An unintended trigger...

meridianova
meridianova Posts: 438 Member
i know this group doesn't get a lot of activity on the message boards, but i need a place to rant. hopefully just the act of typing everything out will help me.

the more i've been paying attention to my food, my calories, and my macros, the more i'm feeling like food is an addiction that i need to stop. and while i know that's not right, that food is necessary for me to function, the process of logging everything (which i realize is also kinda required) is making me want to shy away from eating again.

and then i look at people snacking, eating dessert, seemingly not caring about what they eat and being jealous of them for being able to eat that donut, that piece of pie, the fried chicken skin, even the fresh fruit without having to worry.

i'm here, doing all of this, because i (desperately) need to lose weight. i'm tired of being a prisoner in my own fat. every pound lost is a battle, and has been out of whack with what MFP predicts for loss which makes things even more frustrating. food is starting to become the enemy again, and the only thing worse than that is for me to again start thinking that i'm not worthy of eating.