It's Friday, so why not some humor?
DonPendergraft
Posts: 520 Member
Signs that you might be an Ultrarunner... :laugh:
• You wonder why they don't make all running socks a dusty brown color.
• You have more dirt on your shoes than in your garden.
• You think that Ibuprofen belongs on the breakfast table.
• You don't recognize your friends with their clothes on.
• You have more buckles than belts.
• You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training.
• 6am is sleeping in
• Your feet look better without toenails
• Your idea of a fun date is a 30-mile training run
• You're tempted to look for a bush when there's a long line for the public restroom
• You don't think twice about eating food you've picked up off the floor
• You can expound on the virtues of eating salt
• Your ideal way to celebrate your birthday is to run at least your age in miles with some fellow crazies.
• You know the location of every 7-11, public restroom, and water fountain within a 25-mile radius of your house.
• You run marathons for speedwork.
• You have more fanny packs and water bottles and flashlights than Imelda Marcos has shoes.
• You visit a national park with your family and notice a thirty-mile trail connecting where you are with the place your family wants to visit next, which is a 100-mile drive away, and you think "Hmmmm".
• Someone asks you how long your training run is going to be and you answer "seven or eight ... hours".
• People at work think you're in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
• You actually are in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
• Your weekend runs are limited by how much time you have, not by how far you can run.
• You always have at least one black toenail.
• You think of pavement as a necessary evil that connects trails.
• You rotate your running shoes more often than you rotate your tires.
• Your friends recognize you better dressed in shorts than in long pants.
• You really envied Tom Hanks' long run as Forest Gump.
• You carry money around in a ziplock bag because store clerks complained that your money's usually too sweaty.
• Any time a plain old runner talks about her aches and pains, you can
• sympathize because you've already had that at least once.
• You put more miles on your feet than on your rental car over the weekend
• You start planning the family vacation around races, and vice-versa.
• You become a quasi-expert on different detergents so as to not "hurt" your t-shirts
• You leave work early to hit the trails
• You wear t-shirts based on if you've had good work outs when you've worn them before
• You walk up the stairs and run down them.
• Peeing in the toilet seems unreal.
• You start wearing running clothes to work so that you're all prepared.
• Lube isn't just for fun anymore.
@**!! is the fire?"
• When you sign up for a 10K and you strap on your fanny pack because you never know where the aid stations are.
• You bring your own drinks
• You bring potatoes and salt
• You start fast and a six year old passes you
• You are the only one walking the up hills
• You run it a second time because its not far enough to call a training run (and you were racing the
• first time through)
• You are the only one around who is eyeing the bushes THAT way
• You punch the lap button on your watch instead of the stop button at the finish
• The NEXT GAS 36 MILES" signs start sounding like a tempting run.
• The number of toes and toenails you have is not equal
• You drink from a water bottle at the dinner table:laugh:
• You consider the mold and mildew in your bottles extra electrolytes
• You just found out Poison and Oak are words by themselves...
• You know you're an ultrarunner when your crew tries to keep you motivated by saying, "You're in second place and only 6 hours behind first with 25 miles to go!"
• You know you're an ultrarunner when you don't finish on the same day as the winner.
• You know you're an ultrarunner when people praise you to the high heavens for being able to finish a marathon, and you feel insulted.
When you meet the opposite sex you see:
• A possible crew.
• A possible pacer.
• A possible search and rescue team.
• A possible race director.
• A possible source of race entry fees.
The opposite sex looks backs and thinks:
• An Ultrarunner, gee I sure would like to crew.
• An Ultrarunner, sure would like to spend the night in the woods with them!
• An Ultrarunner, I've been searching all of my life.
• An Ultrarunner, sure hope my event is attractive.
• An Ultrarunner, wonder if I could watch at Badwater, if I pay their way.
• You know you're an ultra runner when you can really identify with those scenes at night in the woods in The Blair Witch Project.
• You know you are an ultrarunner when somebody asks about the distance of an upcoming race and you, without thinking, say, "Oh, it's just a 50K."...forgetting that for most people, a 5K is a heck of an accomplishment.
• Everything in your life, everything, is organized in different sized zip-loc bags.
• You know you are an ultrarunner when you get to the 81 mile point of a 100 miler and say to yourself, "Wow, only 19 miles left!"
• You know you're an ultra runner when no one believes you when you say "never again".
• You try to tie double knots in your Oxfords.
• You pass a swamp towards the end of a run and think 'How bad could it be?"
• You're embarrassed that you've only done 50K's...
• When livestock salt blocks look good after a run.
• When you go down a flight of stairs, uh, backwards, after an ultra and everybody laughs.
• Prior to running a difficult race, you check to see if local hospitals and urgent care centers are in your PPO.
• The only time major household projects get done is in a taper or race recovery.
• You've started a race in the dark, run all day, and finished in the dark (if your lucky).
• Your non-Ultrarunning running friends look at you strange when you tell them that 10:00/Mile is a fast pace for a 100 mile race (not to mention most ultras).
• You don't hesitate to lie down in the trail (anywhere) when you are falling asleep on your feet during the early morning hours on the second day of a 100 miler; and it feels so comfortable.
• You know your an ultra runner when you meet someone of the opposite sex on the trail of a 100 and all of conversation is about what color is your urine, can you drink? and were you able to dump.
• Ya know you're and ultra runner when a girl changes her tank and her bra in front of you and all you do is take another drink of water, look at your watch, get up and tell your pacer "Let's hit the trail."
• You know you’re an ultrarunner when you actually sit down and read all of the postings about, "You know you’re an ultrarunner when..." and can laugh and relate to all of the comments.
• You wonder why they don't make all running socks a dusty brown color.
• You have more dirt on your shoes than in your garden.
• You think that Ibuprofen belongs on the breakfast table.
• You don't recognize your friends with their clothes on.
• You have more buckles than belts.
• You postpone your wedding because it will interfere with your training.
• 6am is sleeping in
• Your feet look better without toenails
• Your idea of a fun date is a 30-mile training run
• You're tempted to look for a bush when there's a long line for the public restroom
• You don't think twice about eating food you've picked up off the floor
• You can expound on the virtues of eating salt
• Your ideal way to celebrate your birthday is to run at least your age in miles with some fellow crazies.
• You know the location of every 7-11, public restroom, and water fountain within a 25-mile radius of your house.
• You run marathons for speedwork.
• You have more fanny packs and water bottles and flashlights than Imelda Marcos has shoes.
• You visit a national park with your family and notice a thirty-mile trail connecting where you are with the place your family wants to visit next, which is a 100-mile drive away, and you think "Hmmmm".
• Someone asks you how long your training run is going to be and you answer "seven or eight ... hours".
• People at work think you're in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
• You actually are in a whole lot better shape than you think you are.
• Your weekend runs are limited by how much time you have, not by how far you can run.
• You always have at least one black toenail.
• You think of pavement as a necessary evil that connects trails.
• You rotate your running shoes more often than you rotate your tires.
• Your friends recognize you better dressed in shorts than in long pants.
• You really envied Tom Hanks' long run as Forest Gump.
• You carry money around in a ziplock bag because store clerks complained that your money's usually too sweaty.
• Any time a plain old runner talks about her aches and pains, you can
• sympathize because you've already had that at least once.
• You put more miles on your feet than on your rental car over the weekend
• You start planning the family vacation around races, and vice-versa.
• You become a quasi-expert on different detergents so as to not "hurt" your t-shirts
• You leave work early to hit the trails
• You wear t-shirts based on if you've had good work outs when you've worn them before
• You walk up the stairs and run down them.
• Peeing in the toilet seems unreal.
• You start wearing running clothes to work so that you're all prepared.
• Lube isn't just for fun anymore.
@**!! is the fire?"
• When you sign up for a 10K and you strap on your fanny pack because you never know where the aid stations are.
• You bring your own drinks
• You bring potatoes and salt
• You start fast and a six year old passes you
• You are the only one walking the up hills
• You run it a second time because its not far enough to call a training run (and you were racing the
• first time through)
• You are the only one around who is eyeing the bushes THAT way
• You punch the lap button on your watch instead of the stop button at the finish
• The NEXT GAS 36 MILES" signs start sounding like a tempting run.
• The number of toes and toenails you have is not equal
• You drink from a water bottle at the dinner table:laugh:
• You consider the mold and mildew in your bottles extra electrolytes
• You just found out Poison and Oak are words by themselves...
• You know you're an ultrarunner when your crew tries to keep you motivated by saying, "You're in second place and only 6 hours behind first with 25 miles to go!"
• You know you're an ultrarunner when you don't finish on the same day as the winner.
• You know you're an ultrarunner when people praise you to the high heavens for being able to finish a marathon, and you feel insulted.
When you meet the opposite sex you see:
• A possible crew.
• A possible pacer.
• A possible search and rescue team.
• A possible race director.
• A possible source of race entry fees.
The opposite sex looks backs and thinks:
• An Ultrarunner, gee I sure would like to crew.
• An Ultrarunner, sure would like to spend the night in the woods with them!
• An Ultrarunner, I've been searching all of my life.
• An Ultrarunner, sure hope my event is attractive.
• An Ultrarunner, wonder if I could watch at Badwater, if I pay their way.
• You know you're an ultra runner when you can really identify with those scenes at night in the woods in The Blair Witch Project.
• You know you are an ultrarunner when somebody asks about the distance of an upcoming race and you, without thinking, say, "Oh, it's just a 50K."...forgetting that for most people, a 5K is a heck of an accomplishment.
• Everything in your life, everything, is organized in different sized zip-loc bags.
• You know you are an ultrarunner when you get to the 81 mile point of a 100 miler and say to yourself, "Wow, only 19 miles left!"
• You know you're an ultra runner when no one believes you when you say "never again".
• You try to tie double knots in your Oxfords.
• You pass a swamp towards the end of a run and think 'How bad could it be?"
• You're embarrassed that you've only done 50K's...
• When livestock salt blocks look good after a run.
• When you go down a flight of stairs, uh, backwards, after an ultra and everybody laughs.
• Prior to running a difficult race, you check to see if local hospitals and urgent care centers are in your PPO.
• The only time major household projects get done is in a taper or race recovery.
• You've started a race in the dark, run all day, and finished in the dark (if your lucky).
• Your non-Ultrarunning running friends look at you strange when you tell them that 10:00/Mile is a fast pace for a 100 mile race (not to mention most ultras).
• You don't hesitate to lie down in the trail (anywhere) when you are falling asleep on your feet during the early morning hours on the second day of a 100 miler; and it feels so comfortable.
• You know your an ultra runner when you meet someone of the opposite sex on the trail of a 100 and all of conversation is about what color is your urine, can you drink? and were you able to dump.
• Ya know you're and ultra runner when a girl changes her tank and her bra in front of you and all you do is take another drink of water, look at your watch, get up and tell your pacer "Let's hit the trail."
• You know you’re an ultrarunner when you actually sit down and read all of the postings about, "You know you’re an ultrarunner when..." and can laugh and relate to all of the comments.
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