Struggles & Triumphs

AeiriMuse

We all have stories of our ups and downs. Sometimes, just knowing that someone else got back up on their feet after a tragedy helps us to do the same.

If you have a story you wish to share, please do! It doesn't absolutely have to do with fitness--it can be about losing a loved one, losing a home, or losing a job. Most of us have been there.

bookworm_847

On Monday, my sister is getting in her car and moving 2800 miles away. She's my best friend, and we've always taken good care of each other. But now she'll be too far away for me to take care of. I'm going to miss her like crazy even though we'll still be able to visit once in a while, and we can talk on the phone, Facebook, and Skype. But it won't be the same. I can't just drive to her house to bring her stuff when she's not feeling well, or go to her work if she or I (or both) just really need a "sister hug." She gives the best hugs. She's been working at a motorcycle gear shop, and even a lot of her regular customers agree with that statement, lol. I'm just really nervous for her, too. She's taking a huge leap of faith by moving, and I just hope things work out for her. It'll be anxious days and nights for me until I know she's safe and sound in Texas. I know she's 28 years old, but to me, she's still the same little girl with wild, curly hair who I used to play Barbies with.

I'm a bit nervous for myself, too. In 2005, she quite possibly saved my life by making me get help for my depression. She's the only one who's ever been able to successfully use "tough love" with me. A couple years ago, I had just about reached the end of my rope with some stuff in my life when my husband and I were looking at buying a house. So, I started looking at houses closer to my husband's mom in New Mexico (I'm in Washington state). A good friend of mine said to me, "For all the years I've known you, the ONLY thing that has always helped you when you're depressed is your sister. What happens when you need her and you've moved out to the desert?" And he was right. What am I gonna do? (That's more of a rhetorical question, I guess).

She and my husband are the only things that kept me from getting in my car and just blowing Dodge a few times over the past couple of years. It'll be hard on my husband for a while because he and my sister sort of shared the load when it came to helping me pick myself up. Now it'll be mostly him. He's got PTSD and depression from his deployment in Iraq, so I hate having this burden placed on him. I've tried just keeping my thoughts and feelings to myself, but I've learned over the course of our marriage that I can't hide anything from him. Luckily (or not), he'll be going to visit some relatives for a month starting Tuesday. It may be a planning fail on my part, or it might just work out for the best. I can exercise, clean, do yard work, etc. to my heart's content in an effort to get myself put together again before he comes back home. We'll see what happens.

I'm just about to graduate from round one of Combat, so maybe I'll just jump into round two. I've loved it so far. Or maybe Insanity. Either program should help keep my mind occupied!

TL;DR My sister is moving and I'm a bit of an emotional mess. :ohwell:

AeiriMuse

Oh, I know the feeling. My last year is the reflection of what it was like to be the sister moving. I miss my little sis and my goofy dad so much! As well as a lot of really close friends I still have in NV.

For a while, I was a total wreck, but, y'know what? It gets better because she's simply just a distance away. You -WILL- see her and suddenly holiday vacations have a whole new twist, meaning, and level of importance. Since you said you like to write, I say to go ahead and be pen pals with her! Sure, we're in a day and age where messages can be sent immediately via a phone, email, or social media, but sometimes the minutes spent deciphering the other person's handwriting is just way more personal, way more endearing, and way more fun.

Not to mention that writing a letter takes a lot more time than typing it. Especially if you're focusing on good penmanship. It may prove to be a very valuable outlet if you feel you need a distraction. *hugs*

bookworm_847

That must be difficult. Do you get to go visit your friends and family in NV often?

Thanks for the suggestion. Now that you mentioned the pen pal idea, I remembered that when she was still in high school in Montana and I was here in Washington starting college, we'd mail each other little things that we found--sometimes something nice, but usually just something goofy. That helped a little. Perhaps I'll try to start that up along with some letter writing.

AeiriMuse

It was extremely difficult at first because I felt like such an outcast and outsider in this little town area. I'm only JUST NOW starting to feel like part of Jake's family over here. All of my family members that are around my age all moved out in NV, I'm the first of my generation to leave the state. So it was a learning experience, too.

I only got to see them in April when I went there for a friend's wedding, but now that you mention it, Jake has been striving for a lot of OT so he can earn enough for me to go visit for Christmas. Though, I might instead request that my sister and my dad come visit us here. Both sides of the family feel that Jake and I are a match for life, so I think it would be best if the Spittell household got to know the LeJuine household in person.

AeiriMuse

So, I think my biggest day to day struggle is feeling alone. I make friends online pretty well, but in person--not so much. As much as I'm proud of Jake for being responsible, thoughtful, and determined to work as much over time hours as he can possibly grasp, it means he is gone for more than half of every day. It doesn't help that I can't just wake up with as little sleep as he can. 7.5 hours is pushing it and most of the time I can't even try to open my eyes without eight hours of sleep. So, after staying up until he goes to bed, he gets up at 11:00am but I can't get myself up until half after noon or later, and he leaves at either a little after 2pm or at 3:30pm for work.

So, I miss him a lot. I spend his shift focusing on something--anything from cleaning to drawing to fitness to MFP--to make the hours swoosh by faster so I can see him come home again. I've tried to text him constantly, but at the same time having him text back and forth with me spikes my anxiety; he drives patrol 97% of his shift. I have issues calling because I honestly don't have anything to talk about except for our dog, anything I have drawn or written, or meal ideas. I would gladly visit him every day if our vehicle weren't so out of shape and didn't guzzle so much gas.

It's hard, but I suppose the one thing that always gets me through it every time is that when he is home, I can make him smile. I can cool his head when he's frustrated. I can calm his nerves when he's worried or concerned about something. I can help him relax and feel at home.

bookworm_847

Good for you for having stuff to do. That's sweet that you just want to have contact even though you don't have much to say. My husband will call me at work sometimes just because we like hearing each other's voices.... he usually just ends up telling me what chores he's done so far and what our cats are up to, lol.

Are there any gyms/sports clubs or book clubs or anything nearby? That might help expand your IRL social circle a little bit and maybe help you to not feel so lonesome for your sweetie during the day.

AeiriMuse

It's a really small town and everyone is very church united. I'm not a religious person. I don't like church--never have. EVERYONE here is the type to get offended if I say I'm not one to go to church or it just isn't my thing. They have gyms, but not only is that another expense, there are only single men there and I'm usually awake during night time hours As I lose weight, I realize it is harder for me to defend myself if someone was to attack me. I'm small and easy to pick up, with the weight lost, it's even easier. (My boyfriend has proven it.) So gyms are a kinda scary idea.

I've tried going to Books-A-Million to hang out and write/draw, but I'm invisible to other people. Except little kids. Somehow, I always get their attention and get them to smile. They goof off with me instead of running a muck. (I have found it to be almost a trend out here where people have children, spoil them rotten with phones, ipads, and toys, but don't spend the light of day actually spending time with their kids. They just sorta drag them around... So when I do just the smallest of interaction with their kids, they go from being destructive (to try and get some sort of attention from their parent) to content, happy, and obedient.

When I worked for Geek Squad, I tried so hard to make friends there at the store... but all of them were fake about it. They only wanted to make drama or sucker me into covering their shifts so they can go do a party while I don't even reach the OT 1.5x pay for the week with their shift and mine together.

I will say I have made ONE friend, though. I met him through NaNoWriMo. We were the only ones in the Lake Charles area that really got together in person to write and get to know one another. The issue is I met him months before his wife gave birth to their lovely daughter, and he's not a full time daddy and deprived of extra money to really get together to do stuff or hang out.

I'm planning to participate in NaNoWriMo again this year, I might even try to be one of the event leaders and plan out get-togethers (Write-ins). I might meet more people this year, who knows. Thank you for the reply, though! You're words really help me feel better!

bookworm_847

I understand what you're saying. I'm friendly with people, but it's difficult for me to make new friends since I'm so shy and introverted. There's the kickboxing class in town, and I hear there's a book club, but I'm still working up the nerve to go!

The write-ins sound like a lot of fun! Enjoy!