Rant

__freckles__

I'm having a real problem with patience right now. Overall I'm a very impatient person. I know that lifting takes a long time to produce results and I'm in it for the long haul. But sometimes the slowness of my progress is annoying. I used to be annoyed that I couldn't lift as much as a lot of the lovely ladies on this website. But I've pretty much gotten over that. I think some people are just capable of lifting more than others and I happen to fall on the lower end (at least my lower body lifts). So I'm just working on progressing on all my lifts every week and if it's a struggle for me to get that last rep in then I'm doing something right.

But right now I'm so annoyed that the timing of my bulk is not working out well with my previous goals. Now I know why most people bulk through the winter months so at least I've learned something for next year. I feel like I have something to prove to myself and really wanted to be able to do it by this summer. I didn't have control over the way my body looked for so long (I was basically pregnant for 15 months - that's a whole other story) and last summer was shot because I had my baby in May and didn't have the time or energy to even care about going to the beach. So I thought this year would finally be MY year. But then I decided to go another route and try bulking. I just need to have patience and accept the fact that it will be another year before I get to strut my stuff on the beach, and that's been a hard pill for me to swallow. But I'm determined to stick this out.

I will end my little rant on a positive note. Before I joined MFP I didn't think I could get my body into better shape than it was before I had kids. I thought that as you aged you just had to accept that you're body wasn't going to look like it did when you were 20. But you ladies have proven me wrong and have given me a lot of hope!

*Edited to add: I fully intend on strutting my stuff on the beach this summer. I just won't be where I want to be. But I'll get there.

JoRocka

keep pushing.

this is hard.

and this is one of the reasons also it's so insulting when people say "I don't want to bulk lifting weights" It's not just hard work- the mental toughness to push through despite the emotions- WITH the emotions- even with the break downs- because they happen- it's HARD- it takes a tenacity that goes far beyond the courage to say "I want to gain weight"

You probably look amazing- and you are probably moving along fine. I would encourage you to go back to your first day of weight lifting- look at where you started- keep notes to yourself about how you feel to even. Then go back and read about the days you walked out of the gym a lifting god.


I had a horrid lift on Monday- I've been doing this for years- and I struggled to hold it together in front of the whole gym- I waffle between pure rage and tears and breaking down. Apparently neither are okay at a gym. I'm not afraid of failure- but it was so hard to fail a rep and not feel like I'm really getting anywhere after having put on TWENTY pounds. Seriously.

Hard- very emotionally difficult for me.

But we press on- we carry on- we know the end result is coming and it is NOT all for naught. The results will come- sometimes quickly- sometimes slowly- and sometimes not in a manner in which we were expecting. But you can do it- you can press on. Thats how you succeed- but just keeping going. Every day showing up wins- not the one guy who shows up and saves the day and leaves.

You can do it- I promise!!! HUGS!!!!

SilentDrapeRunners

I'm having the same difficulties as you, as you know. It is frustrating, and I agree the timing is not ideal. Especially when almost everyone else (but not everyone) is cutting right now. I think 'hey I want to cut too!' But I know that for me at this point in time, it's best to just stick to the bulking path. I figure it's better to just stay the path and look super amazing next summer instead of veering off the path only to look about the same this year and next.

I agree that it's difficult when people say 'I don't want to look bulky.' Or there's people who are just trying to 'get in shape' who don't lift heavy or eat in excess and they end up gaining weight accidentally (most likely due to water weight). But they'll say (or people will tell them) that they've gained muscle because muscle weighs more. Do they realize how difficult it is to put on muscle mass (especially for women)?? Maybe it is easy for some people to gain weight and have it be muscle (and more power to them), but for me it's definitely not been easy. When I started out 2 yrs ago, I thought it would just magically happen based on what people would say and what I would read in magazines. But I've come to find out that for me, gaining weight as muscle is a VERY active process. Active in the sense that I have to take an active role in making it happen- eating enough, doing the right lifting exercises, lifting HEAVY, etc.

__freckles__

Thank you Jo. You always have the best advice. Seriously. And SilentDraper, I'm glad to have you as a friend because this is HARD and I need someone around that knows exactly what I'm going through!

I was just having a bad day yesterday and needed to get all that out. I felt much better after expressing all that. So thanks for listening!

milileitner

So I'm just working on progressing on all my lifts every week and if it's a struggle for me to get that last rep in then I'm doing something right.

Big thumbs up to this attitude.

FWIW, I completely sympathise with the whole bulking over the summer thing. I did it for 2 consecutive summers. It sucked. At the time I felt like *kitten* and refused to wear a swimsuit. In retrospect, I was just having difficulty adjusting to my new body and seeing it for what it really looked like. It was just one great big mindf*ck. I have so much respect for any woman who bulks, because it's physically and mentally so damn tough, and most ladies will never even dare to consider intentionally gaining weight. You're already winning just by committing to this

JoRocka

So I'm just working on progressing on all my lifts every week and if it's a struggle for me to get that last rep in then I'm doing something right.

Big thumbs up to this attitude.

FWIW, I completely sympathise with the whole bulking over the summer thing. I did it for 2 consecutive summers. It sucked. At the time I felt like *kitten* and refused to wear a swimsuit. In retrospect, I was just having difficulty adjusting to my new body and seeing it for what it really looked like. It was just one great big mindf*ck. I have so much respect for any woman who bulks, because it's physically and mentally so damn tough, and most ladies will never even dare to consider intentionally gaining weight. You're already winning just by committing to this

girl no way- not in the summer- I don't even GO swimming any more- haven't been to the beach- or lake- bought a new swim suit last year- hoping to go and never made it. Kudo's to you- I'd have NEVER made it through summer bulking much less 2x!!!!

I've been getting sick looking at myself in just my undies- been thonging it up because nothing fits my thighs any more.

You're already winning just by committing to this

YES!!!!!

ILiftHeavyAcrylics

So I'm just working on progressing on all my lifts every week and if it's a struggle for me to get that last rep in then I'm doing something right.

Big thumbs up to this attitude.

FWIW, I completely sympathise with the whole bulking over the summer thing. I did it for 2 consecutive summers. It sucked. At the time I felt like *kitten* and refused to wear a swimsuit. In retrospect, I was just having difficulty adjusting to my new body and seeing it for what it really looked like. It was just one great big mindf*ck. I have so much respect for any woman who bulks, because it's physically and mentally so damn tough, and most ladies will never even dare to consider intentionally gaining weight. You're already winning just by committing to this

I obviously haven't done the bulking thing yet, but just from a body changing perspective I know this is true. My brain seems to run about 6 months behind my body. And it's very tough mentally for your body to be constantly changing.

I'll be doing the bulking thing all summer too and I likely won't be ready to cut until next spring. So I can commiserate, especially since we live near the beach and I spend my summers in a bikini.

pandorakick

You probably look amazing- and you are probably moving along fine. I would encourage you to go back to your first day of weight lifting- look at where you started- keep notes to yourself about how you feel to even. Then go back and read about the days you walked out of the gym a lifting god.

I second this ^^^ so much! A few weeks ago when I was feeling down because all my lifts sucked, due to the transition to cutting again, I went and took a look to where I was last year with lifting. I've made so much progress that I was totally blown away. On some lifts I'm currently on more then double the weight from last year.

Seeing the difference really helps getting some perspective again with the mind fu*k called bulking

89nunu

You probably look amazing- and you are probably moving along fine. I would encourage you to go back to your first day of weight lifting- look at where you started- keep notes to yourself about how you feel to even. Then go back and read about the days you walked out of the gym a lifting god.

I second this ^^^ so much! A few weeks ago when I was feeling down because all my lifts sucked, due to the transition to cutting again, I went and took a look to where I was last year with lifting. I've made so much progress that I was totally blown away. On some lifts I'm currently on more then double the weight from last year.

Seeing the difference really helps getting some perspective again with the mind fu*k called bulking

I so needed to hear this right now! Just had an awful lifting session!
Bench sucked, chin ups sucked, Dips sucked, OHP were atrocious!!
I have a lot of things coming together why it's just not going up! Changing of the clocks last sat had me sleep pretty badly, stress at work and on top of that starting of the cut! :grumble: I was completely knackered half way through my workout...

But yes, I'm a lot stronger than last year!! Keep calm and focus on the positives!!