Bad Habits Creeping In or Bad Thinking?

hurricanelena

I apparently seem to be one of these people who can eat more even after the surgery. I'm about 4.5 months out and my daily calorie intake averages 1100-1200 calories a day, though if I'm eating out I can get up to 1400 cal/day. I still measure/weigh about 99% of my food (except those items I've done so many times I can eyeball it pretty well). I've started eating out again, and it most cases even an appitizer equals 2-4 meals for me.

My doctor told me that he wants me at no more than 1000 cal/day, and I've tried repeatedly to meet this goal and failed. My nutritionist thinks that I'm doing just fine, and my trainer tells me that my performance drops markedly when I'm not eating enough. The nutritionist also thinks that although I told the doctor I work out 5-6 days/week with 1-2 days of strength training, he doesn't realize the intensity of my workouts (I usually do 40-60 min, occasionally up to 120 min at moderate to high intensity) and he might be underestimating my calorie needs.

I feel like I've gotten into this horrible downwards spiral where I eat more than I should, and I've lost the ability to stop before I'm full and uncomfortable. Then I punish myself with exercise when I see everything I eat as calories that need to be burned off. To make me feel even more horrible, I just finished a six week emotional eating workshop and while I can see my negative thinking and behaviors, I can't seem to stop them.

My weight loss has been stalled or minimal for a few weeks, and the past two months have already seen a rapid diminishing in how much I'm losing as compared to intially.

Everyone keeps telling me (friend, trainer, nutritionist) how great I'm doing but I feel like I'm not doing enough or I'm not doing it right. I have promised myself a treat when I reached 100lbs, but I can't bring myself to reward myself yet. My best friend and her family even gave me enough to go to a spa day (my planned treat) but I keep telling myself that I don't deserve it.

Making me feel completely horrible and a little lost at the moment is that my best friend and support system just found out she is pregnant with her second child in what will likely be a complicated pregnancy for many reasons. So she will be (rightfully so) concentrating on her health and family and likely have a lot less time for us to interact than she has recently. I feel like the worst person on Earth for resenting her for that, partially because I just can't understand the desire to have a child to the point that it might be detrimental to your health.

Anyway, thanks for letting me ramble

relentless2121

Hi Hurricanelena,
Since I haven't had my surgery yet I can't compare my journey to yours or share my experience with you. But what I can offer you is a sounding board, empathy, compassion and friendship.

Did I hear you say that you have lost over 100 pounds? That is amazing girl. Of course you should reward yourself with that spa date. You have worked so very hard to get to where you are.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

I consider myself to be a Compulsive Overeater (from a very young age). With any addiction comes feelings of shame and guilt.
We tend to be so hard on ourselves and often believe that we are never good enough or worthy enough. That perfectionist way of thinking that many of us have. In many ways we are our own worst enemy. We can grant Grace to others but never cut ourselves any slack.:grumble:

You have worked incredibly hard and deserve to reward yourself, in a non-food way of course.
I cannot give you any medical or caloric advise, that is for your Surgeon and Bariatric Team to do.
I'm sure others on the site who have been in your shoes will share their experiences about how that part of the journey was for them.
I just want to offer my friendship and support and encourage you.
Take good care of yourself & feel free to message me as we are friends on the site.
Now give yourself a great big hug and tell yourself how beautiful and worthy that you are and go book that spa appointment. .

DJRonnieLINY

First up; you lost 100 pounds in 4 months. You are doing great - proof is in the results. Allow yourself to to enjoy that success, you earned it and you deserve to celebrate it. No "buts", no "maybe" - this is not a fake celebration. 100 pounds in 4 months!!

Now if you are seeing a trainer and a nutritionist regularly, and are accurately tracking your intake and caloric burn, then I do not see what the surgeon is concerned about. At 4 months my Dr. was most concerned with my Healing, Protein, Water and Exercise. He was not concerned with calories because he saw the weight loss. Scale doesn't lie. In order to effectively strength train you must increase calories (protein) to match exercise or your body will enter starvation mode and store fat. MFP clearly setts your daily starting goal and gives you back earned calories to eat. Early on it is nearly impossible to consume these extra calories but at 8 months out 2,000 calories of good food is relatively easy for me.

While you did mention an emotional eating seminar I would wonder if private sessions might be more effective for you. Find someone to work with who understands WLS and can support you becasue it sounds like you are doing really well and just need to believe it. Good luck.

bikrchk

100 pounds! That's amazing! From about the 4th month I began shooting for 1000-1200 calories, I'm in month 7 and near my goal now and until I reach maintenance this will be my goal. Some days I'm over, (particularly if I eat out), occasionally I'm under, (not often anymore). Keep exercising. It's good for you and will help you cope with the occasional indiscretion. Get your protein. You will not lose well if you let it slip even on low calories, (and you'll feel like crap, lose hair, etc). For me, the best motivator has been to surround myself with positive people who are on my side in this. I have an amazing monthly support group and amazing friends\family. For me, I'm most concerned about maintaining once I get to goal. When I get to that point, I'll probably be seeking a bit of professional help. Find someone to talk to who will be both your cheerleader and coach. OWN your success!!! You deserve it!

Ksh1055

I agree with the other responses. I consider losing 100 lbs in the time you did to show a great deal of commitment to the success of your surgery. I am only about 4 months out and have started logging all my food for the day in the morning with the exception of dinner and evening snack so I know how close to my goal I am. If need be I adjust my food accordingly and keep to it for the most part, always ensuring I spread out my protein throughout the day with about 1/4-1/3 left for dinner and snack.

This type of logging has been helping me immensely. I have slipped a few times and had chocolate or other food that I shouldn't and after that I go back to protein shakes/yogurt smoothies or protein bars for a couple of days and drink lots of water to help me get back on track. I have heard that after losing 100 lbs. most people hit a plateau for a while and then start losing again, particularly if they are working out.

Hang in there - you'll start seeing the scales move soon. Feel free to friend me if you would like.

Karen

hurricanelena

Thanks everyone for the support!

I guess to be clearer, the 100lbs is total from my heaviest (which I've hit several times most recently last Sept). Its been about 50 ish pounds since the surgery in Jan, a good chunk of which was in the first two months.

I'm feeling a little more positive today, after a bit of scolding from my nutritionist. I think in my quest to calorie count I've been letting my nutrition slide. So I will be making an effort to up my protein amounts and drink more water. Most likely part of my lack of loss is related to the fact that I've been eating out more and getting more sodium intake.

Unfortunately that's going to be hard to correct in the next month as I have three trips through the end of the month, one of which is an international trip so I have no idea what will be available, but I'm staying at an eco-resort so food should be good The other trip for work will be tricky since socializing will co-workers is involved as well as lack of time. However going home to see my parents isn't a problem as my parents have picked up really bad food habits since they've become empty nesters and I usually end up grocery shopping and cooking anyway to get them to eat something better.

My nutritionist also suggested seeing a therapist for personal sessions (they did the seminar jointly). I'm going to seriously consider that, and in the meantime make sure I review the material that I got for some coping strategies.

And I booked my pedicure. Not the whole spa day, but I'm trying

Ksh1055

On the positive side traveling requires some type of exercise and there is almost always some type of exercise equipment or at least a pool for you to get in. Even 15 minutes will help burn those calories. You also have to haul luggage around and who knows what else. Many things you don't even think of as exercise burn calories as I have found out by using MFP.

It's hard to travel for work with everything involved--make sure you have protein snacks in your purse and on the flight(s) and you'll do just fine.

I have faith in you and have some great trips - at least the international one sounds like a great adventure. Hopefully you'll have a little time to take in some of the sights.

Thaeda

I think individual therapy is a brilliant idea. There is NO WAY I would have had near the success I have had so far if I had not spent some time in therapy. For me, weight/food issues have been life long problems for me--- the matter is complex and multi-layered, and takes time, patience, and compassion to address. If losing weight and keeping it off really was just a matter of calories in/out, we would have all been successful long ago--- but it is so much more than that (at least it is for me).

Above all-- KINDNESS to yourself. You are on a journey that is fraught with challenges. Every good decision you make is something worth celebrating. Be good to you.

garber6th

I think individual therapy is a brilliant idea. There is NO WAY I would have had near the success I have had so far if I had not spent some time in therapy. For me, weight/food issues have been life long problems for me--- the matter is complex and multi-layered, and takes time, patience, and compassion to address. If losing weight and keeping it off really was just a matter of calories in/out, we would have all been successful long ago--- but it is so much more than that (at least it is for me).

Above all-- KINDNESS to yourself. You are on a journey that is fraught with challenges. Every good decision you make is something worth celebrating. Be good to you.

This. I didn't even consider surgery until after I had therapy to work out my issues with weight and food and I am glad I did it that way. We need to care for ourselves both inside and out!