I didn't cry or eat the ice cream, but I want to do both

dawnp1833

I've had a horrible week at work. Thinking of changing jobs, and maybe changing careers, but I'm feeling kind of stuck right now, for a lot of reasons. Then last night my husband casually mentions that he thinks I'm boring. (I already know he doesn't find me attractive, so add boring to that and what have we got? Nothing?) And I don't have any close friends, so this makes me feel even more alone.

I was driving past Dairy Queen and feeling like I wanted to just go home and sit in a dark room and cry, but then maybe just get ice cream to make myself feel better. And I realized that's what got me so fat to begin with and I really would only feel better for a few minutes, then just feel even worse if I had the ice cream. So I didn't get it. And I didn't go home and cry. And I'm trying really hard not to right now, because I'm at work.

I just feel like such a loser right now.

bookworm_847

I'm so sorry you're going through all of this. It sounds like you have two forces working against you, don't let yourself be a third! I know it's easier said than done to not beat yourself up, but hang in there. Be kind to yourself and congratulate yourself for every achievement and accomplishment. Hopefully whatever positivity you bestow upon yourself will have a snowball effect and soon the things outside won't get you as much.

As far as the career thing, do you have other things you'd like to do? Or could you take one of those career tests to see what would be a good fit for you? Or would going back to school be an option for you?

I hope things get better soon.

brenn24179

Oh my, you are very pretty, and your husband doesn't think you are attractive. I know my husband is a little boring, but I like that about him, he is a very stable man, the kind that comes home at night, does coupons, wont get us in debt, dependable. But I know what it is like to try to solve problems with ice cream. That is me exactly. I think being aware of this takes care of a lot of the problem. Now you can sit down with yourself and figure some stuff out. You don't want ice cream, you want an ice cream life, good husband, good job, etc. It is easier to eat than deal. You will figure this stuff out.

You look great in your picture! I have found it takes a lot of courage some times, changing jobs, confrontation with someone, that is why I had rather take the easy way and eat but when we don't we figure out who we are and it feels good.

Ask your husband why he says you are boring, tell him to find stuff for ya to do, I know my hubby and I bike and go to the lake and we have a Fair in town now to go to and it is always fun.

bookworm_847

I wanted to check back in and see how you ladies are doing. I hope things are looking up. :flowerforyou:

brenn24179

yes dp are you doing better? thinking of you also.

dawnp1833

Hi, Thanks ladies. I'm ok. Just feeling kind of lost.

Lots of things happening at work - the CEO is afraid he's going to get in trouble, so he's firing and demoting people to make it look like it was their fault and he's fixing it. Which leads to terrible morale and lots of us nervous that we could be next. And I wasn't that happy about my job to begin with. I think I need to start looking for something new, but it's one of those things where it's gotten comfortable. My office is 10 minutes from home and I can run home and let my dogs out on my lunch breaks and there aren't many opportunities in my area, so I'll need to commute into the city, which I am not excited about. It's got me kind of frozen in place. And I'm thinking maybe career change, which is scary. The one person who was sort of my friend at work is the CEO's assistant and she is taking his side in all of this, so I can't really talk to her. And couldn't talk to her about thinking of a new career anyway.

The thing with my husband - I might have overreacted a little because of all the other stress. I don't know. He has serious battles with depression, (and maybe something else I suspect - it's hard to get a diagnosis) so sometimes he says things he doesn't really mean, but they still hurt. And it's hard to be patient with him when I'm having my own troubles.

Anyway, thanks for listening. It's nice to know someone cares.

brenn24179

glad to hear from you. You are a beautiful lady and I feel bad for you about your job situation. I know I have been in bad situations at work and usually stayed too long but sometimes you have to for a while until you get things figured out. Keep your eyes opened though and look around (no harm in that). That is what I did and started asking people about jobs and then talking with people found me a new one. Don't let your hubbys attitude get you down. I am trying to learn to create my own happiness which I have had to do when my adult children let me down. Sometimes they are in a bad place and take it out on us.

One thing I do know ice cream is not the answer, who knew? I have used food for comfort for so long it is difficult to change. Telling myself I can work thru stuff without food and when I do it feels really good. Gosh I will never solve anything if I keep eating.