal rights' reasons, that means I don't consume any eggs, cheese, milk, dairy, meat or seafood).

I have always struggled with refusing food / insulting people, but the Our Hen House podcast (highly recommended!) said something this holiday season that helped me. They said when family is pressuring you to try their food, apologize that you do not consume that anymore and thank them for making it to share with everyone else. If it's your Grandma's classic casserole you've had before, tell her you remember enjoying the dish in the past, and you hope someday to veganize it yourself so you can enjoy with everyone else. Or it was something to that extent, I'm sure I'm butchering it!

My family has been really accommodating (took years though), and my friends are starting to get. My fiance and I have people over for dinner a lot to show them vegan food is not so weird or scary! Dinner invites are not very frequent, but I always contact the host before to tell them I'm vegan and what that entails, and then immediately offer to bring something to share.

Best of luck!

heidi555

hi
don't worry about slip ups in the beginning it will get easier.
I'm not a great planner but if your husbands grills often would keep a few grilling goodies on hand for u like:
portabella mushrooms
veggie burgers
corn on the cob
etc.

everyone who i visit for dinner knows that i will most likely bring a pasta dish or something to share at gatherings.
If i don't have time to cook i just bring something for myself.

often at holidays i eat the sides as long as they are roasted veggies in olive oil or the like..

hang in there

SleepySin

For the first 7 of my 9 years being vegan, I lived at home with my family. It wasn't easy in the beginning having to constantly explain what I wouldn't eat - both at home, at work and out at restaurants. At that time, veganism isn't nearly as mainstream as it is now.

I never "fell off the bandwagon" so-to-speak (at least not knowingly) and I was always bringing on the inquisition when I went out to restaurants. For a person who used to be shy about speaking up, this has actually made me much more bold in public settings and I'm grateful for it.

Before feeling shame or guilt for not fitting in with the crowd, the most important thing to remember is WHY you became vegan. If it's for your health, there's absolutely no reason you shouldn't speak up. Imagine having a child who has asthma and a person nearby at a restaurant was smoking. I'd have two choices: either leave the restaurant, speak to the staff, or raise all sorts of hell if they didn't stop upon request.

If it's for ethical and moral beliefs, could you imagine Mother Theresa stoning a person because everyone else pressured her into it? Of course not. You stand up for your beliefs because they are what make you, YOU.

Or perhaps it's for environmental reasons - you're doing your part in not destroying the planet for your benefit and the benefit of future generations. Who can argue that?

SleepySin

I am just going to have to bring my own meals everywhere?

^^In response to this question in particular..

In the beginning, you might have to. As everyone has said though, it becomes easier with time. You'll know what to prepare and how to nourish yourself at the same time. As for eating out, you're going to either go to strict vegan restaurants (good luck unless you live in a vegan-friendly city like NYC or Portland) or start learning to speak up for yourself. Most restaurants don't label vegan options, nor do they list non-vegan items being included into dishes that are potentially vegan (by reading the titles/descriptions).

VeganMotoGirl

Excellent advice, everyone!

I was choosing to be vegan for mostly health reasons at first. I have had minor health issues for some time and recently I had a major medical event that changed a lot og my thinking. Long story short and I believe that the vegan lifestyle will help improve my life and health. I was self-conscious and indecisive about my choices and was cheating here and there on things that I had left in my pantry or fridge; trying to justify with statements about "not wasting food", or "this is the last time".

My last and final slip up was a Super Bowl get-together with my in-aws. They made SO MUCH food: Ribs, Chicken Wings, Meat Balls, Cheese Stuffed peppers and loaded potato skins and more. This is the way I used to eat and the way they still eat and I was too afraid of what they would think to say anything. I cheated and I felt so guilty after eating it I was actually thinking about purging it. But I thought twice about how stupid and destructive that would be and I just sulked about it the rest of the night.

This past week I have been feeling so guilty for not standing up for myself I could think of nothing else. I was questioning my reasons and my resolve. I was scouring the internet for more information either to bolster my beliefs or to kill them. I watched the Earthlings Documentary which was very powerful and I swore off all animal products in the first 20 mins with tears flowing down my face.

Now a week later, I am seeing more clearly and the emotional wave has passed some. I feel so much better about my slip up, I realize I am only human and I am bound to make mistakes in the beginning. I am also feeling empowered to make the changes I want to make without fear of what others will think. I started by telling a close friend about my decision to go vegan, my reasons and my plan. He was confused and does not agree with my choice, but he said he is happy if I'm happy. It went better than I though it would and am encouraged to tell my family the seriousness of my resolve and the changes that means are coming in my household.