Jealous of my husband...

Thaeda

Ok.. I KNOW this is DUMB... but I feel the need to just get it out there.... When I had surgery in late January, I asked (no BEGGED) my husband to get healthy with me. He was about 385 pounds at the time. He took my request seriously and has been low-carbing ever since. He also watches his calories (usually 1800 or less per day) and gets in at least 7000 steps per day. Well, he has lost almost 130 pounds. I am THRILLED for him--- I was so worried about his health-- he was on Metformin AND a statin AND BP meds. He goes to see the dr. next week-- I am pretty sure he will be taken off the BP med at least and that is wonderful... BUT.... he is thinner than I am. I am the one who had surgery, and all anyone talks about is how amazing HE looks!! WTH???? I have lost almost 100 pounds and dropped six sizes (28 to a 16). I admit it. I am jealous. The weight just falls off of him-- I really have to be mindful and exercise and drink water and all of that just to keep losing at all. He is still dropping 2-4 pounds a week!

I am sure I should not be complaining, after all we are both getting healthy and that is FAB-- and yet I find myself kind of jealous about him "stealing my thunder" a little. Our friends are thrilled for us both, but tend to focus more on what hubby has accomplished. I am petty and insecure and a glory hog. I admit it. Ok... felt better just to get that out.

Thanks for listening. :bigsmile:

asia1967

Thaeda: First off it is good that you recognize your feelings and you are dealing with them as opposed to eating your feeling. On the other hand you are human with human emotions. Emotions are just that, they are not right or wrong they just are. I understand what you mean by stealing some of your thunder, but you are both getting healthier and that will bring you even closer together. Be happy and thankful that he decided to join you in your journey. All the best, and vent when needed. You are doing awesome, keep up the great work.

katematt313

You are human! Give yourself a break. If I were you, I would be annoyed, too. Your accomplishment is also amazing. Good for you.

Just be up front with hubby and don't allow your annoyance with others to affect the way you feel about him. It is not his fault, and he's just doing what you asked him to do. So next time you hear one of these comments THINK TO YOURSELF (I am big on training your brain with purposeful thinking) ... "Annoyance with others = okay. Resentment of hubby = not okay."

Clearly you and hubby are a good team. You have lost 230 lbs together this year. He would not have done it without your support, and I am sure the converse is also true. You could always suggest, when you discuss with hubby, that when he gets a compliment in your presence, he could consider proudly responding that "Together, Thaeda and I have lost 230 lbs this year. We're a good team."

itsdreday

You should take his compliments as yours as well. After all, you're driving (or at least set the path for) his success too. Congrats to both of you!

Thaeda

Thaeda: First off it is good that you recognize your feelings and you are dealing with them as opposed to eating your feeling. On the other hand you are human with human emotions. Emotions are just that, they are not right or wrong they just are. I understand what you mean by stealing some of your thunder, but you are both getting healthier and that will bring you even closer together. Be happy and thankful that he decided to join you in your journey. All the best, and vent when needed. You are doing awesome, keep up the great work.

Thx for the reminder of the morally neutral value of emotions. And yes, I am very happy and thankful-- he is the love of my life and I am grateful we are on this journey together.

Thaeda

You are human! Give yourself a break. If I were you, I would be annoyed, too. Your accomplishment is also amazing. Good for you.

Just be up front with hubby and don't allow your annoyance with others to affect the way you feel about him. It is not his fault, and he's just doing what you asked him to do. So next time you hear one of these comments THINK TO YOURSELF (I am big on training your brain with purposeful thinking) ... "Annoyance with others = okay. Resentment of hubby = not okay."

Clearly you and hubby are a good team. You have lost 230 lbs together this year. He would not have done it without your support, and I am sure the converse is also true. You could always suggest, when you discuss with hubby, that when he gets a compliment in your presence, he could consider proudly responding that "Together, Thaeda and I have lost 230 lbs this year. We're a good team."

So good to know I am not a total schlub for being irked. REALLY like the "brain training"--- I am a fan of purposeful thinking as well (yay!). I will talk to him about your suggested response. He would be on board, I am sure--- he is a very loving and wonderful man.

Thaeda

You should take his compliments as yours as well. After all, you're driving (or at least set the path for) his success too. Congrats to both of you!

Hubby has suggested this, as well. His thinking is even if the person is complimenting him, they are also complimenting me by association. And thanks-- it has been really helpful to both of us to have a partner in this process.

rpyle111

Don't worry, you're still my favorite! :flowerforyou:

Give him my congratulations for busting his *kitten* and working with you so that you both succeed. Not a lot of couples can claim 230 pounds lost. Be proud of your partnership.

My wife is a down some as well. hopefully we will end up in a similar spot as you two!

Rob

pawoodhull

You should take his compliments as yours as well. After all, you're driving (or at least set the path for) his success too. Congrats to both of you!

Oh I like this! And it's right, you are the driving force behind this. And as unfair as it is, guys do lose easier them us girls do. No it's not fair, but it's true. I will say, I totally understand how you feel because I am a total glory hound myself. I love to hear the comments on how great I look from people I don't see often. It feeds my ego and helps me keep working at these last 64 pounds. I'm not ashamed to admit I need that validation. So I am right there with you my friend!

garber6th

I know how you feel in a sense. No one is exactly stealing my thunder, but the novelty of how much weight I have lost is wearing off with my friends and family. They are all proud of me and acknowledge me, but they are kinda used to me now lol. It's funny, before I lost weight, I didn't even want anyone to notice me!

Thaeda

Don't worry, you're still my favorite! :flowerforyou:

Give him my congratulations for busting his *kitten* and working with you so that you both succeed. Not a lot of couples can claim 230 pounds lost. Be proud of your partnership.

My wife is a down some as well. hopefully we will end up in a similar spot as you two!

Rob

Rob.... I am relieved to know I am still your fave.... I have lain awake at night lately troubled I might lose that status (ha ha ha). In all seriousness... TY for your encouragement. Best wishes to you and your wife! :drinker:

Thaeda

You should take his compliments as yours as well. After all, you're driving (or at least set the path for) his success too. Congrats to both of you!

Oh I like this! And it's right, you are the driving force behind this. And as unfair as it is, guys do lose easier them us girls do. No it's not fair, but it's true. I will say, I totally understand how you feel because I am a total glory hound myself. I love to hear the comments on how great I look from people I don't see often. It feeds my ego and helps me keep working at these last 64 pounds. I'm not ashamed to admit I need that validation. So I am right there with you my friend!

Good to know I am not the only glory hound. :bigsmile: And yes-- MEN! :sad: They do lose much more easily! I find it ironic as women we are objectified and held to ridiculous standards of beauty/thinness, but men lose weight easier and are not!! :mad:

Thaeda

I know how you feel in a sense. No one is exactly stealing my thunder, but the novelty of how much weight I have lost is wearing off with my friends and family. They are all proud of me and acknowledge me, but they are kinda used to me now lol. It's funny, before I lost weight, I didn't even want anyone to notice me!

I have always been an attention-seeker-- even when I was fat. I suppose being the last of nine kids has something to do with that.

Mangopickle

It is always easier for men to diet and lose weight as compared to women. It is a survival mechanism. The female is more important to the survival of a community, naturally speaking. She is programmed to last longer in times of famine. We have a definite advantage in the desert island scenario. Imagine how quickly a population could rebound. 50 women/1 man-good chance. 50 men/1 woman-no chance. Unfortunately this makes dieting 3 times harder for women.

juliebccs

Ha I am jealous of mine because he has just gone to buy himself chocolate jam doughnuts,,,AGAIN and because HE CAN.
Each of these doughnuts have 504 calories and God knows how many carbs. He buys a 4 pack about twice a week and eats 2 at a time,
And yes he is skinny!!! No he does not do much physical activity. Talk about un ruddy fair. Oh one day it will come and bit him on the backside,,,,if Karma ever kicks in.

Thaeda

It is always easier for men to diet and lose weight as compared to women. It is a survival mechanism. The female is more important to the survival of a community, naturally speaking. She is programmed to last longer in times of famine. We have a definite advantage in the desert island scenario. Imagine how quickly a population could rebound. 50 women/1 man-good chance. 50 men/1 woman-no chance. Unfortunately this makes dieting 3 times harder for women.

Yes, men do have it easier w regard to weight loss! I keep reminding myself of that-- and honestly I am THRILLED he is on this journey with me.

Thaeda

Ha I am jealous of mine because he has just gone to buy himself chocolate jam doughnuts,,,AGAIN and because HE CAN.
Each of these doughnuts have 504 calories and God knows how many carbs. He buys a 4 pack about twice a week and eats 2 at a time,
And yes he is skinny!!! No he does not do much physical activity. Talk about un ruddy fair. Oh one day it will come and bit him on the backside,,,,if Karma ever kicks in.

OMG don't you HATE that??!!! :mad: My hub will buy donuts or coffee cake or something to "spoil" our daughter when she is home from college and then he is not even tempted by them. Me? All I do is hear the voice of the junk calling my name! I told him to knock it off because I cannot have that stuff in the house and not eat it!!! Fortunately, he is a sweetie and complied.

authorwriter

*shakes head*

Men.

My husband lost 50 pounds. Went from 220 or so to 170 eating cottage cheese and lettuce. He wants to get to 165 but has been plateaued for a long time. But yeah, he did it in about six months max. He looks great and feels really good. Is off his statin. But I'm thinking "hmmm...I wonder if I'll EVER weigh less than him."