Would you use this dating site?

jesusHchris

I know girls always complain about getting a flood of messages from guys and guys always complain about spending time writing a sincere message and having it ignored. Different sites have tried different methods to cut down on this, while others like Tinder actively encourage mindless matching.

If this site existed, would you use it? I need a project for a class I'm in and have been tossing this idea around for a while. Basically, the idea is two-fold:

- Ensure people are sincere about their messaging
- Make the world a better place

Here's how it works:

- User “Steve” searches for women in his area based on age, interests, favorite charities, etc
- Steve comes across user “Amy” and thinks they have a lot in common
- Steve clicks “Bid” on Amy’s profile and offers 5 credits to one of her favorite charities, which he selects from a list
- Steve is allowed to write an introduction letter to Amy with the bid
- Amy views Steve’s profile and intro letter. She is interested in going on a date with him. She clicks “Accept Bid” and the credits are deducted from Steve’s account. In 5 days time, assuming nothing goes wrong, the credits are allocated to the proper charity
- Both users are now allowed to communicate freely
- Both users are able to rate the date after the fact and Amy is given the opportunity to match the contribution
- Eventually, perhaps the site could have features like linking users up with volunteer events for a first date
- The introductory letter might have to be based on trust that the users will not attempt to circumvent donation process, or maybe some additional thought is needed here

Roadie2000

I like the concept, seems like you could actually meet some decent people.

But what's to stop Amy from accepting the bid and then just ignoring any further correspondence? I can't count the number of times someone has agreed to go out with me but flaked when I tried to set up the date or canceled at the last minute. Maybe in order to have open communication Amy could be required to give a certain amount of credits to his charity as well?

JanieJack

Neat idea!

My first thought was "oh yeah I'd totally use that" and then I stopped and thought about it... the last couple guys I enjoyed going out with for any length of time (including my current BF) aren't big into volunteering like I am so I'm not sure they would have been on such a site. OTOH, if they were looking for a way to meet a "nice girl" and this kind of thing was available then maybe they would be willing to pony up the funds (even if they didn't really care about charity...?)

jesusHchris

Thanks guys.

Yeah, the idea of someone flaking after someone made a contribution is one that needs to be addressed. I've got to brainstorm around that a bit.

Janie, I think guys would definitely pony up even if they are not interested in the charity. There is already a successful site that operates a lot like this where the money goes to the girls and not to charity. I hate that idea though - guys don't want to feel like they are hiring an escort for a date, but dudes with cash don't mind spending some to stand out from the crowd.

JanieJack

There is already a successful site that operates a lot like this where the money goes to the girls and not to charity.

ewwwww.

I totally would NOT be on that site. I would feel like if a guy paid money to go out with me he would expect something, not unlike many women feel like a man would expect if he treats her to dinner/the night out.

PS: this is NOT to say a woman owes a man sexual favors for taking her out on a date (even if he pays). "after all that money I spent on dinner I deserve a little something (really?? $20 at Macaroni Grill entitles you to get in my pants?? whateva) In my whole life I've only had three guys feel that way - one in college and two before I met BB.

castadiva

Yeah, the idea of someone flaking after someone made a contribution is one that needs to be addressed. I've got to brainstorm around that a bit.

Could the credit to the charity maybe go through after the date? Eg. the bidder and bid-ee both have to confirm that the date/telephone conversation/whatever other interaction has taken place, then the credit is donated. Just a thought - sounds like a good idea.

krash999

Yeah, the idea of someone flaking after someone made a contribution is one that needs to be addressed. I've got to brainstorm around that a bit.

Could the credit to the charity maybe go through after the date? Eg. the bidder and bid-ee both have to confirm that the date/telephone conversation/whatever other interaction has taken place, then the credit is donated. Just a thought - sounds like a good idea.

What is to stop the guy from being a jerk and not clicking that there has been followup activity. i mean, it sounds like an awesome concept, but there will always be ways around, and some people will always try to "cheat the system"

jesusHchris

What is to stop the guy from being a jerk and not clicking that there has been followup activity. i mean, it sounds like an awesome concept, but there will always be ways around, and some people will always try to "cheat the system"

I'd assume those people would just use another dating site that is more popular and has more a-holes like themselves. But you bring up a good point. There would have to be full visibility from both parties on the donation status. If the dude flakes out of the donation somehow, the girl would know.

There would definitely be a degree of trust required for this type of site, though.

pa_jorg

Wow, I like the general idea of this!

What if there was an initial investment (i.e. time or money) to a charity that has to be verified before/when you first sign up? Not foolproof, but anything that adds an extra step might help avoid people who aren't serious.

MissingMinnesota

I like the idea and would hope that the selection was based on charity and volunteering would reduce the amount of jerks that would circumvent the system.
I also think it would depend on how much they are having to pay per interaction.