In 40's and afraid of never being thin? Anyone else?

BarbBlue

I have been battling the bulge for years. I do well and then life happens and then I go backwards.
I am going to be 42 in less than a month and feel like I am never going to see myself completely thin and healthy in my life. i was just wondering if anyone else has this fear?
I am back on the wagon again trying to get the weight off for good, but the minute stress hits - I am stuffing it in!
Anyone else have this problem? I guess I would just like to see myself with a really nice and healthy body before my 50's. I think if I get to 50 and never lost the weight I think at that point I will just give up. I think sometimes I am just made to be fat and that is that.

Thanks!

jenm0611

I so feel your pain on this one. I will be 43 in August and I have been dealing with this issue for about 8 years now! I got divorced in my 30's and I got "happy" (yes from being divorced) so I gained A LOT of weight. At 35 I decided to do something about it, lost 25 pounds started going to the gym and had an absolute killer body if I do say so myself. Then I met my my husband and got happy again. I held my weight and figure for about a year then had a health crisis and ended up having to have a complete hysterectomy. Add to that I got back in to an office job with very minimal physical work (I had always worked in an office but I had also not been afraid to get my "hands dirty" and help out with the heavy stuff). The weight came on and came on QUICK! I went from 135 to 180 in a matter of about 6 months. I have fought with it up and down since 2007 with my lowest being 151 and my highest being 178 (when I started this time). Every time I think I have my weight going in the right direction something happens and knocks me off track, and I don't mean holidays because I have the will power to withstand all the sweets and decadence that is holidays. But I am an emotional eater, mostly boredom or stress. I am vowing to get the wright off and keep it off this time. I am not so much worried about being "thin" because I know that I have had children, I have lived my life and I will always have curves and bumps. I just want to be healthy. I know that the "thin" idea that the media, society and even people in general (our biggest critic usually being ourselves) put on us is very unrealistic. The photos that are shown are people who have thousands of dollars to spend on a personal trainer and have the time to work out 4-6 hours a day and are still photo shopped (which in my opinion is the works computer program ever created).

I am right here with you and I will travel this journey that is getting healthy with you! We can do this!

PJPrimrose

If my goal was to be "thin" I wouldn't work out or diet either! Talk about boring! I've been married a long time and I'm middle aged. The "sexy bunny" , which never suited my personality anyway, is long since over. The whole "I want to get healthy" is so vague. What does that MEAN? More energy...for what? Smaller clothes...for whom? How much time can you really spend obsessing over these things without boring yourself to tears? My goal is to be at my fighting weight to compete in full contact sparing for Korean Martial arts and if I feel up to it, eventually, Krav Maga. If that wasn't my goal, I'd be looking at modest, but beautiful, Oriental dance outfits for "belly dancing" (Oriental dance.) If not that, then something else INTERESTING. Being skinny just to be skinny ....meh. So you're Skinner than the next person...and? I'm tall and skinny by most folks account (5'9" 145) more or less. I was born and raised in LA. I spent 35 years *kitten*-deep in people obsessed with their weight,hair,clothes, what other people thought, and every damn thing they ate with a burning urge to share how they were superior for it, until I could scream. I avoided those people like they carried plague. The interesting people had a fascinating reason for any accomplishment they achieved, including weight loss/fitness. I truly do believe that is the secret to "getting healthy".

Ldysw357

I'm with ya! I have fought my weight my whole life, up and down like a rollercoaster. I had a hysterectomy when I was 28 (44 now) and gained afterwards with the hormones. I took myself off of them and maintained, but then started gaining a bit more. I am down almost 30 now and still fighting the good fight. I have finally realized and accepted that I will never look like I did at 17 again. My goal now is to be able to look good in my clothes, be comfortable and healthy. Not that I would mind having the awesome brick house...but I'm realistic too. Between 2 kids and gravity that's not going to happen, lol. I think if we're on MFP then most of us have that concern tucked away somewhere. Just do your best and be healthy. Stressing yourself out over it won't help (and that is a battle I constantly have). I'm happy to help and support any way I can

BarbBlue

Thanks for all the great replies! I worry about this quite a bit, but your input helped me to know I am not alone and don't feel so weird thinking that way. You all gave great advice and I really am appreciative!

MKEgal

I'm never going to be thin, even when I'm at a healthy goal weight.
(Currently aiming at 165, which is just under the top end of a healthy weight range based on BMI.)
I'm just built large.
But when I get to my healthy weight I will look awesome! :blushing: :happy:
Doing weightlifting every other day to maintain muscle mass & strength while losing fat.

FlanJamz

I'm with you. I'm not overweight but I can NOT lose these 10 pounds that keep me from wearing most of my clothes. I've been diligent for two weeks now and have lost a whopping total of 1 pound. One. In my twenties, I'd have dropped 5, no problem. I know I have to be patient and keep at it but ARG!

StrawberryJam40

I am scared to be thin....skinny. Or I think I can never be skinny or never get there. But, it hasn't stopped me from starting the journey. I've set my sites for now on ONEderland. I am hoping the better I feel, the more I exercise, the cleaner I eat, the smaller I get...that hitting 199 will be so exciting I'll just keep going. The second part that scares me as much is loose skin. I'm scared of loose skin. Even though I'm large in the 250's I have smooth skin (yes some stretch marks) but the only sag I have at 45 is a little in the upper inner thigh...lol. That sounds lame rereading that.

And, to even the point of 199....I am really trying to take a week at a time, and enjoy every small success without fixating on 199. I'm happy at the 8 pounds so far, but just as excited to be eating better, to celebrate the days I chose wisely, every week I lose weight, every time I beat a craving, and any small accomplishment.

This also keeps me from viewing any negative side, like having buffet Saturday night. But even that I was proud of myself for not even overdoing it even more by a small battle of not picking anything fried.

I guess if I ever get to the point where I'd be in the 'skinny' category, I'll deal with it then!

*I can't type tonight. I have to keep editing because the typos just jump out at me.

hollywrigh

I am 46 now (gulp!!) in the early years (17-30) I was fit from military life....the army keeps ya going. When I was at my lowest weight, it was 125lbs and my then husband said I looked like a concentration camp survivor...mind you, I was 6ft tall at that time too. Fast forward 5 kids later, stay at home all the time and I ballooned to 181. Today I am 168, toning up from exercising once again...I will NEVER EVER return to 125 or close to it (don't want to...ribs and collarbone showing is NOT pretty). I am happy with me now...my boyfriend LOVES everything about me and insists I am fine where I am. He compliments me on my flat belly and says it's hard to beleive I've had 1 kid yet alone 5. I am not worried about another 5-10lbs might look gone on me...I'm happy where I am!!

Tillintalli

When I was in my late 40's I was kind of resigned to the idea of being almost 20 lbs overweight for the rest of my life. It seemed that I just didn't have enough energy and drive to begin counting calories once more.

I don't know how and why that happened, but five months ago (I was 51 then) I all the sudden started counting calories again and lost all the excess weight in four months time. Losing weight was pretty easy and didn't actually require much effort.

I have some 3-5 vanity pounds left to lose (I'll decide later how many exactly) but I'm already overjoyed of my new being. And I'm also still a little bit awestruck. What on earth happened, how come I'm thin again?

I have one theory though. I used to be stressed and discontent and therefore wanted to lower my stress levels so I occasionally did some mindfulness exercises. Maybe being discontent and stressed robbed all my energy? I already was happier person when I eventually succeeded in my weight loss.

Jesslan_Rose

I have been overweight all my life. I've never known what it's like to be thin. Now I'm 44, turning 45 in 2 months, and I feel like I wasted my entire life being fat. I'm scared I'll never know what it feels like not to be fat or to shop from any store I want instead of online. That I'll never know what it feels like to sit on a bench next to someone and not worry if I'm taking up too much space or not worry if I go to a restaurant or movie theatre whether or not I can fit in the chairs. Most of all I'm scared I'll never find love again.

I am proud that this is the longest I have worked at losing weight. This is also the most I've ever lost before, but I do worry that with 97 more pounds to go somewhere between here and there I'll just fall off the wagon into oblivion never to find my way back again.