14 Week Sherambler Self Challenge
sherambler
Posts: 303 Member
My therapist is supposed to have her baby in 2 weeks and then she will be gone for 12 weeks. I'm nervous and excited because we're both looking at this as a test...will I be able to hack it without knowing I'll be checking in with someone every 2 weeks? Will I rise to the challenge, or view this as time off, as some type of free pass? Am I finally able to hold myself accountable in a major way, and not just during a one-week streak? What can I accomplish in 14 weeks?
When I was leaving the her office yesterday, I found myself crying (not hysterically or anything) on the highway. I realized this was because for the last year we've been doing this 2 steps forward 1.5 steps back thing. I've made good progress this year in terms of my relationship with food and bingeing, but when it comes to the numbers on the scale and the fat on my body...not so much. I get it...I've lost 11 lbs and that's 11lbs I'll probably never see again...but what I want is to really get focused and committed on the weight loss part of this journey, so she can return in the 14 weeks and feel like...yeah, she's got this. I want to feel like...yeah, I've got this. I don't want to necessarily drop a s*#% ton of weight, though that would be nice, but I want to find some long term progress. I want to hold myself accountable every day. Log every day. Eat the foods I know I should be eating. I want to really push myself to do the things I know I should be doing, rather than falling back on old excuses, old coping mechanisms, and old behaviors. I have all the skills. I have the knowledge. I have the support at home. I just need to put it into practice. I want to see what is possible when I really give it 100% because when I'm really honest about it I'm not nearly as committed as I think I am.
My goal was to be in a place where I wouldn't have to continue therapy once she went on maternity leave. That didn't happen and this is my new goal. The 14 weeks end on December 2nd. You know, just in time for the holidays.
When I was leaving the her office yesterday, I found myself crying (not hysterically or anything) on the highway. I realized this was because for the last year we've been doing this 2 steps forward 1.5 steps back thing. I've made good progress this year in terms of my relationship with food and bingeing, but when it comes to the numbers on the scale and the fat on my body...not so much. I get it...I've lost 11 lbs and that's 11lbs I'll probably never see again...but what I want is to really get focused and committed on the weight loss part of this journey, so she can return in the 14 weeks and feel like...yeah, she's got this. I want to feel like...yeah, I've got this. I don't want to necessarily drop a s*#% ton of weight, though that would be nice, but I want to find some long term progress. I want to hold myself accountable every day. Log every day. Eat the foods I know I should be eating. I want to really push myself to do the things I know I should be doing, rather than falling back on old excuses, old coping mechanisms, and old behaviors. I have all the skills. I have the knowledge. I have the support at home. I just need to put it into practice. I want to see what is possible when I really give it 100% because when I'm really honest about it I'm not nearly as committed as I think I am.
My goal was to be in a place where I wouldn't have to continue therapy once she went on maternity leave. That didn't happen and this is my new goal. The 14 weeks end on December 2nd. You know, just in time for the holidays.
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You can use this site and this group or message a friend on here. If you feel better being accountable (I know I do ) then you could log in daily or as often as you want to on a thread you create here. Create your own personal accountability thread or an open accountability thread that others may join in on. You could start a blog to write things that are on your mind or use one you have already if got one. I log in here a lot because it helps keep me focused. I have been in therapy and counselling for few years and am weaning myself of my counsillor at the moment. I probably will not see her again after next week. I last saw her 5 weeks ago. It used to be weekly then 2 weekly then 4 weekly and so on. I feel I have spoken about all I have to speak about and I feel ready not to see her any more. I have been upset in past when therapies came to a time limited end before i felt ready so I can understand how you feel.0
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I truly admire your goals and your ambition!! You are on a good path...
But, if you happen to find yourself straying from the path or struggling to keep your motivation, please don't hesitate to call on someone to help you get back on the path and motivated. We all think this has to be all or nothing, all ourselves. Well, we are human. We are flawed, beautifully so (how boring would the world be otherwise?!?!?!)...
So, one of the things I have to continuously work on is allowing myself to ask for help when I need it, instead of once I'm in the middle of the snowball headed down the huge hill picking up steam, ready to destroy myself and everything in my path. This is incredibly challenging for me, because I am always the first one to want to help, to volunteer myself and my efforts, time, and energy. Yet, I still don't feel worthy to ask for help, or on the occasion I feel okay about it all, it makes me feel like an abject failure to need to ask for help. And yet, I counsel others to let themselves ask for help...but I can't do it myself.
Yes, I'm a hypocrite. Working on recovery... So please, don't put yourself at risk of failure IF you feel the pressure weighing on you or IF you start to need a safety net. That is what is awesome with this group. Even if one or twelve person is overwhelmed in his/her own life, someone will step up!!!
Hugs...and best wishes for strength, endurance, temperance, and motivation - as well as HEALING...on your challenge. My blessing and wish for you is that you absolutely DON'T NEED US...but if you do, we are here.
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