Beautiful and Handsome
KarenZen
Posts: 1,430 Member
On my way out the door for aquasize, but this topic has been in my head since I read another post by a group member who said she feels more beautiful now than she did when at her goal weight, that loving herself and appreciating her own beauty took more than just being" thin."
So here's a question for you: do you feel beautiful (or handsome)? What parts of your body do you love? What do you do to make b yourself feel more beautiful or handsome? Who do you look at as role models or inspirations for feeling beautiful or handsome?
Photographs of me always shock me--I'm so much bigger than I think I am! But Selfies have been a revelation. I take Selfies and record video messages for my sister all the time, and I look adorable. Sometimes I b look in the mirror and go" wow! Here you were feeling so hideous, but you look gorgeous with your twinkly blue eyes." Maybe I live in a fantasyland, in fact I'm sure I do, but I feel like I have such a glorious inner glow (I'm kind, loving, generous, funny...) that if someone REALLY looks at me, they see all of that beauty. I suppose that self confidence allows this 474 pound woman to walk into the pool area at the Y this morning in a bathing suit!
My husband, who has watched me balloon from a young, 260 pound fat-athlete to an almost 50, 492 pound limping woman on crutches, says I'm gorgeous. And all those people who don't see my beauty... well, I feel sorry for them, and if they make snide remarks, I ignore them.
I remember a wonderful short story by Stuart Dybeck about these inner city kids from Chicago who looked for and found beauty in the most unlikely places in the slums. When they saw something beautiful, they would stop and admire it and say, "Beauty. Dig it." LOL... I love that. Beauty. Dig it.
So what's your beauty secret?
So here's a question for you: do you feel beautiful (or handsome)? What parts of your body do you love? What do you do to make b yourself feel more beautiful or handsome? Who do you look at as role models or inspirations for feeling beautiful or handsome?
Photographs of me always shock me--I'm so much bigger than I think I am! But Selfies have been a revelation. I take Selfies and record video messages for my sister all the time, and I look adorable. Sometimes I b look in the mirror and go" wow! Here you were feeling so hideous, but you look gorgeous with your twinkly blue eyes." Maybe I live in a fantasyland, in fact I'm sure I do, but I feel like I have such a glorious inner glow (I'm kind, loving, generous, funny...) that if someone REALLY looks at me, they see all of that beauty. I suppose that self confidence allows this 474 pound woman to walk into the pool area at the Y this morning in a bathing suit!
My husband, who has watched me balloon from a young, 260 pound fat-athlete to an almost 50, 492 pound limping woman on crutches, says I'm gorgeous. And all those people who don't see my beauty... well, I feel sorry for them, and if they make snide remarks, I ignore them.
I remember a wonderful short story by Stuart Dybeck about these inner city kids from Chicago who looked for and found beauty in the most unlikely places in the slums. When they saw something beautiful, they would stop and admire it and say, "Beauty. Dig it." LOL... I love that. Beauty. Dig it.
So what's your beauty secret?
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Replies
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I understand what you mean. I was almost at goal once and I remember telling my best friend that I thought I was prettier when I was heavy. She was trying to be nice and was pointing out all the good benefits of my weight-loss. I told her "Im not saying I'm going to gain the weight back just because of vanity, but do you think I looked prettier heavy? " She said " It will just take some getting used to, you're not as flashy, not as sparkling!?! " What I understand now is, I was depressed! That inner glow and beauty will fallow me this time. And yea, I'm going to look different, but I will still be beautiful! Blessings
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Lol:laugh: I never really answered the guestion. I love a lot of things about myself. My most beautiful feature is my eyes!! I also love and am a little frightened of losing my voluminous breasts and bottom. :blushing:0
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Hahaha... ditto on the boobs. I love mine and so does the hubby, so I don't want to lose them. On the list for Thailand will be surgically putting them back where they belong!0
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I wish I felt better about myself. I look at my pictures from a few years back and my face even was clearer than it is now. My best feature I think is my eyes. Now when I see pictures of myself I see this sad person looking back at me, for letting her get to this size. I have rosacea so my face gets red with certain trigger points as it is, but I have always been able to keep it under control. Now though, since I have gained so much weight, it is red most of the time, and I even get breakouts now
. My boobs though, I would like to keep, though of course they are normally one of the first things to go lol. It is really difficult though seeing myself now. My husband tells me he loves me and thinks I am beautiful, but I just don't see it. I see myself when I was 173 pounds, after losing about 80 pounds and feeling wonderful for the first time in my life, yes still overweight, but I was thinner than I had ever been in my adult life. And then my husband came back from Afghanistan and we went through a lot of life changes so I gained all of this weight back and more to go with it. It breaks my heart everyday that I allowed "ME" to do this again. Maybe I have a lot of anger towards myself and it is hard for me to see the real me under all of this now? 0 -
Role model for beauty? Melissa McCarthy. She is gorgeous at every size. And Queen Latifa!0
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I honestly feel I'm very beautiful. Like some days I'll look in the mirror, or take a picture and I"m just like... yes...
But like all people I have my days. And I don't like seeing pictures taken of me... by like anyone but me for the most part lol.0 -
To answer your questions truthfully Karen,
1) No
2) None
3) Nothing
4) Myself
I know what I look like when I am not this weight and this body is not a reflection of who I feel I am or who I want to be. No i'm not happy with my body. This doesn't mean I am hating on myself (ok not all the time). I know what I look like naked and I can except it, i'm even to some extend comfortable with it, but no I don't love this body of mine. This isn't to say I don't have nice qualities. I like my face, I just prefer it without the fat on my neck and cheeks.
I don't feel beautiful or handsome so I don't do a lot to make myself feel beautiful or handsome. Maybe one day... A haircut would certainly help but I have a bizarre dislike/fear of hairdressers (that has nothing to do with obesity, fat or thin I have always hated going). Maybe one day I will dawn a sexy haircut.
Sadly I can't say my boobs are my best feature. Man boobs just aren't in and I can't say they give me or potential partners any great pleasure
I have no role models physically, maybe this is because I am a man and have never really cared for the standard buff male stereotype. I have myself at a healthy weight as an example. Thats what I want to be, at a healthy normal weight.
This all sound wonderfully depressing. I'm not saying one can't be beautiful or good looking with a large body. I have seen many women and men who are larger who I think are beautiful or handsome. It just not how I feel about myself at this moment, though I think I am capable of it.
That ability to be able to walk in the room and feel like your beautiful or sexually attractive to someone else. Yes I want to be able to feel like someone have found over me or lust after me, I want that, but right now I don't feel it.0 -
I am with you on this one Pat. I used to feel beautiful at any size because I seemed to be able to attract lovers anyway. I hit 45 and suddenly everything changed. The men I was attracted to were no longer attracted to me. My husband loves me, but he is not sexually attracted to me. The result is I really feel very unattractive and sometimes ugly although I project being very confident and outgoing. And I honestly don't blame anyone, certainly not my husband, it may be hypocritical but to be honest, I am not attracted to obese people either in that way. By the same token, there are a lot of skinny people I am not attracted to either. We are who we are.0
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Oh Karen, I think I love you. Your love of live and self is simply amazing and something to be admired! I have no doubt you ARE truly adorable!
As for your questions:
Do you feel beautiful? - Sometimes - I am like you, I can look in the mirror when I am all made up and like what I see. I too think I am in a fantasyland and see myself much much smaller. When I take selfies, I look great. But, when my friends take the pictures...oh God no, that is when the truth comes out and I see the reality... I am NOT beautiful, I am disgusting.
What parts of your body do you love? - My nose. That is about it.
What do you do to make yourself feel more beautiful? - Do my hair and makeup but that is even pretty rare. I just don't seem to care much. Before, when I was losing weight, I would start doing it more and more as I felt better about myself. We will see if that start happening again. So far, not so much.
Who do you look at as role models or inspirations for feeling beautiful? I really don't know. I think Adele is beautiful.
I am going on 7 years now with my husband and he has never once told me I am beautiful without me having to ask...even if I do lose all the weight and get truly beautiful in his eyes, I don't think he is the type of person to ever give a unsolicited complement and that just means I will have to get my sense of my own beauty from within.0 -
Do I feel beautiful? From the neck up - yes.
What parts of your body do you love? I love being pear-shaped. Back in the day, I was 37-26-43. I haven't had those measurements since I was 20-21, when I met my then-husband. When I became pregnant with my first son, I gained over 70 lbs and another 35 with my 2nd son. Those curves were never to be seen again. I still have my booty, but it's looking kinda small around all this fluff.
What do you do to make yourself feel more beautiful or handsome? Do my hair and makeup - just a little foundation and lip gloss. Walk with pride and confidence. How you carry yourself is just as important as the weight you are carrying. One does not define the other!!
Who do you look at as role models or inspirations for feeling beautiful or handsome? I once looked up to the large women we see in Hollywood such as Queen Latifah and Monique. However, they are now looking slimmer, especially Monique who once advocated the beauty of being a large woman, but then she lost 80 lbs. What message is she trying to get across to us now?! I LOVELOVELOVE Melissa McCarthy!!
One of my MFP friends shared this link about one of the most amazing women I have ever heard of - Ernestine Shepard. She is not overweight, but her story is truly marvelous and inspirational.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=na6yl8yIZUI 0 -
1. No, the last time I felt beautiful I was 29 and weighed 181 lbs.
2. My best features are my dark blue eyes and my small, flat to my head ears.
3. To feel pretty, I wear earrings.
4. My best example is me at a healthier weight. I admire Oprah for being beautiful at any weight.
I do have to say I didn't really feel pretty at my thin weight until I met my husband. There's something about being desired by someone that you desire that makes me feel beautiful. I'm no longer with my husband but that was a gift I'll always have even if no one ever desires me again.0
