The main forums are no help. Posting here.

shining_light

I get sexually harassed just about on a daily basis when I leave the house. I always binge and gain back any weight that I lose because I'm terrified of the sexual advances. It's not okay. I don't want to be attractive. I worked out indoors today because I just couldn't deal with a sexual advance or being eyed up today. I just can't deal with it. The anxiety is really getting to me. I know it's a Catch 22, by the way. Victimizers victimize those who are not confident, and I am not confident because I am victimized, and I would be more confident if I lost weight. Would I be victimized less if I lost weight and was more confident? I don't know, and if I'm not, I just don't know.

Nobody seems to get this. I don't want to be attractive. I want to disappear. I've considered wearing floor-length shapeless skirts to hide my body. Someone help me. This is killing me.

chr1st1na6464

I get it. Weight is a great way to protect yourself from the unwelcome advances of others. I was raped when I was 16 and there were several other near misses. I truly believe that I use fat as protection. Therapy may help. Hang in there!

Colorful12

Shining Light, I've been thinking a lot about invisibility recently. Being obese and now age 50 I often feel that I am a disappeared person in public. I don't like it. It freaks me out that the larger I get the less eye contact I get on the street. However, cat calling is abusive and harassing and downright scary. I don't believe men when they say they think you should take it as a compliment. The only way I know is to arm yourself by taking a self defense class. I say this because it makes you feel empowered and strong and gives you skills that would in fact help you to ward off an attacker. I took one 20 years ago and I still remember what I learned. I took a class where the "predators " wear huge padded gear so you can hit and punch at full strength while learning. Scary as hell but very life changing and affirming. So I walk down the street and know I can drown out abuse and concentrate on my next move.