Weird new urge

justcat206

Back in my ana days I was never really into fitness. Once in a while I'd lift or do some bodyweight somethingorother but I was all about restricting calories in, instead of worrying about calories out. I spent all my energy figuring out how to get by without eating - eating just 500-900 calories/day. Didn't really worry about burning them.

But lately - I'm getting a little nuts about the idea of torching calories. Maybe it's because I'm so freaking in love with food. I want to eat it all. Just sticking to 1450 is haaaaard especially with my sweet tooth. I really love lifting, and I want to have lots of energy to pick up all the heavy things - but its' so disheartening to see "burned 70 calories doing strength training" when other people are burning like 800 + going for a long run. I know MFP's calorie estimations are meh at best but holy cow I'm starting to fantasize about running for hours or plugging my kids in to some tv so I can go kill an hour on the elliptical (which I won't do, don't worry).

I've been eating so much lately I always feel full which is a really scary thing for me. I'm above maintenance calories and I'm not burning the excess and I'm so paranoid about getting fat. I have zero desire to restrict (which is weird for me) but I'm so annoyed that I can't spend hours doing cardio, which is not at all productive or what I need.

I guess I'm just venting because this is a totally new feeling for me. I'm just not sure how to stop obsessing about calories and freaking out about getting fat. I love lifting and don't want to change what I'm doing, really - but I'm all nuts about eating too much. I have a fitness instructor friend who's always posting "burned 1500 cal teaching today - time to go eat!" and I'm SO envious. I would love to have that kind of freedom with food.

First world problems, eh? People are starving to death all over the world and I"m all "ohmigoodness I ate food now I need to go ruuuuuun"

guidothecat

Oh I hear you! I can't do cardio at ALL because I can't stop. I do yoga and some body weight exercises. That is all I can do without going overboard.

It is hard to not overeat some days and then restrict the next few. When I was logging my food, I went with weekly averages for calories because it took some of the 'edge' off the craziness.

I don't log at all anymore. Some days I do a 'spot check' and log part of my dairy to make sure I am still on track. I think my weight is about the same as when I stopped logging, I don't go back to the Nutritionist for about a month, and I don't weight myself.

Overexercising is also part of ED, try to keep it in check? :flowerforyou:

aly_mc

Doing weight lifting sounds like it's a good in-between exercise. If you had the inclination/resources you could incorporate yoga into your routine. It can be intense at times or relaxing depending on the instructor. I find for me, it's somewhere between light cardio and subtle body strengthening.

Also, I find it's something that's hard to "over-do" as in do too many times a week/etc. It can also be calming, and a good way to be in touch with your body.