Week 4 March 26-April 1st

DragonflyF15

How are you guys doing? Fell off the wagon? That's ok, get back on
We are now past the half way point and I'm encouraged as I have lost 8lbs since the beginning of March. I read this today to help you along with your weight loss and being healthier journey:
"Skip the second cocktail. When you have a drink, you burn less fat, and more slowly than usual, because the alcohol is used as fuel instead. Knocking back the equivalent of about two martinis can reduce your body's fat-burning ability by up to 73%."

Hmm, so empty calories from drinking the stuff. Added calories from impaired judgments on food choices. And now it's slowing my metabolism down?

Anyways, hope everyone is hanging in there. 22 more days! 3 more weekends! You've got this!

Marigny23

A bear went over the mountain. A bear went over the mountain. A bear went over the Mmmooouuunnntttaaaiiinnn, and we went over the hill!!! Yay, we are more than halfway there!

I haven't fallen off the wagon yet which I am very happy for. I wasn't sure how I would handle going this long without drinking, hadn't done it in quite some time. I have certainly enjoyed some of the benefits of cutting alcohol from my diet. I have lost 6 pounds since the beginning of March which has been great! It has also caused me to reevaluate drinking as a whole. It has been a reality check to recognize that you can have just as much fun without alcohol as with it. Also, alcohol will not fix a bad party or resolve stressful situations - only provide a temporary relief, oftentimes followed by a bigger down.

However, in spite of this positive movement I find my attitude has been rather poor lately, and I have really been tempted to go off the wagon. Things have been extremely hectic and stressful lately between work and also buying a home (wow, that is a painful process!). At the same time, as stated, I know that alcohol won't cure these stresses, though that reality doesn't make me want to drink any less. I think I may be coming down sick and am hoping my gloomy outlook is just a passing symptom attributed to the fatigue.

Obviously, my feelings are very mixed right now. I would like a drink quite badly to calm my nerves at the end of the day, and at the same time, don't have much desire to drink because I know it won't really make me feel better. Wow. I make little sense. I guess it's the impulse side of the brain vs. the rational.

This weekend, I have the feeling I will be asleep before 8:00 Friday night. I am exhausted! I don't think I could stay awake to drink a bourbon if I tried! But Saturday I do have a dinner party with a group of friends. We are all part time culinary students who gather once a month to cook together, socialize, and drink plenty of wine. I picked up a bottle of Fre for myself which I have never had. Kinda funny, but I got carded for it. I don't usually even get carded anymore when I'm buying booze!

I thought the temptation would be overwhelming being at the party with all of the wine, but now I'm not sure. I was around other people who were drinking this past weekend and I didn't feel in any way "left out" or as f I weren't having as much fun. In fact, I didn't really even want any. It'll be interesting to see how I feel Saturday. Usually we hang around after dinner and enjoy a good bit of wine. If the temptation is too strong, I plan to just excuse myself and call it an early night. Wish me luck!

DragonflyF15

Will be thinking of you. Which of the Fre did you pick up? I like their Chardonnay to go with dinners, which is funny cause I don't like regular chardonnay, rarely drink whites. It's refreshing and crisp. Probably make a good base for a peach sangria. If I go red, usually do the red blend. Not sure about the merlot. Very berry and tart. Haven't tried the zinfandel yet, saving it for a burger or chili night. You can do this and if you start to get anxious about the drinking, just take a few deep breaths and have a positive affirmation you can stick to.

As for ideas after work, maybe time to make a new habit of coming home and making a spritzer and just sit quietly with some music or maybe time to go for a daily short walk, or yoga. Habits are hard to break, but they can be done when we find replacement activities.

Marigny23

I picked up the red blend, since I prefer red but am not a big fan of Merlot.

I really need to just make some time for myself each evening. It's just that with so much on my plate recently, I've been running around nonstop until the moment I climb in bed (and then I wonder why I can't fall asleep!). I am sure I would be much better served to take 30 mins to unwind beforehand with a spritzer, walk, 30 mins of television, etc

Marigny23

Last night was the cooking lesson/dinner party, and I was very discouraged by how difficult it was for me to abstain from alcohol. I did make it through the night without falling off the wagon, but it was just extremely difficult. I received more peer pressure and kick back than I expected I would. Despite showing up with my bottle of alcohol free wine and making my intentions clear, people were still trying to get me to join in the drinking - which was difficult to pass up as they uncorked bottle after bottle of extremely fine wines.

The cooking lesson itself was frustrating, as they chose a rather hard lesson plan and everyone quit midway through except for one other person and myself (trust me, I wanted to throw in the towel too, but felt bad leaving her alone). So while everyone else relaxed on the patio enjoying the nice weather and fine wines, I was frantic in the kitchen for about 3 hours, and somewhat frustrated and exhausted by the time dinner was even ready to serve.

Of course, with or without wine, I enjoy the opportunity to spend time with close friends. However, I barely even got to to that, seeing as they left two of us in the kitchen to do the work, and by the time dinner was served, I was exhausted and they were all pretty drunk (or at least at my end of the table). The conversations consisted of philosophical revelations by some and slurred lines of thought I couldn't quite seem to understand or keep up with. All in all, I felt really left out. I just couldn't seem to be a part of the party or conversation. I tried to chime in and participate at one point, showing my friend pictures of the new house I am having inspected next week in hopes of buying. My boyfriend himself (who was supposed to be a sober buddy with me… and wasn't - he did pretend to drink Fre at one point. but it was really a nice glass of Malbec), chimed in telling me that "nobody wants to see that". At that point, I was just really ready to go. I couldn't seem to find my place in conversation or social interaction, and I was quite tired from all of the work to prepare the meal.

To top things off, my boyfriend had driven to the party which I didn't think would be an issue since he was participating in this sober exercise with me. I wasn't sure that he was in shape to drive home, but we had brought his rather large truck which I may have backed into a few things in the past… I drive a small car… you kinda forget about the whole 8 foot bed when you drive a truck only on occasion… He told me he only had 2 glasses of wine so I allowed him to drive anyway (after seeing his condition when we got home, I'm pretty sure he had FAR more than 2). Thankfully, we weren't going far, and I made him stay off of the interstate. The ride home included several rolling stops, lack of blinkers, going straight through turn lanes, etc. which made me very uneasy. At one point, he tried to stop next to a car at a red light and yell at the driver next to us who was talking on her cell phone while driving. I really don't think he had the right to be correcting anyone's driving at this point.

I know that my abstaining from alcohol was not the route cause of the majority of my frustrations from the evening, but somehow I tell myself that if I had been drinking it would have been so much better. And that is somewhat true - rather than feel like an outsider, unable to follow the illogical conversations taking place, I would've been mentally right there with the rest - slurred speech and all. I also probably wouldn't have been so concerned about the drive home, and wouldn't have even noticed.

Today, I have mixed feelings. Still somewhat frustrated with my boyfriend's drunken behavior and lack of responsibility. Upset that I feel like I missed out on a fun evening with friends - being unable to keep up with the social interactions at my end of the table. But at the same time, I am glad that I was able to make it through the evening successfully despite the many temptations and wake up clear headed today.

DragonflyF15

I am sorry that you are struggling with this. I looked at your profile and your age and unfortunately that is a time period where many are still in party mode and very immature about drinking. I know, as I was quite the partier at that age. However looking back on hindsight, I wish I had been more responsible with my drinking and lucky to be alive (can't tell you how many times I woke up in the morning wondering how I got home and saw my car parked in the driveway). I wanted to be young and carefree! Most of my friends were all folks who liked to drink too, so I never really questioned my drinking then. However once I got into my late 20's and 30's, it started catching up with friends. Some got DUI's, lost jobs, health concerns, and some even lost their lives to drunk driving, alcohol poisoning, or succumbed to health issues. I wish I would have hung out more with healthier friends who were into fitness, out door stuff and etc. Trust me as you get older, anything more than 2 glasses of wine and the hangovers last for more than a day. It's a slippery slope and I think in our culture, the idea is pushed that we cannot have fun without alcohol involved and when everyone else is going along with that idea, it just puts more pressure on those who want to refrain or limit our consumption.

True friends, boyfriends included, would be supportive of you not drinking. As long as you aren't trying to push them to change their ways and you are doing this for your well being, then they should be encouraging and respectful of your choices. I think that those who don't are usually the ones with the problem and as hard as it is, don't take their attitudes about it personally. This is your life and your health. It is good that you are recognizing now your struggles with anxiety over alcohol. By being more mindful you may be able to keep things in better check as you grow older, finding new alternatives to deal with stress and triggers and not slip down that slippery slope I have watched too many of my girlfriends go down from that glass of wine a night after work, to two, then finish the bottle and constantly living in a fog, feeling crappy next day and being checked out of life. I feel for you that you are in a difficult position and only you will know where alcohol plays a role in your life. If anything, you are becoming aware and that is a good thing

Hang in there!

Marigny23

Thankfully, last night was the first night I really struggled, and hopefully the last one that proves so difficult! I grew up immersed in a culture where copious alcohol consumption was "the norm", and observed, first hand, much of the devastation you cite that alcohol abuse can lead to. It wasn't until I moved elsewhere that I realized that many of these behaviors were not just abnormal - but pretty unacceptable. Having lived outside of that culture for a few years, it has become much easier to live in better moderation. Even outside of that particular group, I concur that society, as a whole, has a pretty warped view of alcohol.

I have to agree with you that people who try to push you to drink are frequently insecure about their own habits and looking for justification. I am grateful that with the exception of last night, I have had an incredible support network, which is probably why abstaining from alcohol has not proved particularly difficult until then. My boyfriend has been the first in line to help me achieve my health goals and destress in alternative ways all along - he set up a "hot tea bar" in my apartment, has joined me on many relaxing walks, spent more time and money at the driving range than I probably care to admit, and drawn up hot baths for me when I have come home sore from a rough workout. Things just seemed to unravel a bit last night, but I was glad that my choices for my own health and welfare were good enough reason for me to stick by my decision, despite external pressure.

Going completely teetotal for Lent has certainly increased my awareness of how I, along with my social groups, use alcohol and the overwhelming misconceptions of its influence.