Check in May 23, 2014
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Okay gang.. busy night and no food in. I asked my husband what Subway he wanted.. first he asked for Mexican (closed) so now he wants a Gyro. I can't resist a gyro. So I have already tracked it. Why oh why does he do this when he was present when I had that emotional talk with our Weight Watchers leader last night.. why? He has always said he wants me to lose weight.. but then when I try knuckling down he does this.
Anyway.. I am in control. But I need strategies for the next time he pulls this and I really don't have the points or calories.0 -
Say no I asked what Subway you wanted not what Mexican you wanted. My Dh does some things I find very difficult to deal with too. Eating chips, drinking beer, extra butter on popcorn, and then gets annoyed when I go to bed early because I cannot stay up and resist. Is Subway near where the gyro is? Could you get yourself a sub and then eat in a different room to him so you dont have to see the gyro. Honestly our partners unless they are going through it all too, have absolutely no clue what it takes for us to try and get by on this journey. I admitted to mine the other day about always having food on the mind, and the sadness thing about the half eaten plate and how hard it is to ignore junk food when it is near me. THAT VERY EVENING he buys my favorite chips. Like did I not just confess something to you I have been living with in shame for bloody years. Did you not rub my back when my throat caught and breath hitched as I began to cry.
I do not know what the answer is ultimately
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Hitting them over their thick skull with a frying pan?0
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lol let me know if it works and I will consider it
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I found telling people exactly what I can't have in the house works. For example, "Do not buy my any Dr. Pepper or any soda, If i want one i will get myself on." Granted i'm in luck since they only drink diet and i'm not really a fan. I would try being direct and tell what goes and what doesn't and why. He might have have been at the meeting but he might not have gotten it (I wont disparage my sex but you know us). I am lucky that I am in a house with people who have or are doing their own diet weight loss.
I would also do the food split, he wants Mexican you want subway. Another option is before you go check the menu and calories if listed, maybe that will help him get that every piece of food is a decision for you. Maybe have him look it up and tell you. Make him involved even if he isn't sharing the diet, and remind him that if he really wants you to succeed the way he says he does you need his support.
Your also taking this from someone who hasn't been in a relationship in a while.0 -
To all the struggling husbands and wives, my ten cents:
My hubby and I have had a long struggle with him coming to terms with my food addiction. We're in a pretty good place now. He absolutely does not keep sugary items Into the house where I can see them. If he wants something I can't resist, he keeps it in his workshop. We've even talked about putting a small fridge in there for him.
When he wants to go out to eat, we discuss what would be best for me and where I can compromise for him.
He doesn't police or monitor... I can't stand that... but now that I use the food diary, I can show him how many calories I have left so he knows my "splurge" is really allowable.
The best talk I think you can have is the addiction one, where you explain that in this part of your journey you are very vulnerable and can't rely just on willpower. In eating disorder programs, the therapists actually suggest a 3-4 week period where YOU do NO food shopping or handling. Your spouse provides you with all of your meals and snacks. And you carry no cash so you can't buy anything. That's a lot to ask, but it's also an honest approach to what is a disorder.
If your husband had an eating disorder, what would you do to support him? If he were an alcoholic, you would empty the house of booze, right?
Sometimes when I am feeling especially vulnerable, I have to tell Jim I can't do certain things. If he needs something at rite aid but I can't face their candy aisles, I tell him he'll have to go himself. If he wants to eat out but I am craving, either we cancel, go to a really healthy place, or I eat before we go, drink a protein shake in the car, and eat a salad or an appetizer at the restaurant. I've even had to ask him to cut out coupons from the flyers because all the fattening food coupons are triggering to me. I know this is not my permanent state--as with all addictions, over time the cravings will ease, but at the same time I will never have an easy relationship with food. He's married to a food addict. .. adjust or leave. If he asked me b to make that choice , I wouldn't hesitate . I would leave. Oh, Bwahahahahahaaaaaa! NO!!! I would adjust. I love him and want him to be healthy and happy , and NO food is more important than him, just as no food for him should be,more important than you.0
