Distorted Perception Of Body Image

relentless2121

Hi Everyone
I had a friend take a few before pictures of me the other day with some outdoor front and side view poses.
When I looked at them, I was shocked to see just how big I really am, especially around the belly from the side view.
I have avoided full body pictures for years and make sure that I stand behind the crowd and just get my face or upper body in pictures. I often request pictures above the waist when I have my picture taken.:glasses:
Over the years and up until about the time I was around 260 I would get the occasional compliment that I carried my weight very well. My highest was about 320.
This past year or two I have really become aware that I have had quite a distorted view of just how big I really am and I am now 49 years old.
I would think that post-op when we lose a large amount of weight it must really play head games with out mind.
So the question I am putting out there to all of you is have any of you had distorted perceptions of your body size before surgery?
I would be interested to hear other people's experiences regarding you perception of body image.

ATXHeather

I absolutely had/have a distorted image. My starting weight was 315 but I never felt that big. Also, I never had any weight-related health problems. It always amused me how the nurses would be surprised at my blood pressure and the results of my glucose tests. Also, I thought I was pretty active - working part-time, homeschooling my kids, taking them to the zoo, the park, etc. It was when I became a single mom and needed to start doing things on my own instead of relying on my partner that I realized how overweight I was. When I took my kids camping this past spring, I realized how big I was and how much it was limiting me. I couldn't get up from the air mattress. Canoeing with two kids who are bean-poles was ridiculous. I couldn't fit into the camping chairs, etc. That was a real wake up for me and it wasn't long after that that I decided to pursue surgery.

I will say that I also thought I was fat when I weighed 160 lbs or even less than that. So, being truly fat just felt like more of the same. Fat then, fat now, what's the difference? (150 lbs!!) I don't know if I will ever not feel fat. Honestly, my goal for this surgery has always been to be more active, not to be thin. I think for me and my messed up image, that's a better goal.

pattycakes726

Yes! It was years before I accepted how large I was. I never kept a full length mirror or a scale in the house. I'm sure I went 5 years without weighing myself. Pictures of myself always shocked me because I was sure I wasn't 'that much bigger' than other people. But pictures don't lie. My moment of reckoning came one day while I was getting dressed for a friend's wedding. I took my size 24 dress out of the closet and was shocked at how big it was. When I put it on it was snug! For the first time in a really long time I looked closely at myself in the mirror and really saw how big I'd gotten. It was beginning of the path that led me to VSG.

Now at 155 lbs, my body image is still a bit distorted but getting better. I still feel like a fat person a lot of the time. When I pick up clothes in my current size, they look impossibly small to me and I'm genuinely surprised when they fit. When someone described me as 'slender' a couple weeks ago, I thought for a moment that she was mocking me.

The other night I stood in front of the mirror (I have a full length one now!) and really tried to see my body as it is. I'm not fat anymore. I am actually kind of thin now - very saggy, but thin!

I'm not sure if my head and body will ever really be on the same page, but I hope that my body image will continue to be closer to the reality.

Mangopickle

2 yrs ago I finally realized I wasn't a big hourglass shaped girl anymore. I had begun to look like an oompah loompah. Photos had become shocking to look at. Now I have trouble seeing myself as normal sized. I still look very big to me. I am stunned that size 6 pants and small tops fit perfectly with no snugness. I am 150 lbs and 5'5"

garber6th

Yesterday I was with some friends and referred to myself as fat. They said, Dale, you are not fat any more. I insisted I am still fat. My friends are really awesome and supportive and they help me get through those kind of moments. Sometimes I look in the mirror and I am amazed at how far I have come, and I like what I see, other times I still see the fat girl. I don't know if or when that will completely go away, it was who I was for SO long. I also will hold up my clothes and think they are way too small, but then they fit. Sometimes when I go into a regular size store, I feel out of place. It's all going to take some getting used to.

aylajane

Haha - yes! I go to pick out clothes and go immediately to the "plus" section. When I force myself to pick what I know to be my real size (4-6!!), I hold them up and say "There is NO way this will fit"... but then it does. That "fat" image just never seems to go away. I knew I was fat before, but thought I "carried it well" too - looking at pics now of what I looked like then, i did NOT carry it well! In some ways, I think of myself as fat more now than I did when I really was fat... Its very odd

bikrchk

This is the biggest head trip of my life! I had an realization last night as I sat on the upper deck of a local bar listenting to a good local band with some friends. We're in a heat wave in the midwest and it's warm, but I'm not melting from the heat as I'd anticipated. That is strange. I'm watching the band and the dancers on the dance floor from above and there's this one woman in a simple snug tank and jeans. She's tall, with long thin arms and having the time of her life. I'm thinking, I'd love to have those arms, (I'm working to build muscle, but she was about 30 and had not carried the weight of an extra person for 30 years)! Then I though about it again and thought... damn! She was maybe one size smaller than me. FOR REAL! When did THAT happen? Is that even close to how others see me? REALLY? Because I certainly can't see it. I look in the mirror and see progress, but not that much progress. The mind is a funny thing. She DID motivate me to crank up my upper body workout this morning though!

katematt313

Yes. I feel that I somehow did not allow myself to see all of my fat, pre-op. Crazy but true! When you lose it, you will see it go, though.

The good news is that you will look at yourself in the mirror as you continue to lose weight, and you will like what you see.

You will be pleasantly surprised as your waistline whittles away, and as the fat in your face melts, revealing the pretty bone structure beneath.

You will be able to feel your ribs and see your collar bones. At some point, maybe after 40 lbs lost, you will compare an old picture with a current picture, and realize that you don't even look like the old you anymore. Pictures really help.

pawoodhull

Absolutely! In fact when I did that comparrison picture of the head shot taken a year before surgery and the one just a couple of weeks ago, I was once again amazed at how huge I was. The full body comparrison I did about a year ago was the same. I knew I was huge but did not realize how aweful or how old I looked. I really was living in the land of denial for a long time!

Most of the time now I feel really good about my size, happy with how I look. But I still have my days when I feel fat and feel like I look fat. I have 64 pounds to goal, but I think I will always have days when I still feel fat even though I'm not anymore.

Pat