How did you respond to questions?

KLFouty

For those of you that chose not to tell anyone but a few close friends and family about your surgery, how do you deal with questions about your weight loss? I don't think that I want to just broadcast that I am considering surgery but I know that if anyone finds out about it (they are bound to notice something after surgery), it will be a situation where everyone knows. I had to tell my boss I needed a day off to go to an all day pre-op education class and she just stared at me. I told her I would talk to her about it more later when I learned more, but I am pretty sure that she can't even legally ask WHAT I'm having done.....

Thanks for the info!
Karen

JxAAA

It wasn't my intent to tell anyone other than my immediate family and my boss since I needed my FMLA approved. I have a great relationship with my boss so I wasn't too worried, he's a man and for the most part generally minds his own business and isn't opinionated.

I neglected to tell my husband that I wasn't planning on sharing with everyone so he took care of telling other family members and some friends. Ultimately it worked out, it saved me from having to tell these people and seeing/hearing their judgement. They found out out of my presence so any judgement they had I wasn't around to witness it. I haven't received any negative feedback from anyone other than when I told my mom and sister, but once they understood my reasons they accepted it.

I also can't seem to tell a lie, a couple of people have asked me what I'm doing and it just comes out of my mouth that I had surgery even though I don't really want to broadcast it. I swear I'm like Pinocchio in that Geico commercial, I'd be a horrible motivational speaker. lol But after I tell them I had surgery I tell them I lost quite a bit pre-op using MFP, watching what I eat, tracking everything, No soda, no sugar, minimal carbs etc.

lee91356

I dont "tell" most people but given that I have lost so much weight I think that its become clear to many people who have known me what happened - especially since I live in LA and its a common thing lol. I didnt really tell people until I lost a LOT and it was obvious I had some "help" :laugh:

But when people bluntly ask me if I had WLS I shrug it off - I try to avoid a direct answer - but I can understand why they are so curious. (some even asked my parents if I was sick or if something was wrong with me because I was losing soo much weight) I do however, emphasize that it took me YEARS to lose my weight, I have very STRICT dietary rules and I try to do my best to workout and exercise. I dont like to answer yes or no to surgery because they dont understand the part of it being a weight loss tool and that its the other 3 factors that really caused me to lose the weight, and that not everyone has the same amount of success and they dont understand that either - they just assume WLS = skinny and I dont like to be judged based on that but on my hardwork.

garber6th

I have no problem telling people. I don't put it on blast, like, "Hey everyone, I had WLS" but I definitely told people who are close to me before, and now when people ask how I lost weight, I tell them. It's part of my "new normal" and I am fine with people knowing. I also feel that the more people know about it, the less judgmental they will be about it and less stigma will be attached to WLS.

KCSF

I didn't/haven't told anyone but my sister. She was my driver and my emergency contact. My husband and family members knew I was having surgery for another issue, I just elaborate with all the details of everything that happened. My husband has a phobia of anything medical so he just wanted to know the date of "the thing" and the date that I would be home. As for the loosing weight, I have been a yo-yo dieter for years and been on a strict diet since it was loosing the 10% goal set by my doctor. My family assumes I'm just doing another diet. They seem mean measure/count food and exercise and don't say anything else.

Everyone on my medical team told me this was a personal decision that I could share with as many or as few people as I wanted. My choice was to make it a lifestyle choice and keep it private.

sue100194

I've been thinking about this all day and realized that when people comment on my weight loss and want to know how I've done it, I've been telling them I've been on a high protein, low carb, low calorie diet. That's the truth although I've been leaving out the part about surgery. Maybe I'm rationalizing but I see the surgery as a tool to help me with the high protein, low carb, low calorie diet and it''s not the reason I'm losing weight. The biggest reason for weight loss is the diet (lifestyle change). Surgery is the reason I'm able to stick to the diet (lifestyle change) but not the reason I'm losing weight. My friends and family know I've had the sleeve, of course, but acquaintances.... no, I just keep it simple and brief. Likewise, if I feel the need to justify my order at a restaurant to a waitperson, I just say I've had some stomach surgery and need to be careful with food that I order, but mostly I just keep it private.

DJRonnieLINY

What you tell others is a personal choice, do what you are comfortable with.......but,

I chose to be honest and up front; "I finally found a tool to help me get healthy. I had a weight loss surgery to reduce the capacity of my stomach and now I eat a high protein diet and exercise every day. I feel better than I have in 20 years and am so glad I did it!"

It is impossible to conceal 100 pounds of weight loss in 6 months and I feel being evasive only contributes to opinons that WLS is a cop-out. I made the best decision for my health and am proud of my efforts and results.

bikrchk

What you tell others is a personal choice, do what you are comfortable with.......but,

I chose to be honest and up front; "I finally found a tool to help me get healthy. I had a weight loss surgery to reduce the capacity of my stomach and now I eat a high protein diet and exercise every day. I feel better than I have in 20 years and am so glad I did it!"

It is impossible to conceal 100 pounds of weight loss in 6 months and I feel being evasive only contributes to opinons that WLS is a cop-out. I made the best decision for my health and am proud of my efforts and results.

Amen to, this ^^^

I told my team at work and my whole family, which is small about my decision pre-op. I tell anyone who asks the truth today using (almost exactly) the words above. This tool IS the reason I've lost weight and will enable me to keep it off this time which is something I've not been able to manage in the past. This tool gave me my life back and I want everyone to know who might benefit! Without all the information, others will compare their weight loss struggle to ours and its not a fair comparison. The people who know me can see the lifestyle change: daily protein supplements, eating small portions and working out hard 5 days per week. I've had no real issues with "attitude" from others... maybe its you get back what you put out there, or maybe I just don't care what they think! Either way I'm good with it!

NashobaNJ

For me I didn't tell people at work. So far no one has really asked me either. I have 'only' lost 24lbs so far. I'm sure I'll have to field this question eventually. I am frightened thought if I say I had WLS and someone says back "you took the easy way out" that I might kick them in the shin. LOL

pawoodhull

I was very open about it with everyone from the time I made the decision. Most of the people in my life have never seen me at a normal weight, I started this at 386 pounds. And as fast as we lose in the beginning, I'm sure everyone would think WLS, really sick or dying! So I figured, why bother trying to be coy about it. Also, if by sharing I can help even one obese person find a way to healthy weight, then it's worth any negativity. But really, if there was any negativity, anyone waiting to see if I regain, or anything else, they've all kept it to themselves. All I've gotten from family, friends and co-workers is support and encouragement.

Bottom line though is that sharing or not is your personal decision. Not everyone is as open about things as I am, and that's OK. You need to handle this in a way you are comfortable with.

PS - no, by law your boss can't ask you what your surgery is. In fact, no one at the company can. It's against the HIPPA laws to ask those kinds of questions anymore.

bikermike5094

Im only in the initial stages of starting sleeve surgery but no, im not telling anybody. Aint nobodies business but my own. And if they ask how i lost so much weight, i'll tell them the truth. I changed my eating habits, use portion control and excercise.

loriloftness

I am in the first stage of the process but I have told my family and friends that I will be having the surgery. After the surgery I plan to tell people if they ask. If I could lose the 120 lbs by just exercise & watching my intake I wouldn't need this surgery. I don't want to feel like I am misleading people, especially those who might wonder why they aren't having the same results as me in the same period of time. I am not ashamed of having this surgery because it is going to save my life.

shonrecio

I initially told my husband, kids, one of my sisters, my two closest friends and one close coworker. I expressed how I did not want anyone else to know until I was ready. Two weeks before surgery I told my mom and the rest of my sisters( I have 5 sisters). Since I already had to have some other medical stuff done, I let people assume my weight loss came from that. So many people look at you and want to see you either succeed or fail. I finally made it public to my church family after I had lost about 60lbs during a testimony. I still have not shared with any other coworkers, but they do ask and notice I do not eat as much, but I just tell them that since my medical issues, tumors, reflux I've changed my eating habits and exercise patterns. They have not directly asked me if I've had surgery so I don't feel the need to disclose it to them, but if someone ask, I will be honest. But this is your decision and you have to do what you feel is best for you. I know so many people will look at you differently, some good and supportive but some looking to see if you fail so make your decision based on what is best for you.

Richie2shoes

After discussing it with my wife and making the decision to have the surgery, I flat out told my father and boss that I started the process. I've told a few friends and coworkers when the subject of dieting/weightloss came up. If people ask, I'll tell them. I don't care who knows. For that matter, other than my wife and father, I don't care what the others think.

Mangopickle

I had a few eye rolls in the beginning but I would always say "Weight loss surgery will take off 20-30 lbs but, NOT eating wheat, rice or potato is what takes off 80-120 lbs". Interesting thing I notice now, nobody makes any disparaging remarks or comments on my dietary lifestyle now that I wear size 8 slacks.

jogawa15

I was very honest at work I needed the time off and I knew they would see that I ate differently and wanted the support. I didn't tell everyone but the people around me all knew and have been so supportive. My family all knows. I didn't post it on my Facebook or anything but I am pretty open. I generally tell people I have told some strangers low carb and exercise but honestly want people to know about the vertical sleeve as an option.

Have had some negative comments from people I know casually. Recently I pick and chose who I tell I mean I don't need to tell very person I meet. I think it is nice for family to know but everyone is different.

JreedyJanelle

I don't intend on telling anyone! If nosy people ask, I may just ask why they are asking. I work in an industry that requires working at many projects for different clients, a few will know I am losing, but not many will even notice.