Any FT Work. Moms who needed the $ End up SAH?

thelowcarblady

I would soooooooooooooooooo love to stay at home after baby is born, but I am just not sure our finances could afford it....it really devistates me and I'm not even that far along! I just keep thinking about how much I DO NOT want to go back to work -- I just want to stay at home and enjoy my baby while they're still young! time flies by so fast and I dont want to regret anything at this juncture in my life...

So i guess my question is -- was there any Full Time working mommas that really NEEDED the money from their job, but were able to find an alternative so you were able to to stay at home?

A little brief on me -- I make about 1/2 our money right now, but my SO is supposed to get a raise around Christmas time -- we're just not sure how much. His company is still very new, and so even thought they are making plenty of money there they are still starting up and don't have a lot to throw around in giving raises just yet, but I know since they found out about me being pregnant they mentioned he should get a raise around then...

Anyways, I know I probably shouldn't freak until I find out what kind of raise he's getting, but I SOOO WANT TO FIGURE OUT SOMETHING SO I CAN STAY HOME!

Any help is appreciated!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

kalyrra

I quit my FT job to stay at home with my son when he was born. I cut our income by just a little over 50%, which hurt... but the alternative was paying for childcare (also not cheap!) and missing out on raising my little one. I decided I wasn't going to work just to mostly pay for daycare.

I don't know what others have done to help supplement their income, but I joined a direct sales company. It's still quite a bit of work, but I'm making a little extra on the side to help. Plus you can pretty much set your own hours, etc... I'm not sure if I'm allowed to discuss it here... lol... but you can private message me if you want to know more details.

Other options would be to pick up babysitting, or if you have any specialized skills like photography, or etc... you might be able to do some on the side jobs.

A big adjustment is what you spend money on, and being able to cut back on things where you can. Babies aren't cheap! The diapers alone are ridiculous, unless you do cloth (which is still a large up front cost, though it saves in the end).

All that being said, definitely wait until you know exactly what your SO will be making. If you can, take a couple months and try living ONLY on his paycheck to see if you can swing it. Put all of yours into a savings account or something, and don't touch it (unless you have an emergency). It's a good way to figure out if you can survive on one paycheck before you actually HAVE to.

TheNewoImproved

Maybe compromise with some part time work, or perhaps seeks something that will allow you to work from home?

Full time child care is INCREDIBLY expensive so it may actually be beneficial to review your finances to see if it would be more cost effective to stay home with your little one.

Sorry I couldn't be more helpful, best of luck to you and your family!

Ninkyou

I worked full time retail before having my daughter 6 years ago. If I had kept working, my paychecks would have gone straight to childcare, and I would MAYBE have $100 extra a month. It just wasn't worth it.

It was definitely an adjustment. I started couponing to save money on groceries/diapers and that helped a little bit.

You kind of just... adjust to it though.

My daughter's pediatrician asked me after she was born whether I was going to go back to work. When I told him no, he said "That's great! I have so many parents who say they wished they had spent more time with their children when they were babies. No one has EVER said, 'gee, I wish I had worked more when my kid was a baby'."

DawnieB1977

I compromised and went back part time after my first, back in 2010. I'm a secondary school teacher, so I'm lucky to also get 13 weeks holiday a year too. I do 2.5 days, which most years has been 2 days one week and 3 the next.

In England employers have to consider a flexible working request, and if they decline it, they have to give a very good reason.

Childcare is expensive, but we do get a bit of help over here. Everyone gets child benefit which isn't means tested, and you can get child tax credits/working tax credits depending on income and how much childcare you're paying. Children get 15 free hours at nursery the term after they turn 3.

I'm so glad I went part time and have got the chance to spend extra time with my children. My eldest is 5 and has been at school for a year now (they start school at 4 in England) and I miss him so much, the past few years have flown by. I'm on maternity leave with no.3 right now...luckily we can take a year.

Cheeky_and_Geeky

I was working full time, but had to quit when I was pregnant because I was on bedrest in the hospital. That helped us adjust to just one income before our daughter was born. I did work part time nights & weekends for a bit until we didn't have any debt. I plan to stay at home with baby #2. Childcare is so much, we really weren't saving any money so I worked when my husband didn't. If you quit, you may be able to get WIC assistance, etc. that's something to look into.

lisapr123

I stayed home for nine months, and went back to work (teaching) 2x a week as of a couple weeks ago.

What we did to make things affordable:
--cloth diapers (not for everyone, I know, but it was the right move for us and we were doing it regardless)
--we don't buy baby food, she eats what we eat
--nursing can save tons of money (I didn't do it long, but even generic formula costs about $80 a month)
--She has plenty, but we don't spend much. Most clothes are from resale. Her entire nursery was hand-me-downs.

One thing I didn't realize was that we'd go out WAY less and therefore spend WAY less on entertainment. What we used to spend on one night out is now a months entertainment/dining out budget. We considered cutting our cable as we haven't actually turned the TV on in months, but can't pull the plug (hockey season is approaching, and we do watch that). I wanted a landline still--not just cell--so we switched to internet based phone (OOMA) which runs about $5 a month.

I live near Chicago and our at home day care rates are about $35 per day. Even if you watch one other child a week, that's a big supplement to your income.

I'd suggest living on his income from now until you NEED to make the decision. It's the only way to know. Sock away every penny you make into an emergency savings account. And seriously, don't feel guilty if you need to/choose to work. I thought being a SAHM would be awesome. Truth is, I couldn't wait for the new school year to start so I could work part time again. I love our little girl with everything, but some of us (me!) just aren't cut out to be with a baby 24/7/365. She's an easy kid--slept thru the night from 6 weeks on, good at self-entertaining, not a crier--but it still wasn't what I thought it would be....

craudi

Ultimately it really does depend on your own financial situation. It sounds like you have more factors in play than just more money or less money with things still sort of up in the air with your husband's salary. I totally agree with the advice to live off of only your husband's income for the next few months to see how things go. Just FORGET about your money for now...put it all in an account you don't look at or deal with for the next few months and see how you do! Best of luck!!!!

I'm pregnant with my first right now, and my husband and I have decided that I'll stay home after baby comes in December. I'd had always hoped I could stay home since I grew up with my mom home too (and my husband said that growing up without his mom home made him hopeful that one of us could stay home with babies once we had them), but we knew that it would be a possibility that I would have to keep working depending on our situation and timing. Thankfully things worked out. We got preggers before my husband had a full time job (he was still a graduate student at the time), so that was stressful. We didn't know if we'd have to move or if I'd have to keep working or whatever. Now we know we won't be moving and he's got a good salary. Still, taking my pay out of the equation will be a hard hit with a family of two becoming three. We did survive easily before on just my salary before he got his new job, so that give us confidence that if we make a few spending cuts here and there (eating out, travel/gas, etc) we'll still be able to live comfortably with me at home. Plus, the benefits outweigh the downsides to me. We'll have less income, yes, but I'll be home to cook, clean, shop, and of course care for and spend time with baby. If we were both working and baby was in childcare (which would eat up the majority of my income anyway) we would often make the "too tired" excuse for cooking dinner, which would mean eating out more. We could make the same excuse for cleaning the house, besides the bare minimum. And we would have to dedicate evening time to cooking/cleaning/taking care of other business rather than spending time with the baby before she goes to bed and we send her off to childcare again the next morning. With me at home, we have the option to cloth diaper (which we planned to anyway, but a lot of childcare facilities don't do cloth so you'll have to fork out the money for disposables anyway), take care of what I can at home during the day so we can have family time in the evenings, and save money not only on childcare but eating out and other "work" costs that we forget about sometimes (like work clothes, gas for commuting, etc).