Motivation
bariatricbarbie1
Posts: 39
I am not a person of inspiration and I rarely talk about personal issues and subjects but this journey is something that God has laid on my heart. I am a 28 year old, single, female from Blue Ridge, Georgia. My goal in life has always been to find a good man, get married, have as many children as possible and live happily ever after. Dreams of being a wife and mother have been halted by this dreadful disease called obesity. As a young child, I began to rapidly gain weight and could not really figure out why. I went to one doctor after another with no real results; they all seemed to say the same thing “stop eating so much and become more active.” That is where I got discouraged because I wasn’t really any different than the other kids, I just retained the weight. At age 12, I finally received my diagnosis of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome (PCOS). This disease process is what was causing my weight gain and no matter how hard I tried to lose the weight whether it was with pills, diet or exercise…it never went away. More than a decade passed and I just dealt with the weight gain, bought bigger clothes, lost interest in being social and as hard as it is to admit it, I became depressed.
Be faithful and true and God will give you the desires of your heart, is something I have heard over and over. I had a close walk with God and He never gave me the desires of my heart, so I strayed away. I tried everything possible to be happy. I moved away from my parents, had my own place where I thought I would be free. I continued my education by getting licenses, diplomas and degrees from schools in hopes of finding something to fulfill the void in my life. I started serial dating, met men from the Internet, personal ads and would go out with just about anyone that would give me a second glance. I have never been the beauty queen and I am not the kind of girl that men just approach. I was ready and willing to give anyone a chance, 8 out of 10 times…physical contact is all that was desired.
At age 21, I had become part of the 300 pound club and was not at all happy with myself. I knew at the rate I was going, I was going to either be a “hermit” or die. There was no more hope of being a wife or a mother. I started researching diligently and found the lap band procedure. It seemed like the perfect solution for me, it was an outpatient procedure, reversible, and low and behold 80% of the women that have this procedure are cured of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome within a year of surgery. When I read those statistics I was ready to swallow all my pride and go under the knife. I could not have asked for a nicer surgeon. Unfortunately, he steered me in the wrong direction and did a surgery that was not best for me. I had never felt sicker in my entire life. I felt like anything that could have gone wrong did. I returned to the facility numerous times over the years and asked to be “fixed”. I was gaining weight, losing my hair, I was weak and tired all the time and I had no desire for anything. For six years this process continued and I never got results or any relief.
November 2013 I found an amazing surgeon (Dr. Nguyen) with such a passion for people. He reviewed my case and has taken me on as a patient. For the past eight months I have been seeing him and he has been nothing but supportive. I feel as if he is personally invested in me and my success. In just a few short weeks he will be taking me into the operating room and not only changing my body but changing my life. He is going to take the Lap-Band out and repair the damage that is there and then will proceed with performing a modified Gastric Bypass surgery. I am so excited about this surgery and for the good things that are going to come from the procedure. I never wanted to have surgery in the first place but I know that all things happen for a reason and my suffering may just be for the good of someone else and I am okay with that.
Crazy as it may sound, I am glad that I have gone through all of the experiences that I have because I know they were to bring me to the point I am at in life now. There is something that we should all know about life and self-love, and it is much different than what we might have thought or been taught in our lives. To really love is to love the mountain fresh air as you breathe in and breathe out. It is to love and appreciate the dexterity of your fingers as you wrap your fingers around a fork to enjoy your meal. To fully love, you must fully live. The cold hard truth about fully living is that is can be hard, lonely, cold and sometimes depressing. In the process of living through the ups and downs you learn to experience each moment deeply, fully, and completely. All of this lies in the act of loving yourself, your neighbor, your enemy, and of loving this beautiful, awe-inspiring life that we have all been given
Be faithful and true and God will give you the desires of your heart, is something I have heard over and over. I had a close walk with God and He never gave me the desires of my heart, so I strayed away. I tried everything possible to be happy. I moved away from my parents, had my own place where I thought I would be free. I continued my education by getting licenses, diplomas and degrees from schools in hopes of finding something to fulfill the void in my life. I started serial dating, met men from the Internet, personal ads and would go out with just about anyone that would give me a second glance. I have never been the beauty queen and I am not the kind of girl that men just approach. I was ready and willing to give anyone a chance, 8 out of 10 times…physical contact is all that was desired.
At age 21, I had become part of the 300 pound club and was not at all happy with myself. I knew at the rate I was going, I was going to either be a “hermit” or die. There was no more hope of being a wife or a mother. I started researching diligently and found the lap band procedure. It seemed like the perfect solution for me, it was an outpatient procedure, reversible, and low and behold 80% of the women that have this procedure are cured of Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome within a year of surgery. When I read those statistics I was ready to swallow all my pride and go under the knife. I could not have asked for a nicer surgeon. Unfortunately, he steered me in the wrong direction and did a surgery that was not best for me. I had never felt sicker in my entire life. I felt like anything that could have gone wrong did. I returned to the facility numerous times over the years and asked to be “fixed”. I was gaining weight, losing my hair, I was weak and tired all the time and I had no desire for anything. For six years this process continued and I never got results or any relief.
November 2013 I found an amazing surgeon (Dr. Nguyen) with such a passion for people. He reviewed my case and has taken me on as a patient. For the past eight months I have been seeing him and he has been nothing but supportive. I feel as if he is personally invested in me and my success. In just a few short weeks he will be taking me into the operating room and not only changing my body but changing my life. He is going to take the Lap-Band out and repair the damage that is there and then will proceed with performing a modified Gastric Bypass surgery. I am so excited about this surgery and for the good things that are going to come from the procedure. I never wanted to have surgery in the first place but I know that all things happen for a reason and my suffering may just be for the good of someone else and I am okay with that.
Crazy as it may sound, I am glad that I have gone through all of the experiences that I have because I know they were to bring me to the point I am at in life now. There is something that we should all know about life and self-love, and it is much different than what we might have thought or been taught in our lives. To really love is to love the mountain fresh air as you breathe in and breathe out. It is to love and appreciate the dexterity of your fingers as you wrap your fingers around a fork to enjoy your meal. To fully love, you must fully live. The cold hard truth about fully living is that is can be hard, lonely, cold and sometimes depressing. In the process of living through the ups and downs you learn to experience each moment deeply, fully, and completely. All of this lies in the act of loving yourself, your neighbor, your enemy, and of loving this beautiful, awe-inspiring life that we have all been given
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