Have you tried GLP1 medications and found it didn't work for you? We'd like to hear about your experiences, what you tried, why it didn't work and how you're doing now. Click here to tell us your story

Looking for other elderly care takers for support

Robyn7762
Robyn7762 Posts: 159 Member
Hi my name is Robyn and I care for my 90 yr. old mother-in-law with the help of my husband. She lives in our home. We have no help or a support system. We recently called in Hospice to give us help, but for the past 7 yrs. we have been doing this alone. He has 2 brothers and 2 sister. 1 brother and 1 sister over the past few months have stepped up a little to help us with a few things. Like taking the trash to the reclining ctr. or coming to sit with on of us so the other can have a day out.

We are finally getting a vacation this come weekend thru hospice putting her in the hospice room at the the local hospital. Our health has suffered. We are both on anti anxiety meds. and we have both gained over 50 lbs. because of the stress and not being able to do active workouts. We are over stressed and exhausted and we would like to share helpful ideas with others who are in the or similar situation.

It would be nice just to have some to talk to who is going thru the same or similar situation as we are. Please join and share what your going thru with us.

Hugs, and God Bless. Robyn:heart:

Replies

  • tokig0313
    tokig0313 Posts: 99 Member
    I currently am working as full time live-in-caregiver for a 91 year old gentleman. While I'm not a family member, I've known his family for years and have been helping him now for over two years.

    He's still independent in the sense that he uses a walker to get around and can do things like get dressed, bathe, etc. on his own. I mostly am there to help with day to day things like cleaning, laundry, cooking, and keeping him company.

    I'm fortunate to have sort of built/acquired a home gym in the basement of the house, so I can often slip down for an hour or so while he naps in his chair and get a workout in. Occasionally it can get interrupted or missed depending on the day, but it's really helped me out a lot more recently.
  • Robyn7762
    Robyn7762 Posts: 159 Member
    tokig0313, Nice to met you. Wow that is a task! Nice that you have a gym to work out in, in the home. This is a very hard job. I wish you the best. I do all the care for my Mother-in-law. It has been a long hard job.
  • tokig0313
    tokig0313 Posts: 99 Member
    We have our moments. I think the one thing I struggle with is the days where he seems to have no appetite and pretty much sleeps all day in his chair vs getting up and going for a short walk or something.

    I try and make it his job to fetch the mail from the mailbox at the end of the driveway (I go with him of course, but it at least gets him outdoors for a few minutes most days for some fresh air) and we have two days where people come in for an hour to do exercises with him. Typically his low appetite spells only last a day or so, and can at times be broken if I do something like go out and buy him a DQ or McDonald's kids meal for a meal... but I still struggle with seeing food thrown out even if it's not my food as I try and give him a plate he can clear.
  • Robyn7762
    Robyn7762 Posts: 159 Member
    Eating is now getting to be a problem in the evening. Mom will eat a good breakfast, but will barely eat dinner. It is getting harder to fix dinner. I'm cooking dinner for me and hub and than something else for her. It is so hard. I'm so tired of trying to figure out meals. One day she something she loves she won't touch the next. I am so exhausted by 8 pm that I could just collapse.
  • lchrun
    lchrun Posts: 28 Member
    Hi - Nice to see this group! I'm a stay-at-home mom with 2 kids and care for my 75yo mom. She has suffered 2 massive strokes and has aphasia and apraxia. She lives with us and I am her full time caregiver, with a little help from someone during the week and my husband and boys. My mom can't walk, speak coherently, or answer questions (nod), but understands what she reads and hears. It's been a long frustrating road to recovery for her. I hear you both about the struggles to be encouraging and patient while trying to find a few moments for yourself.

    I have been on MFP for a few months, logging exercise and food. It's been nice to make some online friends who cheer the time I find to exercise :) Just wanted to say hello. Tokig0313 - congrats on your awesome weight loss! I'm so thankful for our caregiver and people in the healthcare field! Robyn - hope you had a great vacation. Have a great week!

    Claire