Hey Ladies! Question!
Skittle_BoomBoom
Posts: 72
I have been in an open relationship for two years. Now, a lot of people don't really understand what exactly that means so I will provide you with the definition my girlfriend and I have set for ourselves: An open relationship is indeed a non monogamous relationship in which two people agree that they are young and still in their sexual prime and while it is a beautiful thing to find someone who you can see yourself spending the rest of your life with, you also recognize that there will be other people that will come and go in your life that you feel attraction to and instead of deeming that terrible, you are allowed to explore it, as long as both parties know your situation.
Rules:
1. As stated before, the girl you are trying to see must be fully aware of your open relationship status
2. If you are dating someone, make sure they are STD free (especially if bisexual)
3. Let the person know nothing serious will ever come out of it
4. People who are into non monogamous relationships are bonus!
Would you ever do this personally? What rules would you have set in place?
Rules:
1. As stated before, the girl you are trying to see must be fully aware of your open relationship status
2. If you are dating someone, make sure they are STD free (especially if bisexual)
3. Let the person know nothing serious will ever come out of it
4. People who are into non monogamous relationships are bonus!
Would you ever do this personally? What rules would you have set in place?
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Replies
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Personally I don't think that I would, I don't like to say never because one never knows and I like to keep an open mind but I have always been monogamous and that works for me.
These days I've been with my partner for 4 years and we were married at the beginning of the year. We have talked about different relationships models but non monogamy doesn't really appeal to either of us, to me it feels all too complicated.
Do you find it works well for you?0 -
No... never, ever, ever lol For some people it works and if you and your girlfriend have managed to make it work, I'm seriously impressed. I'll be honest, I'd get jealous. My own personal marriage is a little special. He doesn't mind if I date women, but he stays monogamous. I know it sounds selfish, but it was his idea because he knows I have needs. I've only ever dated a woman once in our two year marriage and there was so much drama I decided not to even try again for a long while. I could never be in a completely open relationship. I can't handle that potential drama.0
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no.. i belive if you find someone you want to be with, be with them and them only... dont get me wrong i have nothing aginast it i just wouldnt do it0
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yeah, it's not for me. at the very least, i'd get jealous and/or hurt and i'm fairly sure my partner would too. plus, why tempt fate? obviously, walking around one might find someone they instantly hit it off with and fall in love regardless of relationship status, but I feel like having intimate relationships with others invites that to happen and raises the overall probability.
I'm cool with others doing this, i don't judge. it just isn't right for me. i'm also not one for sex with strangers or one night stands; different topic sorta, but i want to be intimate on multiple levels with any sexual partners.0 -
It has worked for me very well. When we first met, she brought up the idea of an open relationship and I, too, screamed NOOOOO to the heavens. I had not ever thought that was the way I'd ever go in a relationship but the connection I have with her was so deep that I eventually agreed because I knew I'd never find someone like her again. Once into the relationship, we both made our rules and that was that! It's been two years since then and I've went on plenty of dates, but nothing has really panned out (looking for a FWB, my girl's sex drive is rather low while mine is through the roof). It's an interesting experience I must say, and so many people have said exactly what you guys have brought up! Thank you for your input guys!0
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No I like how "especially if bisexual".
No not for me. Sounds nasty.0 -
i wouldn't do it or be able to do it. Im too loyal and i am only satisfied with the feeling of emotions i get from a one on one relationship. i am unable to love or like two people at a time. once im yours, im only yours. until of course im not anymore. lol. but no i wouldnt be able to do it. nor would i ever want to.0
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Yes, i'll agree. The "especially if you're a bisexual" is a little much. You should check yourself regardless. I know people of both extremes that are much worse so don't generalize.
Regardless on that fact, I do not think i would be able to do non monogamy. If i'm with someone i'm theirs forever. Now, it's a purely casual relationship where there is literally no attachment and it's a booty call that's fine. I'll do that all day and night and go out and meet but if it's a real relationship where i know you and love you I could not imagine being with someone else.0 -
I didn't mean the "bisexual" comment in a mean way. Man to woman contact has a higher risk to spread STDs than someone who is strictly woman to woman because fluids aren't really in contact with each other in lesbian sex.. :grumble: Someone always has to take offense. My bad. I didn't mean it in a rude way.0
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The "especially of you're bisexual" is right on point. There is a much greater risk of STDs between men and women than there is between two women. As a bisexual woman I take no offense and I'm not really sure why anyone would. It's just the facts. Everyone should get checked, but women who have sex with men should be especially cautious.0
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Well said Chelsea0
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I don't think I could do it either but glad it's working for the both of you!
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I was non-monogamous the first 2 or 3 years of my current (going on 13 year) relationship and have been for last three+ years. We are much happier this way.
Although, holy **** the drama sometimes.0 -
No I like how "especially if bisexual".
No not for me. Sounds nasty.
This was suppose to read as:
I like how "especially if bisexual" - I was just observing it made me chuckle
No not for me, sounds nasty - meaning I am working on jealousy issues.
Wasn't taking offense or meaning to sound like an idiot. Apologies!0 -
No... never, ever, ever lol For some people it works and if you and your girlfriend have managed to make it work, I'm seriously impressed. I'll be honest, I'd get jealous. My own personal marriage is a little special. He doesn't mind if I date women, but he stays monogamous. I know it sounds selfish, but it was his idea because he knows I have needs. I've only ever dated a woman once in our two year marriage and there was so much drama I decided not to even try again for a long while. I could never be in a completely open relationship. I can't handle that potential drama.
My husband and I had the exact same experience! The need never goes away, but the crazy that came along with it....YIKES!0 -
No... never, ever, ever lol For some people it works and if you and your girlfriend have managed to make it work, I'm seriously impressed. I'll be honest, I'd get jealous. My own personal marriage is a little special. He doesn't mind if I date women, but he stays monogamous. I know it sounds selfish, but it was his idea because he knows I have needs. I've only ever dated a woman once in our two year marriage and there was so much drama I decided not to even try again for a long while. I could never be in a completely open relationship. I can't handle that potential drama.
My husband and I had the exact same experience! The need never goes away, but the crazy that came along with it....YIKES!
Sometimes I wish the need would just disappear. That one experience made me never want to try again. I've been ignoring it ever since. To this day I can't even say her name lol For me it's just not worth it... for now at least.0 -
No... never, ever, ever lol For some people it works and if you and your girlfriend have managed to make it work, I'm seriously impressed. I'll be honest, I'd get jealous. My own personal marriage is a little special. He doesn't mind if I date women, but he stays monogamous. I know it sounds selfish, but it was his idea because he knows I have needs. I've only ever dated a woman once in our two year marriage and there was so much drama I decided not to even try again for a long while. I could never be in a completely open relationship. I can't handle that potential drama.
My husband and I had the exact same experience! The need never goes away, but the crazy that came along with it....YIKES!
Sometimes I wish the need would just disappear. That one experience made me never want to try again. I've been ignoring it ever since. To this day I can't even say her name lol For me it's just not worth it... for now at least.
EXACTLY!!!!
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Monogamous for me.
I give everything to that person.0 -
All the more power to you if it works and makes you happy.
Personally I wouldn't be able to handle an open relationship.0 -
Hey whatever floats your boat... I dont judge. However it wouldn't work for me. I have also learned that I can't date someone who is okay with an open relationship or the occasional 3-some... Im just a one woman at a time kinda gal.0
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Enjoy as you see fit. I could never do this personally, as I like monogamy. I get jealous easily at things I shouldn't, so I can't imagine what would happen in an open relationship. Good luck to you.0
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I haven't been with a partner who has wanted to do it, but I wouldn't mind allowing them other sexual partners under an agreed set of rules. I realize as an asexual I won't be able to meet the needs of some partners if I'm in a "mixed relationship" (between a sexual and an asexual party).
All of my romantic partners to date have preferred to remain exclusive, though I have offered it as an option to them.
I'm flattered in a way. I haven't ever mainstream dated an absolute stranger, though. I don't know if that matters, but I only date individuals who I have come to trust first as friends. I do enjoy not sharing to be perfectly honest, but I care more about the keeping my partner happy. I feel all relationships come at some level of compromise.0 -
deleted my comment due to old post.0
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