Welcome and Introduction
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Hello everyone! I'm Norah. I'm 5'8" and my highest weight was 244 (about a month ago). As of today I'm down to 134. I started using MFP about a week and a half ago and I joined an 8-week "biggest loser" type contest at work a week ago. I'm making a few major changes: tracking my calories, eating breakfast every day, cooking at home more/bringing lunch to work, and trying to get more exercise. I've started walking home from work and I plan to keep that up since it basically only takes 20 minutes more than public transportation but I get a full 3 mile walk in. I need some backup plans for bad weather, though.
I've struggled a lot with depression and various physical health issues, so it took getting to a place where those things were well managed to be able to make these changes. I'm hoping that the changes in my diet and exercise will help maintain this state of relatively good mental and physical health.
Other than the health stuff, I have had serious issues with bingeing. I'd buy a bunch of junk food and eat it when no one else was around. It's very difficult for me to stop eating something once I've started. i've been in a rather tight economic situation lately, which has helped me with the bingeing because it hasn't been as easy to afford it. I'm hoping to keep that up even though I'm now re-employed (yay!) and have money coming in.
Pleased to meet you all!0 -
Welcome Michelle & Norah. It took me a few times reading your post Norah...I thought, 5'8" and 134...I do not think you have the right group! :laugh: Wouldn't that be something!? I think you will see, a lot of us suffer from binge eating...post away..0
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Hey, what to say at this point. dang it!!! I just want to change. 310 pounds and can't do a darn thing with out running out of breath. can't hardly put my shoes on. work up a sweat getting my sunday cloth on. :sad:0
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I made a separate post but didn't really go into much detail about myself.
I am almost 26 years old, I have a beautiful 4 year old son, I am married and I have a sassy 10 year old mixed dog named Minky. I work full time at the police department and attend school full-time as well.
I am not really sure where to begin with my weight issues, so I guess I'll go to the beginning. I come from a traditional southern family that centers everything around food and comfort. When I was 6 my parents divorced, at 8 I was molested by a gym teacher, at 11 my mother was killed by a drunk driver, at 14 my father went to jail for being a felon with a weapon in the house (he was 54 when he went to jail and his felony conviction was from more than thirty years prior and the weapon was a bow with no arrows... it was crap), at 15 I started drinking and partying a good bit, at 18 my father was diagnosed with Mesothelioma and became more ill by the week, at 20 I lost my father after taking care of him by myself for almost 3 years, at 21 I got pregnant with my son and then at 23 I got married. Shewww.
I have always had terrible anxiety and have always struggled with depression. I find/found comfort in foods that I enjoy and make me feel content. Baking is like therapy with butter as far as I am concerned and I couldn't go anywhere without a Coke in my hand. When I got pregnant with my son I was about 215 pounds and within the last 4 years I have gotten up to 335 at my highest. My liver enzymes are out of whack and it is likely that I have a fatty liver but fingers crossed that its not something worse (I go for an ultrasound next week to see whats going on). I swear its like I checked out of my body for a few years and BAM! here I am over 300 pounds and miserable with myself. I am down about 13 pounds in about 3 1/2 weeks.
So, I have started going to the gym 3 times a week for cardio and 3 times a week I lift weights and do yoga on my day off. I eat about 1600 calories a day and sometimes a little more on cardio days if I'm super hungry. My diet is primarily high protein, moderate healthy fats, and lower carb.
I welcome any and all friends and support I can get and will absolutely return the favor!0 -
Whoops! Definitely a typo in my post. 234!0
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Well hello new people! Thanks for sharing your stories. It's nice to have this gathering of people with similar struggles. I'm getting so much from coming here and reading posts and posting back. I hope you will too!0
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Hi everyone!
I'm not even sure how I found this group this morning but I'm glad I did. I have always hated the term Morbidly Obese...like obese isn't bad enough they have to throw Morbidly in there too. Yeah. That will help my self esteem! Geez.
So my story isn't much different than a lot of you in the sense that I have tried this so many times. I get to the 30 or 40lbs lost and all hell breaks loose and I gain that and more back. I was an athlete all through school and even played basketball in college. I was always the "biggest" girl but looking back at myself I would kill to look like that again. Muscular. Athletic. Bigger than all my friends but healthy and fit.
It was after I stopped playing basketball in college that it started piling on. Drinking didn't help. We'd go out and drink and then eat Chinese food or pizza at 2 in the morning when the bars closed. I'd lose a bit of weight but never the right way. I was never exercising, even as much as I loved my sports, I wanted nothing to do with being in shape. I just wanted to weigh less and buy cute clothes. That went on through most of my 20's until I met my future husband when I was 28. Drinking stopped and partying stopped, but the eating didn't. We ate out a lot. Anything I knew how to cook back then was comfort food or dripping in grease. We ate late. Early. Often. Junk food. Anywhere we went we had some sort of junk food on our minds. After we got married and started trying to conceive, I found out I had PCOS.
So. Another diet started but this one with a purpose. I lost about 40lbs and was feeling pretty good. But we weren't pregnant. It took almost 2 years to conceive our first child and by then I had given up trying to be in shape. I just wanted to be pregnant. And then after 6 rounds of fertility drugs, we were finally pregnant.
I had a great pregnancy other than having gestational diabetes, but it was well controlled. I started walking on the treadmill as soon as I found out I was pregnant. I was determined to give this baby a healthy pregnancy and a healthy mom. I ended up losing almost 30lbs while pregnant, which my doctor was very proud of. It made me feel like I could keep this up after the baby was born and keep on slimmin'. And then my due date came. Contractions. Counting the minutes between contractions. Calling my nurse and saying "they are 3 mins apart". Within 24 hours the best day of my life became my worst. My beautiful son was born very ill. We didn't have any warning that this was happening. It turned out that I was very sick too. We both had an E Coli infection. He wasn't strong enough to fight it off. 16 hours after he was born, he passed away in my arms. My world shattered.
Needless to say, my weight was the farthest thing from my mind for a long time. I didn't care. My husband is the only reason I was able to get through it but we both just didn't care about much. We ate to comfort. We ate because we didn't know what else to do. We ate to hide the hurt. By the time I got pregnant again, I had gained almost 70lbs from my lowest weight with my son. I had a good pregnancy and lost about 11lbs by the time my second son was born (HEALTHY) but it wasn't enough to motivate me to keep going. Eating just kept masking the failure I felt at losing my first son.
Fast forward to last Feb ('13) and I had had enough. I wanted to be healthy for my kids, which now included a daughter. It hadn't been enough for 7 1/2 years since my second son was born to say "my kid(s) deserve a mom who can do things with them." I knew I wasn't in any shape or form to be able to do the things with them that I want. But it wasn't enough to motivate me up to that point. I don't know what snapped inside me but I knew I had to do it or I was going to die. I might as well die trying! So I signed up for an informational night program about Gastric Sleeve surgery. I thought, this is what I need. I know that athlete is still inside me and if I could just see a difference, I know I could keep going. I was going into this knowing it was a tool, that I had to do the work still but that this tool would help keep me going.
I went to the informational night and immediately set up an appointment for the next week to start the process. My husband went with me to that first exam. At the end of the exam I was told that I was a candidate for the surgery except I had to loose 114lbs before they would perform the surgery on me. It was just too risky at my size but when I lost that 114.lbs I'd be good to go. I burst out laughing. (Before the tears fell). If I could loose 114lbs on my own do you think I would be here????? I thought I'd try and prove to them that I just can't do it. No matter what they kept trying to tell me. I lost about 20lbs and then gave up. It was in my head that I was going to fail and I did. 2 months later something snapped again. I found MFP and decided to try it. It clicked. It was just what I needed. Fast forward 6 months and I was down 70lbs. The most I had ever lost without giving up.
Winter hit and I spent all winter and spring just "maintaining". Not on purpose. But the motivation was gone again. But I didn't want to give up. I'd lose 5 gain 2 back. Lose those 2 plus 2 more and gain 1. Lose 6 and stay the same for 3 weeks. The Yo Yo'ing was back. This past week something snapped again. Maybe the nice weather coming back finally has given me my motivation back. But I am determined to keep going. I will do this. IF it kills me!
Some of you are starting out at a weight that I would be thrilled to be at. Makes me feel a bit uncomfortable to have SOOOO much to lose, I feel like I should start my own club and call it the Morbidly Morbidly Morbidly Obese club. But. I can't worry about that. I can only keep moving. Keep watching what I put in my mouth. And come here to MFP and talk to those that are struggling and making strides just like me. So thank you in advance.
Sorry this is so long. IF you made it all the way through, ty! And I promise, I am not usually this long winded!! Oh and by the way. I no longer want the surgery. I can do this. I will do this. And I don't feel like I need that surgery to help me anymore. I proved to myself that I can do it, as long as I keep plugging away!0 -
Hi, I'm Shayne - I am 42 (practically 43) 5'5", was 340 lbs with a BMI of 57 - and with the great classification of super morbidly obese. I was an uncontrolled diabetic (with large amounts of insulin and metformin), had sleep apnea, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and had 4 arterial stents put in to keep my blocked arteries open...
I was tiny as a kid, because of my mother's eating disorders and paranoia that I was getting fat (She was a binge and purger. The only time we had sugary food and ice cream in the house were on days she planned to binge and purge) Visits to other peoples houses would bring out declarations that I got fat in a week, overnight, or in a couple of hours. So there wasn't a lot of variety at home in terms of food - there were some other issues going on there and I ended up leaving home at 14.
and the food world opened up to me and I ate everything and anything I wanted pretty much for the 25 years - not the smartest idea - but it is what it is. I started working at a computer based job in the 90's which means I was getting little to no exercise to mix in with my really bad diet - I lost some weight around 2001 - I went from 320 lbs to right at the 200 lb mark when I stalled out with the help of Meridia and Xenical (awesomely nasty). I relied heavily on exercise at that time and never changed my eating habits (and coupled with the fact that I couldn't cook) so inevitably, when I stopped exercising, and moved to Memphis and got married, the weight all came back - added bonus was, Memphis is filled with food, awesomely fried and creamy food -- so by the time I got divorced and moved to Phoenix I was back at the 300 mark
Phoenix was a little different as I now never left the house (I work from home, sitting in front of a computer all day) so absolutely no exercise - In 3 years, I added another 40 lbs for my top weight of 340. The final straw was a trip back o NY where I couldn't even walk back to the car as I was so out of shape and had to wait for them to get the car and pick me up. I was mortified and embarrassed.
So I came home, joined a gym, signed up with a trainer... and gained even more weight...
yep, increased exercise from nothing to 2 times a week with a trainer and I was still gaining weight...
My PCP had made a recommendation about a doctor that specializes in natural weight loss through modifications in your diet - (because of the heart problems, I was not eligible for any surgery and no doctor would have given me any weight loss pills for the same reason) - so I finally took my PCP recommendation (she had recommended the doctor once before which I totally ignored) and went and changed my life - literally
I finally learned to cook
I learned how different foods affect me - especially the carbs which directly affect my diabetes and I learned how to have a healthy relationship with food finally.
Today, I am 155lbs - and I no longer take any medication for the diabetes, I got rid of the sleep apnea, I take 1/2 of a pill for the blood pressure and no more cholesterol meds. I still have to take the ones for my heart as I can't undo the original damage.
I just got labwork done to check everything and every single number was in the normal range
So even though I am not still morbidly obese, I was for a very long time and I hope you'll let me stick around and say hi once in a while
Thanks for reading and hope everyone has a great night...0 -
Aww artelyn, my heart broke for you at your loss hun, I only have the one and I just cannot imagine that at all. Mine was born poorly too but all turned out well. I am glad you have 2 healthy kids now, and I really hope this group helps when the motivation flags
Shane it is so nice to see someone make it! People who have over 100lbs to lose often find the number so insurmountable, plus we get told so often that we will probably put it all back on anyway. To see the amazing loss you achieved is very motivational and personally I am very glad to have you in the group 0 -
Welcome Artelyn,
I know the feeling when it comes to seeing other peoples weights, "oh your under 300lbs, i'll be celebrating when the scale tells me that." I have a person worth of weight to loose and it seems insurmountable at times but you have demonstrated it isn't. If we can lose 70lbs then we can lose 140. The thing standing in our way is ourselves, wich all of us in this group are learning (and how to deal with it or overcome it). Welcome and we look forward to your journey.0 -
I can empathize with what you went through Artelyn! My story's above. I'm sorry you went through all that pain and heart break. I carried my son for 4 1/2 months before I lost him. The Doc had just told me I was out of the danger zone, to go ahead and tell my friends and family. I sent out these little announcement cards to everyone telling them that Decland was finally on his way. Then the Doc called and wanted me to come in for a ultrasound. It showed that Declands heart was not formed correctly and had stopped beating. I had to go home to see if I could miscarry on my own, because when going to fertility centers they don't want to take the baby because it will delay your next window. I had to wait a week all the while knowing he was gone. During that time the cards i sent out arrived in peoples mailboxes. The calls started poring in and I had to explain that he had passed away and I was waiting to have a miscarriage. That was the worse time of my life! I told my husband I could never go through that again. I applaud you on your courage to continue the journey, I know its a hard one to travel. I understand the grief you feel- even though my children never took a breath, I feel the pain of their passing daily. Every mothers day is agony. I never got the title, but I spend that day in great sadness! Congratulation on your beautiful children!! I'm glad you no longer feel like you need the surgery. Yup, let those baby's be your focus. Let them eat healthy and exercise right along with ya.:flowerforyou: Hello, my name's Sandy. I'm 43yrs, 4'11" with a starting BMI of 57.8, Im married to the best husband in the world. Ive been obese most of my adult life. I took care of my handicap sister till she passed when I was 35. After she passed I gained more weight. Then finally got myself together and lost 91lbs! I was the smallest I had been since highschool. I met my husband and we gained weight together. Putting me at my highest 286lbs!!! Realty set in and I pulled myself together again and dropped some weight. Then I got pregnant! I had been trying for years,spent thousands at the fertility clinics, but I lost the baby (that was my third miscarriage)! After that I've spent the last year 1/2 in a fog. When i came out of that fog I was back up to 286lbs!!! I was just feeling so crappy after eating I just decided to tweek my diet a little. The next thing I know I'm on here all fire up to get healthy for me and my husband. I'm down 20lbs! with a BMI of 54 and feeling great! So excited for this journey!
Shayne, we would love to have the voice of experience and success as part of this group! Welcome and congratulations!!!
I know its hard, but lets try not to focus on other peoples numbers. They mean something else for everyone. I read on someone page that she was 432 lbs with a BMI of 47. Now when I started at my recorded heaviest, I was 286lbs with a BMI of 57. The numbers are all relative to the person. So there she was 146lbs heavier, but had a better BMI.
Blessings :flowerforyou:0 -
I guess as Im new to this group I should offer up a lil into.
Im divorced, have 3 kids, 30(g) 32(b) 34(g).......and 3 grandsons, 2,7 and 13 and one on the way. Ive been divorced since 2003 and am currently engaged to a wonderful guy, he's a retired truck driver and takes wondrous care of me and Killer (my furbaby 4 legged daughter). He is awesome at taking care of us, he cleans house, does the laundry and almost all the cooking. He's even into weighing and measuring everything I eat and over feeds Killer at the same time.
Im an Investigator and have been for 15 years come August. I love it and have since I started. I look forward to going in to work every day. The problem is, I sit at a desk in front of a computer 9+ hours a day and that is soooooooooo not conducive to losing weight in any way shape or form.
Ive been incredibly busted up over the years. Ive had a broken back a couple times, a fractured neck most recently, 10 or 11 surgeries on my knees resulting in total knee replacements, several surgeries on my back etc. UGH it's alllllllllllll old old old.
My bedroom flooded 4 years ago owing to a burst heating pipe that spewed super hot water in a jet stream 3 feet high unabated for 90 minutes. We had the clean up done professionally and I was promised they got it all done and dried and there'd be no issues. Just a short 6 months later I ended up in the hospital with a raging infection of some sort in my leg.
And my life changed that day...I havent been able to breathe normal since that day. Ive had every test known to man, Cardio tests, pulmonary tests, sleep tests, blood tests, xrays, blood work, CT / MRI ad nauseum. I have asthma / no I dont. They tell me what it isnt....but no one knows what IT is. I have UARS, SDB but no one will say the words SLEEP APNEA but I now hafta use a BiPap and because my O2 SATS are bad I have Oxygen bled into it when I sleep. 2 years ago they advised me to use O2 during the day or evenings when Im home but I dont have to use it outside the home. I actually had one doctor tell me that that was ok because you only NEED O2 for 14 hours a day. I still dont and never have understood that statement.
All that to say...I still cant breathe very good and it limits everything I do. I virtually cant do my own shopping anymore because the pain and inability to breathe normally is embarrassing AND exhausting. They said if I quit smoking it would get better.......so I did, 2 years ago. They said my weight hasnt caused "this" but does aggravate it, I "should" lose weight. DUH.
I just need it to stop. I NEED and WANT to be able to breathe better and if losing weight is the only way it can get better....then so be it. Getting "thinner", moving about easier, buying new clothes and just plain getting healthier etc is all well and good and all are great reasons to lose the weight but for me, that's just an "aside" if you will. For me..it's ALL about breathing easier or better or more comfortably IS what it's ALL about.
I got 200% serious 10 short days ago. My doctor prescriber low doses of Phentermine as an aid. I researched it for days and decided it's a go. I like the way it seems to work with me. It literally destroys ALl appetite. I have to remind myself that being diabetic (since 1999) I have to eat. It doesnt make me nervous or cause any side effects. Because you can get immune to it to some degree, I will not use it consistently. What I mean by that is, I'll take it 5 days a week and take 2 days free. I have at least 3 months overall to see how this will work for me and I plan on making the most of it.
Anyway....I can see and feel a big difference even in just the 10 days so that's really a super reinforcement. Im so glad to have found this group and can be open and share with people of like minds...thank you for allowing me to be a part of it.0 -
You have EVERY reason to want this weight OFF. And how incredible to have such wonderful support at home. Are the mold problems in your home sorted out now? I also used Phentermine some years ago and it worked very well. I lost 10% of my weight and remember being depressed because I wanted to eat but could not! As soon as my appetite came back, so did all the weight and they won't put me on it again.
What I am working towards is exercising and eating healthy, which took a dive over the last couple of days but more about that in the daily check ins.0 -
You have EVERY reason to want this weight OFF. And how incredible to have such wonderful support at home. Are the mold problems in your home sorted out now? I also used Phentermine some years ago and it worked very well. I lost 10% of my weight and remember being depressed because I wanted to eat but could not! As soon as my appetite came back, so did all the weight and they won't put me on it again.
What I am working towards is exercising and eating healthy, which took a dive over the last couple of days but more about that in the daily check ins.
I wanted to try the Phentermine to get a jump start on this journey. I figured a kick into weight loss would give me the incentive and the push to get going and keep going. Im not using it every single day in hopes of extending its usefulness but time will tell.
The mold is sorted out now as much as it can be. The problem is...it's already THERE...deep in the lower lobes of both lungs. But like I said, getting as much weight off as fast as possible is gonna be the boost. Ive seen scads of doctors and had tests the likes of which most people cant even imagine. The docs have no clue other than the mold why I cant breathe or how to make it better. They told me two years ago to stop smoking and Id feel better and breathe better. LMAO...Im still waiting.
So, I'm left to my own devices to figure out what to do and how to do it....so I did.
................and pooooooooooooof here I am0 -
Hey everyone! I'm Kali. I'm almost 25, about 5'9, and 290.8 pounds (BMI 45.2, if I'm remembering right). My highest weight was 303.8, so I've managed to keep 13 pounds off in the past two years. That's much better than gaining, but it's still not where I was hoping I would be.
I've tried so many diets in my life. The first one I remember trying was Atkins when I was 13. I've also tried South Beach and Weight Watchers. I've tried so many different times. The most successful I've been was when I did Weight Watchers and lost 30 pounds in 3 months, bringing my weight down to the 260s. I haven't been that weight in 2-3 years.
Right now, my goal is 190. I'd still be overweight, but that's an okay goal for me. That's the weight I wrote on my driver's license, and that's what I would like to be. That's also about what I weighed at the end of 9th grade, the last time my weight started with a 1. I was a size 16 then, and I'm a size 24 now. Maybe I'll aim lower once I get to 190, but for now I'm just going to focus on the weight that would make me happy.
It's been a long struggle, but I think I've finally figured out what I need to do. I'm focusing on eating a plant-based diet that's as close to natural, unprocessed foods as possible - without beating myself up if I eat something processed or animal-based. Life's not about being perfect - it's about doing the best you can, learning from your mistakes, and trying again.
Glad I found this group. 0 -
Welcome Kali! I think your goal is fantastic, in fact I am copying it and saying if I get to 180 I will be ecstatic.. I was there back in 2007. I too have tried every diet under the sun and due mainly to problems with sodium I am also eating mostly fresh food, it makes me feel better too. Thanks for joining the group.0
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Hi everyone. I need to lose 115 initially, then a bit more after that goal has been met. All the stories I am reading sound too familiar.0
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Welcome to the group, Deanna!0
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and thought I should introduce myself. I joined a few days ago at the recommendation of an administrator of another group I was in but this is the first chance I've had to be on the internet for more than a few minutes at a time.
Anyhow, my name is Deanna (my friends just call me Dee). I live in the suburbs of St. Louis in a town called Maryland Heights. I live with my significant other, Michael, and my 16 year old son, Cody. With the exception of four years of college, I have lived in the St. Louis area all my life. I have been overweight since around the age of 9 when my uncle began molesting me. My mother put me in weight watchers for the first time at the age of 13 (we had to lie about my age since I was supposed to be 18). It has been a constant battle, up and down, with every passing diet. I never really dated until I dated the father of my son. When he proposed I accepted thinking that he was probably my only shot at marriage (I know, great reason to get married, right). When I got married, I weighed in the neighborhood of 275. Two years after I got married my father died and my husband did a 180 degree change. He had always been slightly possessive but this was out of control. He was very mentally/emotionally and sexually abusive and occasionally physically abusive. I was ready to leave when I ended up pregnant. Thinking that maybe a baby would make things better (I know now...stupid thinking), I stayed. If anything a baby made things worse. He was actually jealous of our son! God forbid, taking care of a helpless baby took me away from taking care of a grown man. Over the years my weight climbed, making me even more recluse than just the abuse did. I never left Cody out of my sight for one minute because of the abuse that my ex put him through. When Cody was five, my ex was arrested for pulling a shotgun on the tow truck operator who was repossessing our vehicle and was arrested. That was the out I was looking for. He had often threatened that if I tried to leave he would kill Cody and I so with him in jail, we left. By this time I had ballooned all the way up to 500 pounds. A little over two years later, right after Cody's 8th birthday, still weighing 500 pounds, my doctor told me if I didn't do something drastic I wouldn't see Cody's 10th birthday. This was not an option as there was no way in hell my ex was getting custody of my son. My doctor referred me to a gastric bypass surgeon and on April 4, 2006, my life changed forever. For the next two years the weight seemed to just fall off and I got all the way down to 250. I was feeling good and started going out with friends and men started paying attention to me. Most people would think, great! Not me, unfortunately. It scared the living hell out of me. It brought back horrible memories and thoughts that I had never dealt with. Unfortunately they had only operated on my stomach and not my head. Since I had never dealt with the abuse and the food addiction/emotional eating that resulted, I ran back to what I knew........food. Over the next year, I managed to gain 120 pounds taking me back up to 370. I'm not sure what exactly made me put a halt to the gaining but I did. I went back to my gastric bypass support group and started following the rules again. The weight is much harder to lose this time. In 2009, I met Michael. He has been very supportive of all of my issues. Therapy and my support group are also very helpful. I'm learning to put the abuse in the past, love myself for who I am and control my eating. It's not easy (actually some days it's a downright battle) but I'm doing it. I'm even learning how to accept that I'm not perfect and I do slip up at times and there's no reason to turn one bad choice into an entire day's worth of bad choices. I've finally gotten back under 300. I really have no absolute end goal (though I would love to see onederland some day), I figure I'll know my goal when I get there. Right now I'm taking it 50 pounds at a time. Sorry, I kinda turned this into a novel and if you've made it all the way through, I thank you for reading my story. I look forward to giving and getting support and making new friends!0 -
Hi Deanna,
I made it to the end. Plenty of people here who will read to the end. Welcome to our little neck of the forum. I'm happy you joined, it sounds like you have a lot that can contribute to our group and the support and discussions we have.
I probably can't say anything you haven't heard before and don't have many life experience that can compare so I'll simply say that I'm glad your pulling through it and working on and looking forward to changes that your making. That is truly huge and amazing. Congratulations for getting back under 300, i'm working towards that myself (and one of these months the scale will finely tell me something other then errr).
See you in the forums.0 -
Hi. I'm Jenny and I'm 26-year-old stay-at-home mom of two beautiful girls aged 4 months and 2 years. I have a loving husband who loves me for me and doesn't see my weight. The problem there is he doesn't see why this is so important to me. This past weekend, I bought a scale and did my first weigh-in on Monday. I'm at my highest weight ever at 303lbs.
I believe my unhealthy relationship with food originally stemmed from the abuse I endured as a child. That's a very long, very involved, very sad story.
I'm not 100% sure what my goal weight is. My most important goals don't involve a scale. At the top of the list, is being the mom my girls deserve. The one that plays so hard she wears them out, not the other way around. Right now I can't keep up with my 2-year-old in my wildest dreams.0 -
Welcome Deanna and Jenny. Oh my.. childhood abuse seems to be a recurring theme around here.. that includes me. I believe for some of us it has an effect on the psyche of making us want to hide behind our weight.. plus which, let's face it, we do get less attention from men. The last time I got to 180 that became very difficult for me to handle. Welcome both of you, we can all help each other to reach a healthy goal.0
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Welcome Dee and Jenny, and Dee I made it to the end of your story too I am so glad you were able to get out of the toxic relationship you were in and found someone who is good to you. My heart was aching for you while reading your story. I hope to get to know you more on here.
Jenny, my husband doesn't see me as morbidly obese either. I cried when he and I started changing our eating plan and trying to be healthier and he saw my weight was over 300 pounds. He held me and told me it didn't matter to him what I weighed and that he loved me no matter what. But my heart just shattered with embarrassment. I totally get what you mean about not being able to keep up with your 2 yo. I have a 9 yo son that I can not keep up with either, and two beautiful grand-daughters who are 3 and 1 who can out last me any day of the week!! Glad to have you in the group and I hope we can all be there for each others journey to get healthy.0 -
Welcome all, I might not always remember to post an individual welcome to each poster, I admit I forget to check this one, but you can find me in the daily posts and now and then I come and read up on people's stories. Long term goals are terribly difficult when you have so much to lose. At nearly 300lbs my initial goal was 250. Now it is onderland. Then it will be 185. Supposedly WW says the heaviest I should be is 145. I can not see myself at that ever lol. I will see how I feel at 185. 173 is calling me if I can stick with it at that point simply because at 173 for the first time in my adult life I will be considered just overweight not obese.0
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Hello hello!
I am Frances, a married sahm to 3 beautiful girls I have been on this particular weight loss journey since May 2013, just celebrated my 1 year anniversary I have been a "big girl" since I was probably in 6th grade, but looking back I wasn't all that big but bigger than most people around me, same as high school. If I could only go back and go hey, get in shape now! lol I was an active kid, played outside a lot, did sports, basketball, softball, volleyball, drama/plays, color guard etc. So you would think it would be easy, I had a great boyfriend and friends but deep down miserable at home due to circumstances. So I turned to food, I would eat whatever and not worry. I am definitely an emotional eater.
I met my wonderful hubby in 1999 and we were married in 2000, I don't know my weight from then but I was much smaller than I am now and I am trying hard to get back there and below. I see pics and I am like wow I was not huge. I do know I've done WW in the past and did well, 40lbs and 30lbs each time, but I soon fell off the wagon, not sure why. I guess I just wasn't ready. In 2010 my littlest was born with undiagnosed spina bifida and the weight packed on after she was born. It was shock, she had surgery at 6 weeks old, and the medical bills just kept piling up. I drowned my sorrows in food. Shortly before my baby would be 1, my mom had a major stroke and almost died. She is now in a nursing home paralyzed, again I turned to food. I ballooned up to 330. I wanted to die when I stepped on the scale. The last known weight I remember doing on WW was 250, omg guys I had went up almost 100 pounds since 2006ish.
I guess I was in denial it was that much, but the fat pants were no longer to big, they were getting tight and I needed to do something.
Last May a friend told me about MFP, though apparently I had checked it out before since I made an acct before then LOL, but I didn't pay much attn to it. I relogged into my account, started reading message boards, trying to figure out if this would work for me. Guess what? It did! Here I am a year later and almost 70lbs down, my goal is to lose 150, so I have a ways to go, but I am getting there. I have never LOST 70lbs, 40 was my max, so I am happy this is working. I can't wait to reach my goal but know it can take another year but that is OK. I will take 1 more year of getting healthy than losing years later down the road from being to fat to appreciate and enjoy life and my family.
My husband also joined MFP and started in May, he's lost 40lbs, so together we're over 100lbs lost!!!
So that's my story in a nut shell 0 -
Hi Frances! Good to see you in this group! I love it! So many common issues and struggles. Congrats on what you have done in a year. I can really see how hard you have worked!0
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Hi Frances! Good to see you in this group! I love it! So many common issues and struggles. Congrats on what you have done in a year. I can really see how hard you have worked!
Thanks you too! I am glad you got back on track, you have done great!!! I am excited to be in an active group! 0 -
Welcome Frances and wtg on your loss so far 0
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Greetings everyone,
My name is Elisha and I just joined myfitnesspal this past week. I'm a 38 year old married woman who has been overweight her entire life. It wasn't always as bad as it is now. I was merely chubby/overweight when I was a younger kid, but by my senior year of high school I was 212 pounds. As a kid, I was very shy and often teased/bullied for my weight which only made me retreat more. During my college years, I continued to pack on the pounds. College was where I met my husband. We were both music majors who became best friends and eventually fell in love. He is a wonderful and supportive person who loves me for who I am. I'm very lucky to have him. By the time I finished school, I probably weighed about 275 pounds. Within the next two years, I put on even more weight and topped out at my highest weight of around 300 pounds.
I've been pretty miserable my whole life because of my weight. I have a lot of anxiety/social anxiety/depression issues and my weight only exacerbated the situation. I've never felt attractive or had much self confidence in myself which has deeply impacted my drive to succeed at anything. I've pretty much sat on the sidelines of life all this time and not really done the things I want to do for fear of failure or rejection. I'm a singer and always wanted to pursue that as my career, but the fear of how I would be treated, rejected, or ridiculed because of my weight has kept me from really trying. In all honestly fear or failure and low self esteem have been the main driving factors in my life, and that's not a good thing.
Then there is the health factor.. When I was my highest weight, I could barely get around. I had terrible back pain and could only stand for short periods of time. Just grocery shopping was really difficult for me. I was trying to get my master's degree at that time and ended up dropping out. One of the reasons was because of my difficulty just getting around. I could barely make it through concerts and shows without feeling like I was going to die because of the pain, and that affected my performances, not to mention just walking around the campus and getting to class was so difficult. It KILLS me that I spent all that money on a degree I never finished because of my weight. I also had a health scare in 2005 when I ended up in the hospital for a week with billiary pancreatitis. That was caused by gallstones which is directly related to my weight/diet. Pancreatitis is no joke, and I could have easily died.
As I am approaching 40, I have become more determined to not spend the second half of my life the way that I have spent the first half. I lament the fact that I can't go back and get a "do over" because of all of the things I have missed out on in life.. The fact is, what I DO have control over is my future, so that is what I need to try to focus on. During Lent, which started in March, I decided to give up a lot of different foods. At that time, I weighed around 275 pounds. I gave up all bread, pasta, pastries, rice, crackers, chips, cookies etc. I also gave up all candy/sweets and soda, and I very rarely eat out. It was difficult at first, but it got easier after the first two weeks. I have been pretty faithful to that way of eating since March and I am now at 247.5 pounds.
This is the first time in my life that I have been able to take off a significant amount of weight and I am NOT going back. Encouraged by the strides I've been able to make by the changes in my diet, I decided it was time to add counting calories and exercise to the mix. That led me here. I see now how counting calories is so important to someone like me. My biggest problems in the past weren't because I was necessarily eating too much at meal time, it was because of all I was eating before meal time. I am a habitual grazer/picker. I was horrible about picking at meals as I was preparing them - a little cheese for my sandwich, a little cheese for me. I never realized how many extra calories I must have been eating because of all that grazing.
I'm hoping with calorie counting, exercise, and my diet, I can continue to get this weight off and truly feel confident and good about myself for the first time in my life...0 -
Welcome Elisha! First off, you are gorgeous! Way to go on your weight loss! I can so relate to how you felt not being able to go grocery shopping, etc. Just loading the dish washer was painful for me at my highest weight. We are on our way now though. Congrats again! You got this!0
