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MommaSquirell
Posts: 30 Member
I am still on this journey to self discovery . Last year I was 227 at my lowest weight since I was pregnant with my daughter who is now 7 . I had too much anxiety left to control it and went through a rough period . I shot up to 250 and was miserable again . I thought that I was dealing with all of my issues , focusing on my Father , but I did not even realize it was not just my fathers addiction , the feeling of not being good enough . It was more than that , It was rooted so deep that I did not even realize how angry I was with my mother . My brother Od'd Yesterday , He is alive but , this is the 4th time in the past year . My husband drinks in excess and it has driven me mad . I am literally surrounded with the past . I have been loosing weight again and Sharing all of my stories anywhere I can . I never realized just how hurt I was how much I have been through , bullying , illness , loss , abuse, Drug addiction and I am still smiling . I never really took a moment to step back and truly appreciate me . I always feel guilt when I say positive things about myself , but I am one tough cookie . I love myself more and more each day . I had a realization about a month ago while me and my mother were talking , I told her I am so scared , I am so scared of loosing anything ..............and there it was . My journey has now led me here to release . Finding what I need for release and what I can do to detach from not only my anxieties but my weight . A goodbye letter is in the works . I shall share my letter with you all when it is time to write it . Today I have written a list of 5 things I LOVE TO DO . not with the kids , not with the husband , but 5 things I love to do . and every day I am going to do 1 of those things . Be happy everyone and know we are still inside there somewhere , connect to your inner child and listen to them . Remember who you are and do not let the past control today 
It is Not easy , but it is always worth it Love and support always know you can msg me anytime
It is Not easy , but it is always worth it Love and support always know you can msg me anytime 0