Are we taking "active" steps to NOT be single?!?

becs3578

I was asked by someone about a year ago... if I was taking active steps to "not be single". The answer then was NO. I was overweight, unhappy and lacked any confidence in myself as a attractive and desirable person. In the last year that has changed and I am trying to take an active roll in my own happiness. Losing weight, getting healthy, smiling, enjoying life, and finally putting myself out there.

I re-joined match.com (first time I joined I never worked up the courage to met any man in person) last fall started at least making an effort to do something. I went on 3 coffee dates with three different gentleman.. and ended up in a 4 months relationship that is just now ending (I forgot how horrible it is to break up with someone that wants to stay with you). But I am not giving up.... I am going to take a month or two to work on me a little more intensely.

Do you guys have any ideas of other ways we can "actively do" to work on our own selfs and then gets us out there so somebody can see that too?!?

darrensurrey

Only in so much as I go to social events. Never seem to meet women that interest me, though.

grum84

Not taking any active steps right now. Just went through a breakup of a 10 month relationship where we were both very happy, but the timing (and now distance) just wasn't right.

So just taking time to try and focus back on myself, and just find myself again. Once I am back in a happy place with myself, then I will start looking to add someone else into that mix.

CTcutie

You can try Meetup.com, though where I live it seems to be female-dominated.
Volunteer work (I am considering Habitat for Humanity, or something else that seems more man-friendly!).
Maybe golf lessons (thinking of doing this in April).
If you have a dog (or can borrow a dog) the dog park.
Happy hours/karaoke/trivia, etc.

Running at parks, hiking, happy hours/sports bars, joining a running club (ended up being all women) other volunteer work (seems like women and couples only volunteer near me, too!) and in general being open and receptive to meeting new people hasn't helped me YET, but hey- hoping eventually it will! Also- if you are using Match anyway, try their Stir Events... I am going to a Mystery Meal Competition thing in a couple of weeks.

SAR4Life

Just keep living your life and doing what you want..if you meet someone while doing what you enjoy, you already have something in common. The idea of Meetup groups is great cause there are groups for anything you can imagine so you do what you enjoy and maybe meet someone in the process.

justifit

I swear I am. LOL! I promise. If I see something I like I smile, make eye contact or give a simple hello. That to me is 50% of it. It's up to the guy after that. I can't do all the work. I don't know what else to say. Someone will catch on, I guess. Until then I will keep being the happy free person that I am. It's a win win!

Lisa29100

I pulled my online profile about three weeks ago after four intense months of trying to find just ONE guy I wanted to spend quality time with and take it somewhere. What I got was meeting at least 20 guys who clearly had sex on the brain more than anything else. Didn't matter the age... all came down to sex.

Honestly, it has made me feel like I'm not worthy of anything more than dinner and sex. I understand I'm obese, but I still have feelings. So I've decided to take a break and put that extra time into losing weight. I started on Jan. 1 but now I just have more time. Online dating is very techy and different, but there's something so great about a guy having the confidence to just walk up in a public setting and tell you exactly what he feels. He knows nothing about you until that moment.

Has anyone else experieced this? Does how you're treated really come down to size?