Losing Weight

lkellandmay

We went put for a 2 hour hack today and the young woman who was riding behind me said, Laura ... have you lost weight? your waist looks like an hourglass...
What a nice thing to say RIGHT?
What I thought was - wow, those stomach exercises and situps must be working. Ihaven't lost any weight but for her to say something ... they must be working.

Then I thought.Maybe my waist was looking smaller because my *kitten* was getting bigger. how's that for not appreciating the compliment? So I think there are some deeper issues in here. Like I can not accept myself being smaller or fitter or looking nice.

jcraig10

I think so many people focus on the scale when what you should really be focusing on is your measurements! Keep up the great work!

MissMissle

My and a good friend joke about this all the time - well, joke.... sadly... I guess thats what we are calling it! Neither one of us can take a compliment because our distorted body issues are still so screwed up. Everytime someone tells me I look good, or that it appears I've lost weight - ALL I can think of Jesus, HOW FAT WAS I??? I haven't lost that much weight right? I must have been HUGE?! Why didnt anyone tell me how fat I was? And Im not skinny, so if they are commenting that I lost weight, they must still think I look huge, so maybe i need to lose another 30 pounds!

Yup, basically, I can't take a compliment either without getting obsessive and freaking out and loathing my body.... We are all screwed in the head ;-)

This process has to do with a lot more than weightloss!

I've also lost almost 30 pounds and haven't gone down a single pant size. My bra size however? My boobs are like empty flabby skin sacks - what the hell???

alipene

It's really hard to take a compliment if you've spent years feeling badly about yourself. I'm at maintenance now and have been for over 18 months. People who haven't seen me for a long time always compliment me on my weightloss and I still can't believe it when friends and colleagues now say things like "it's ok for slim ones like you..." or "it's alright for you, you don't have to watch your weight" or "you're lucky, you can eat what you want". There's an implication that I've always been this weight and that it my 'norm' that I still can't get my head round. But it's all good. It's positive observation - don't look for negatives. Be proud!

suzetteducrepe

I had a discussion on this topic with my coworkers, who are all therapists and social workers. They gave me some advice around accepting compliments, and it's been a practice of mine ever since weight loss compliments started happening. When someone compliments me, I'm allowed to say "thank you," and then I have to shut up/stop talking. I can't talk the person out of the compliment, make excuses why I don't agree, and I can't argue with the compliment inside my head either. Just "Thank You." It has not been easy, and especially at the beginning. But it has gotten easier.

For me it has to do with having some grace with myself, patience, self acceptance, self love. I made part of my focus "self love" when I started this, because I did not love myself at the time. It's often unexpected, but there is a psychological process that goes along with physical weight loss, and so many issues can boil up to the forefront as you work through it. Mine has been no exception, thus discussions about it with my therapist colleagues... :laugh: One of the perks of being a psych nurse is free therapy.

shai74

I ride a clydesdale x appy. I bred him because I wanted a horse with a bigger bum than mine :P

Seriously though, I still think I'm fatter than I am. I rode a friend's horse the other week, and I was really uncomfortable about it as the horse is 15hh and I thought I was too heavy. I even said to her "make sure the girth is tight, I weigh alot more than you" and she laughed at me and said "I doubt it". I know she's also lost weight (from an 18 to about a 12 now I reckon) and we probably both have screwed up views of our own bodies.