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  • farmers_daughter
    farmers_daughter Posts: 1,632 Member
    JK "Welcome Back" I'm such a jerk for thinking this, but I've done that to guys before. Oh man. I don't mean it in a bad way, but :sad: to me..

    No personal info goes on mine, I'm truly leery to hand out my phone number too. Just too much drama. Texting is exclusive to people I know, and like. LOL

    I do have a guy who repeatedly comes back and says "hi" or whatever, and I keep telling him "Chris - No" I've been exceptionally polite in the past but the danged kid can't remember who I am, and asks how I know him. He's not slow, he's just a butt, who only wants a piece of booty. I rarely change my pic.

    I suppose I just have an ungodly memory.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    @ronnie - I would never tell someone 'I'm not interested' neither would I want anyone to tell me 'I'm not interested'.

    I think it's perfectly acceptable that no reply MEANS you're not interested!! I get your point about not ignoring someone if they came up to you in person, however, I'd still not utter those words, I'd make it obvious some other way but cutting the conversation short or something.

    Why would you want to see the words written out for you?? Isn't it obvious?
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member

    I think I've been on and off POF for too long. I have had guys send me a message just to say "welcome back".:laugh:

    That's funny! :laugh:
  • ronnieboling
    ronnieboling Posts: 6
    @ronnie - I would never tell someone 'I'm not interested' neither would I want anyone to tell me 'I'm not interested'.

    I think it's perfectly acceptable that no reply MEANS you're not interested!! I get your point about not ignoring someone if they came up to you in person, however, I'd still not utter those words, I'd make it obvious some other way but cutting the conversation short or something.

    Why would you want to see the words written out for you?? Isn't it obvious?

    Yea, I understand what you're saying, and I suppose the only way to know that you were blocked us to try to send another message after you didn't get a response the first time.

    I've been a member for a couple of years now and sometimes I forget that I've tried to message someone before and they didn't respond. Like I said earlier I kinda wish if someone blocked you, you couldn't see them anymore.

    I think personally I've only blocked 2 people.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    @ronnie - I would never tell someone 'I'm not interested' neither would I want anyone to tell me 'I'm not interested'.

    I think it's perfectly acceptable that no reply MEANS you're not interested!! I get your point about not ignoring someone if they came up to you in person, however, I'd still not utter those words, I'd make it obvious some other way but cutting the conversation short or something.

    Why would you want to see the words written out for you?? Isn't it obvious?

    Yea, I understand what you're saying, and I suppose the only way to know that you were blocked us to try to send another message after you didn't get a response the first time.

    I've been a member for a couple of years now and sometimes I forget that I've tried to message someone before and they didn't respond. Like I said earlier I kinda wish if someone blocked you, you couldn't see them anymore.

    I think personally I've only blocked 2 people.

    I've often wondered why guys send another message after I've already not replied but its not something I dwell on. Dont worry about it. Worry about the girls that are interested not the one's that aren't !! :bigsmile:
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    I had a guy message me a few days ago saying "I think I messaged you something silly awhile ago but I'm trying again". I seriously don't remember him messaging me. Fast forward three days, we now have a date next week.
  • AnnaPixie
    AnnaPixie Posts: 7,439 Member
    I had a guy message me a few days ago saying "I think I messaged you something silly awhile ago but I'm trying again". I seriously don't remember him messaging me. Fast forward three days, we now have a date next week.

    So, it's worth trying again?? Or do you think he made that up to grab your attention?? lol
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    I had a guy message me a few days ago saying "I think I messaged you something silly awhile ago but I'm trying again". I seriously don't remember him messaging me. Fast forward three days, we now have a date next week.

    So, it's worth trying again?? Or do you think he made that up to grab your attention?? lol

    I think it's worth trying again!!

    However, I still think he's wrong. My first message to him was 'I don't think you message me before but I'm glad you did this time".
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    I had a guy message me a few days ago saying "I think I messaged you something silly awhile ago but I'm trying again". I seriously don't remember him messaging me. Fast forward three days, we now have a date next week.

    So, it's worth trying again?? Or do you think he made that up to grab your attention?? lol

    I think it's worth trying again!!

    However, I still think he's wrong. My first message to him was 'I don't think you message me before but I'm glad you did this time".

    Ya my guess is he probably couldn't remember, so said it to save face just in case!!!
    Good luck on your date! (or if you had it, how did it go?)
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    Thanks Kim! I did go, in fact we had 4 dates in a week. I truly can't tell you if I'm attracted to him. There are things I like about him and things I don't. After dating someone for 4 years that never told me I was pretty it's nice to hear it. I guess I'll just take it slow- yes four dates in a week isn't slow but I probably won't see him this week (kid week) at all.
  • getitamb
    getitamb Posts: 2,019 Member
    Pof is lame but tinder is slowly catching up . Some guy I didn't know asked me 100 dollars just cayse I was like wtf?
  • Moe4572
    Moe4572 Posts: 1,428 Member
    I tried Tinder, and it would say somebody was 40 miles away, and then if I "liked" them, it would show their "actual" distance--120 miles or more.........so stopped using that
  • LGrill27
    LGrill27 Posts: 337 Member
    Never tried POF or Tinder or any other online site/app. I joined a running/walking group in my area and had three dates in two weeks. (a lot for me) I'm thinking about joining a themed restaurant night, basically a group meets up once a week at a local Mexican/Italian/Seafood etc. themed restaurant for drinks and food.
  • jkandktmom
    jkandktmom Posts: 1,010 Member
    That sounds fun! You're lucky that you are in a big city. Smaller areas don't have as much to offer.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Never tried POF or Tinder or any other online site/app. I joined a running/walking group in my area and had three dates in two weeks. (a lot for me) I'm thinking about joining a themed restaurant night, basically a group meets up once a week at a local Mexican/Italian/Seafood etc. themed restaurant for drinks and food.

    That sounds fun! I would like to do something like that, but not to meet someone to date... not sure my fiancé would like that LOL!!
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    Thanks Kim! I did go, in fact we had 4 dates in a week. I truly can't tell you if I'm attracted to him. There are things I like about him and things I don't. After dating someone for 4 years that never told me I was pretty it's nice to hear it. I guess I'll just take it slow- yes four dates in a week isn't slow but I probably won't see him this week (kid week) at all.

    have you tried meetup?

    Glad things went well.... keep us posted :)
  • silver_arrow3
    silver_arrow3 Posts: 1,373 Member
    @ronnie - I would never tell someone 'I'm not interested' neither would I want anyone to tell me 'I'm not interested'.

    I think it's perfectly acceptable that no reply MEANS you're not interested!! I get your point about not ignoring someone if they came up to you in person, however, I'd still not utter those words, I'd make it obvious some other way but cutting the conversation short or something.

    Why would you want to see the words written out for you?? Isn't it obvious?

    I had been new one one site (I don't remember if it was Match or POF), but I got flooded with messages as new meat and had a really hard time responding to all of them. One guy was pissed that I didn't get around to his fast enough and sent a bunch of follow-up messages about how awful a person I was for not giving him a chance. :noway:

    I went back to POF 10 days ago. After about 4, my account was deleted. I have no idea why. I thought maybe I accidentally deactivated it. Now I can't even make an account without it getting deleted immediately. I'm starting to wonder if one of the ones I didn't get back to fast enough reported me for something just so I got kicked off. It pisses me off because I had been chatting with some decent guys. I've even changed my email address and my username and it just won't work.
  • krash999
    krash999 Posts: 476 Member
    @ronnie - I would never tell someone 'I'm not interested' neither would I want anyone to tell me 'I'm not interested'.

    I think it's perfectly acceptable that no reply MEANS you're not interested!! I get your point about not ignoring someone if they came up to you in person, however, I'd still not utter those words, I'd make it obvious some other way but cutting the conversation short or something.

    Why would you want to see the words written out for you?? Isn't it obvious?

    I had been new one one site (I don't remember if it was Match or POF), but I got flooded with messages as new meat and had a really hard time responding to all of them. One guy was pissed that I didn't get around to his fast enough and sent a bunch of follow-up messages about how awful a person I was for not giving him a chance. :noway:

    I went back to POF 10 days ago. After about 4, my account was deleted. I have no idea why. I thought maybe I accidentally deactivated it. Now I can't even make an account without it getting deleted immediately. I'm starting to wonder if one of the ones I didn't get back to fast enough reported me for something just so I got kicked off. It pisses me off because I had been chatting with some decent guys. I've even changed my email address and my username and it just won't work.

    that's really weird. i just don't understand why someone would report someone for not responding. i mean seriously??? i know, i'm not the normal run of the mill guy that thinks their ... ummm excrement... ya... that works... doesn't stink, so i know i'm gonna get ignored. sure, it sucks, but i know that eventually someone will look beyond how i look and actually see me, or ill lose all this weight and then ill finally get a date, but one way or another, i know i'm not gonna give up.

    after thinking about this for a bit, it could be that somehow your account got hacked and sent out spam messages. mostly those are the only ones i receive, that is the only reason i say something about it. who knows though. you could always try contacting the site and try to figure out what keeps getting your account triggered for deletion.
  • DeeJayTJ
    DeeJayTJ Posts: 355 Member
    i dont ignore anyone, im just brutally honest to them.

    "sorry, im not interested, i read your profile and you have made yourself out to be an overdramatic snob"

    or whatever...
  • sweetcurlz67
    sweetcurlz67 Posts: 1,168 Member
    LOL!!! No WAY!!!! OMG!!!! WOW!!! Hope you never see MY profile! LOL.... actually, I think mine is ok???
  • mickeygirliegirl
    mickeygirliegirl Posts: 302 Member
    I have found that I get more of a rude response if I actually reply that I'm not interested than if I just ignore the messages. Just this week as a matter of fact, a guy who I was completely NOT interested in kept messaging me. I finally just said "I'm not interested, please stop messaging me". I thought, simple and to the point and not really THAT rude. I guess not according to him. He sent me back a message saying "u know what, after looking at ur pictures u aren't all that anyway and ur a major b************h have fun looking for a nice guy or whatever" Yes, that is a direct quote.
  • kimad
    kimad Posts: 3,010 Member
    I have found that I get more of a rude response if I actually reply that I'm not interested than if I just ignore the messages. Just this week as a matter of fact, a guy who I was completely NOT interested in kept messaging me. I finally just said "I'm not interested, please stop messaging me". I thought, simple and to the point and not really THAT rude. I guess not according to him. He sent me back a message saying "u know what, after looking at ur pictures u aren't all that anyway and ur a major b************h have fun looking for a nice guy or whatever" Yes, that is a direct quote.

    Or the ones who you ignore for about 5 mins and then they start sending all these f** crazy messages back.
    Buddy you sent your email 5 mins ago, give the girl some time to respond, now I definately don't want too....
  • JanieJack
    JanieJack Posts: 3,831 Member
    it's not difficult to send a message to say "I'm not interested"

    I've had the same experience others noted: the few times I did respond "I'm not interested" the guys were VERY rude in their responses. I stopped responding if I wasn't interested.

    If I wasn't interested for a "solvable" reason (like their divorce not finalized yet or they're a certain rank in the military) then I would write back something like "call me when you're officially single" or "call me when you retire wink" but make it clear that I wouldn't see them any time soon.

    (note: I normally wouldn't encourage someone who posts on a dating site while still married, but I was living in Louisiana at the time and their divorce laws are weird)

    Going back to the original post… I met more great guys through Match than I did any of the free sites, though I met a guy who is still a friend today through Craigslist of all places. I had a horrible experience with eHarmony (way more expensive than Match) and also very poor experience with ChristianMingle (strangely, the guys on Match were more respectful of my Christian boundaries).

    A lot of online dating is the way you present yourself in the profile. A while back, we did a thing where people posted their profiles and we helped them edit. I'd love to do that again if anyone wants to send me their profile or, better yet, post it here.

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