what keeps you going even on your worse days?!?!?

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So a little about me!! . My mom had passed away in december 2011 after a battle with cancer 10 days after my youngest was born. At first I was so busy with my daughter and by new born son that i didnt grieve for my mom. In january 2012 My step brother went missing on 3rd january and was found hanging from a tree 4 days later.

over the next year i comfort ate and tried pretty much every anti depressant going. In september 2012 i felt like i couldnt carry on living like i was. I felt numb to every emotion and felt like a bad mother and wife. it was a sunday when i got a bottle of wine and all my antidepressants and took an overdose. I by no means wanted to die i just needed someone to realise that i needed help and with the frame of mind i was in this seemed like the only way! All throughout my moms illness and my pregnancy and afterwards every one kept saying how well i was coping little did they know i was crumbling inside!

It wasnt until that overdose that i realised i had hit rock bottom and the only way was up. It still took me another 2 months before i finally plucked up the courage to do something. I joined a local gym on 22nd december 2012 aimed to go at least once a week more if i could fit it in round work commitments. I started at 280lb/ 127.3kg/20 stone and as of today im 207lb/94.1kg/14stone 11lb.

It has been hard work and at points i want to give up but then i think back to when i was at rock bottom and know i dont want to go back there again! Ive had bad weeks (over summer of 2013 i maintained for around 20weeks. id lose a pound gain a pound but always stayed around 16 stone) over christmas i went from 220 to 225 but then in january up till now ive lost on average of 1-2lb a week taking me to 18lb loss since new years day.

I am struggling at the moment as ive been at 207 for nearly 2 weeks now. (ive increased activity as normally do a couple of mile runs and then pt session but over next 4 weeks im at bootcamp 3 times a week and running at least once a week.) so i know it will soon start coming off again but when u feel crap it seems like it will never come off!! i can remember being 20stone and crying at my husband saying ill never get into 18 stones then it happened same with 17stone, 16stones,15 stones and now 14 stones.

Although i still have a lot of weight to lose i can finally see the light at the end of the long and dark tunnel that is weight loss. I will be the first one to admit i eat things that i really shouldnt at times and sometimes to excessive amounts but what keeps me going is my kids, my husband, my family and the urge inside me to want to be a better person!

It might take me another 2-3 years to get to my ultimate goal of 154lb/70kg/11 stone but i know with the support of my family/friends/ personal trainer and you guys i know ill get there!!!

Heres a few pictures to show you where i started and where i am now xx

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Start december 2012

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Now

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Start 2012

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Now

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And Finally Only lost 1lb?!?!?!? Look at this!!!

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Replies

  • HannahAliHealth
    HannahAliHealth Posts: 142 Member
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    Wow! You are such an inspiration person! You are so beautiful too! God bless you and your lovers! I respect you so much and I'm seeing my self through those pictures since we almost start at the same wait!

    Thanks for sharing and push me up! Thanks for believing and trying so hard! You've touched my heart and soul!
    I know you gonna reach your goal and be the healthy mom, wife and person!

    Good luck to us:flowerforyou:
    Hannah:wink:
  • hippiechic2
    hippiechic2 Posts: 12 Member
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    Wonderful! your are amazing!
  • Norella23
    Norella23 Posts: 27 Member
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    You are an inspiration!

    Exactly what I needed given it has been 20 days and I've not even lost 1 kg. It could be water weight but still I won't give up and need to up my exercise!

    Please never stop even when you have crappy days. If you want to cheat, at least, try to cheat within limits/portion size even if its food that is not really good for you. At least, that's what I try to do!

    Good luck!!
  • grandmothercharlie
    grandmothercharlie Posts: 1,361 Member
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    What keeps me going? MrsWard, I think now you do! :flowerforyou:
  • curvy_b3lle
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    Such an inspirational person! Thank you for sharing your story. I am really looking forward to seeing your success story at your final weigh in!

    My boyfriend, my many mfp friends and my goal to have my outside match my inside is what is making me keep going! :drinker:
  • mrsward2010
    mrsward2010 Posts: 61 Member
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    thanks every one!! Sometimes you struggle to keep going when numbers arent going down (ive been at 207lb for 2 weeks now and its just not shifting!) but you know what its just a case of keeping going!!! lets do it!!!!!!
  • HannahAliHealth
    HannahAliHealth Posts: 142 Member
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    What keeps me going this week is I'm watching a lot of transformations videos on YT and I like it! I really wanna have before and after picture :D

    Good luck to us ????????????
  • Jossies01
    Jossies01 Posts: 81 Member
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    When I first started 3 weeks ago I kept going because I liked the feeling of being proud of myself for pushing through. But as of a week ago and my first before and now photo comparison, I now push through it because i'm excited to see my next photo comparison and see how much body has changed.