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Living4me123

Hello everyone. I am so glad to have found and joined this group. I am 3 months into the 6 month process for VSG. I have found out allot about my health. I have a fatty liver, hiatal hernia and mild sleep apnea. All of course from being obese, but scary to hear this from a medical professional. The good news is, it is nothing that weight loss won't improve so this further validates the reason to have this surgery, I want to be healthy!!
These first 3 months have been rough going through all the testing, nutrition classes and all the information to absorb! I have been struggling with loosing weight pre-op. My Dr was very disappointed when I saw him last week since I had gained weight. I don't know what it is, but ever since I have committed myself to this process, I have been eating more. Like I better eat it now since I will not be able to eat it after surgery (at least for a while, maybe never again?) Has anyone else had these feelings?
I have just this week started to change my behavior. I am determined to change my behavior before surgery. I bought a book " Weight Loss Surgery: The Real Skinny" and it was eye opening! It talks about the food addiction and emotional part of how did I get into this mess and why can't I get myself out. After reading this book I was depressed. I realized that I am going to loose my go to emotional drug...FOOD! You see, I LOVE to cook and feed people and I LOVE to eat! Food has always been there for me!
With that said, I know what I have to do...change my behavior! It is not going to be easy, but I am worth it!
I would be very interested to hear if anyone has had the same feelings and how you dealt with it...I hope to have surgery in October.

pawoodhull

I think most people go through those feelings. You love to cook and feed people. That doesn't have to change. You can still cook and feed people as long as you are feeding yourself according to plan. You might have to change the kinds of things you make and serve for others if you can't leave it alone, but serving healthier chioces to your guests and family is better for them as well as you. Point is, you can still be you and do the kinds of things you love to do and be successful at this too.

I personally didn't have many issues with giving up certain foods. I know I can't control myself with some things, they are my trigger foods. For me deciding to no longer eat them was the easiet way to go. I don't want to reintroduce them into my life only to find I still can't control myself, so I just don't eat them any longer. I didn't mourn them and I don't feel deprived and I think the reason for that is this was my choice. I choose not to have those foods in my life. Truth is, there comes a point in time when you can eat anything you want again. Maybe not in the same amounts as before, but you can eat what you want. So I decided early on that I would be in control this time, I would make the choices, I would no longer have food in the house I can't leave alone, because getting and keeping the weight off is so much more important to me than those foods. I call it taking control. Others probably see it as avoidance. That's OK because this is what works for me.

You will figure out what works for you. Attend the support groups or go to counseling. Buddy up with someone close to you. Each of us has found his or her coping method. Figure out what you need. You can do this. Every one of us on here gave up some kind of food or foods to make this work, we all figured out what worked best for us. It's not easy, but if we all can, so can you.

Living4me123

Thank you so much Pawoodhull for the encouragement and advice! I can and will do this...I had a long talk with hubby and told him there is going to be allot of changes and luckily he supports me..I am, like I am sure most were before surgery, excited and scared!

Mangopickle

Yay you! You have made a huge leap along your health journey. Obesity is about the "Why" we eat far more than the "what" we eat. As obese people when we are happy,sad,depressed,tired,bored,broke,grieving,celebrating we eat. It is our default activity. You said that food has always been there for you. Really? The few minutes of pleasure from food was a poor trade off for the 34 years of humiliating obesity I experienced. I stopped medicating with food about a year before my surgery. I had begun working closely with my priest who was a former physician on my gluttony problem. He pointed out that I was always seeking the pleasure of food to medicate against the daily stresses of life. He reminded me that death, disease, destruction and loss are all part of a rich full life. When you are sad, be sad. God has always been there for you if you are willing to ask for his help. He will guide you thru the crap of life and help you make good choices. Eating yourself into an early grave isn't coping. Coping is being mad, sad,angry,depressed,stressed out, etc, but moving forward with healthy decisions. He told me just be mad,sad,angry. Don't run to food. That doesn't resolve your issue, that ignores and suppresses the problem. The most amazing things happen when you just let yourself feel your emotions.....They pass!!! You dealt, and then.....You move on and you feel GREAT! Your happiness level just soars. Food becomes so not important anymore. I joke that I worshiped at the alter of food. I talked about food and dreamed about food like a boyfriend. That said I still have trigger foods that have not been invited back into my life. When I eat wheat,rice,potato and processed corn I go back to what I call food prison. My thoughts are filled with rich high carb foods and I am miserable...like an alcoholic, for me, it is best to let them go. As for cooking, I cook more than ever now. Constantly gathering new exciting recipes that do not contain wheat,rice,potato or processed corn. I make quinoa quiches, summer squash pizza crust, Farinata, chick pea wraps. I cook for family,friends and church. In fact my gluten free goodies are quite popular. As for whether you can eat all food later. Most likely you can eat 99% of everything you eat now within 6 months. The question is will you choose you or will you choose food. I know without a doubt I could eat a 2 lb (about 5000calories) bag of chips. It would take all day but I could do it. Go to some post op support groups and meet some people this will really help you. The surgery is only 10% of this process. 90% are your choices moving forward. God bless, you CAN do this and you are SO WORTHY!!

Living4me123

Thank you Mangopickle for the fantastic insight and words do encouragement! I am working on changing my thoughts about food! I pray for strength every night to feel emotions and not suppress using food which is exactly what I have been doing is medicating using food. I will also look research some healthy cookbooks and experiment with healthier foods.. Please share if you have any cookbook suggestions. I have already made the decision and have chosen to remove known trigger foods from my house now. I am learning more about myself everyday and I am taking steps, baby steps, In choosing me!

Mangopickle

Here is a great website for tips and tricks.
http://theworldaccordingtoeggface.blogspot.com
I also check out Pinterest,yummly,and epicurious for recipes.
This quinoa crust really is great once you are back on regular food. Loaded with protein
http://www.closetcooking.com/2013/05/asparagus-baby-artichoke-pesto-and-goat.html
Any low carb recipe is usually a winner.
This is a recipe I make all the time. Comes out like a huge sheet of cheesy bread. I just sub in quinoa flour for the whole wheat for me.
http://allrecipes.com/recipe/summer-squash-pizza-crust/

Mangopickle

How could I forget this one?!
http://www.skinnytaste.com/2012/07/zucchini-tots.html
The skinny taste website!

relentless2121

Welcome to the site Living4Me123 :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:
I should be having my surgery around October as well. Feel free to friend me.

Thank you to Pawoodhull and Mangopickle for their awesome feedback. I really look up to these two women who really live this life change. You both are mentors to me. Thank you always for sharing your experience, strength and hope.:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Living4me123

Awesome! thank you everyone for the welcome, information and encouragement!!

Thaeda

Welcome!! I had my last weigh in that "counted" (in terms of my insurance co. approving the surgery) 6 weeks before my surgery. I lost about 20 pounds up until that weigh in. Over the next 5 weeks, I gained it ALL back having "food funerals"-- eating all of the things I thought I would be "missing" later. Initially, it was kind of fun, but over time it got really tiresome. How silly-- because now I know there is nothing I "can't" eat-- but there are some foods I choose not to eat (refined carbs, sugar, rice, potatoes).

I say the surgery gives me "leverage"-- this is what I mean by that: In the past, i struggled to make good decisions when I had cravings and was really hungry. Now, I very rarely experience true physical hunger any where near the level I did prior to surgery. Since my physical symptoms are lessened, I feel more in control. It is easier for me to make a good food choice. Now, I still need to plan (I pack my lunch, if we are going out to eat I have a general idea of what is on the menu and what I plan to order, etc.), but I feel like food has a lot less power over me than it used to.

Keep posting! Best of luck to you!

SimplySusan63

I agree with everything that's been said on this post. I think most of us who struggle with food/weight issues are using food as a comfort and a refuge. I have 2 things to offer:

1) I got into counseling before my surgery. I was so scared that I would have the surgery, loose the weight and put it all back on. That would have been devastating to me. I had to work through the issues that got me to 284 lbs in the first place. I am so glad I did. I still have issues but I'm better able to work through them.

2) I had to learn that VSG is truly a TOOL. And as a tool it will only work when I use it and use it properly. The surgery alone is not going to solve my obesity. VSG provided me with a tool to help me loose weight by eating significantly less. But if I don't actively work on myself with healthy eating and exercise I would not be successful. I had to really get that, learn that. VSG will not help me long term if I'm not willing to use the tool as it's intended.

I hope that these 2 things will help you, Living4Me123. Please let us all know if you need anything. We're all here to help.

Susan

Living4me123

Thaeda I believe that is what I have been doing is having food funerals since I have gained 8lbs in 2 months! My Dr was not happy! I have stopped!! I am now trying very hard to change my behavior before surgery! I am reading, and reading to get it embedded into my head that the surgery will be a tool and it is totally up to me! Simply Susan63 that is one of my biggest fears as well that I will loose the weight and then gain it all back. I lost almot 100lbs in WW and have gained it all back over the last 10 years going up and down and up, up....I will be attending the support group that my Dr offers for sure!....Thanks for all the feedback!